June 28, 2024

Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: Is It OK to Pray for Personal Preferences?”

Q: Is it wrong to pray for something you’d like to happen? I’ve been praying for my daughter to get accepted to a couple of universities for which she is well-qualified. But my husband said that it’s wrong to pray, that God has more important things to worry about. My husband thinks we are blessed and can’t get greedy. I do understand that I should pray for God’s will to be done and am very grateful for our blessings. But is my husband right that praying for something is wrong? Is that why the answer is always no when I pray for something? – L.J.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: There are various levels to consider in your question. The short advice is to approach prayer with great humility — and yes, with a desire that God’s will be done.

In principle it’s OK to pray to God for favors. The psalms, for instance, include numerous petitions to Our Lord.

A separate matter is what we pray for and why. This can be a complicated area.

If we pray for merely material benefits or for things that feed our vanity, that isn’t good.

For instance, it might not be good to pray for someone to get into a certain school so that he can make a lot of money someday. More than a few parents have proudly sent off their children to a coveted college, only to see them lose their faith.

There is also the attitude with which we pray. Are we approaching God in prayer in a demanding sort of way? Are we expecting him to answer us how and when we want? That could be presumptuous.

I mention this because you say that you always get a “no” when you pray for something. Is that really the case?

You say that you and your husband already realize that God has blessed the family. So how is it that God, who has blessed your family, says “no” to your prayers? Moreover, I’m guessing that your husband isn’t opposed to all prayers of petition.

For more perspective on prayer, it’s worth considering St. Augustine and his Letter to Proba. He wrote:

“It is neither wrong nor unprofitable to spend much time in praying, if there be leisure for this without hindering other good and necessary works to which duty calls us, although even in the doing of these, as I have said, we ought by cherishing holy desire to pray without ceasing.”

The saint observed, “For even of the Lord Himself it is written, that He continued all night in prayer, [Luke 6:12] and that His prayer was more prolonged when He was in an agony [Luke 22:43]; and in this is not an example given to us by Him who is in time an Intercessor such as we need, and who is with the Father eternally the Hearer of prayer?”

So, pray often … and with humility.

 

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Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Uncle Eddy

St Irenaeus of Lyons

Dear Leo,

I don’t think you have to juggle quite as much as you think.  True, your fledgling radio show takes time – you have to do enough background investigation to know what you’re talking about.  And true, your responsibilities in the Compass Chapter take time (very well spent, I would say, if you are following the Compass methodology). And, finally, it is also true that you need to devote the necessary time to your studies, since that is the primary arena of God’s will for you while you are at college.  But even so, you can change your perspective a bit.  Instead of seeing them as three separate to-dos, why not meld them into a unity?  Why not find a spicy angle on the subjects you study in class and bring them into your radio show (interviewing people, investigative reporting, etc…)?  And why not make what you see and do and learn in Compass the real “compass” for all your activities, applying the Christian principles you learn there in your classes and your radio show, even if you do so only implicitly?  Using your time well is important, but it takes creativity.

Why don’t you take a lesson from today’s saint?  Besides being a disciple of St Polycarp, who was a disciple of St John the Evangelist, intimate companion of Christ, and becoming the much-loved bishop of Lyons, Irenaeus single-handedly dealt a deathblow to Western Europe’s greatest heretical threat to early Christianity: Gnosticism.  I won’t go into details on the contents of the heresy (plenty of pamphlets that you can find in health food stores and yoga centers can do that – it’s making a comeback now in the New Age industry), but I will mention how he defeated it.

First of all he learned all about it. Now that was no easy task, considering that every Gnostic master propagated his own customized version of the heresy.  It took time, careful research, and intense mental acumen.  Then he proceeded to write five full volumes outlining Gnosticism’s fundamental principles and cataloguing its variations.  After describing each principle and each variation, he would point out its philosophical strengths and weaknesses (mostly the latter) and then present the true teaching of Christ and the Apostles on the same issue.  And every sentence was written in simple, clear, and pleasant prose, so that the humblest reader or listener could easily understand it.  In addition to protecting Christians from the heresy’s tantalizing errors, as soon as it was published, it put the poor Gnostics out of business, and, thanks be to God, brought a lot of them into the baptistery.

He killed two birds with one stone, so to speak.  If you try to do the same, and even more, I’ll be willing to bet that you not only get more done and do it better (which will be of great benefit to the Kingdom), but you’ll find yourself more at peace and more focused, no matter how big your to-do list gets.  And that will rub off on everything else.

Your devoted uncle,

Eddy

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Alex Kucera

Atlanta

Alex Kucera has lived in Atlanta, GA, for the last 46 years. He is one of 9 children, married to his wife Karmen, and has 3 girls, one grandson, and a granddaughter on the way. Alex joined Regnum Christi in 2007. Out of the gate, he joined the Helping Hands Medical Missions apostolate and is still participating today with the Ghana Friendship Mission.

In 2009, Alex was asked to be the Atlanta RC Renewal Coordinator for the Atlanta Locality to help the RC members with the RC renewal process. Alex became a Group Leader in 2012 for four of the Atlanta Men’s Section Teams and continues today. Running in parallel, in 2013, Alex became a Team Leader and shepherded a large team of good men.

Alex was honored to be the Atlanta Mission Coordinator between 2010 to 2022 (12 years), coordinating 5-8 Holy Week Mission teams across Georgia. He also created and coordinated missions at a parish in Athens, GA, for 9 years. Alex continues to coordinate Holy Week Missions, Advent Missions, and Monthly missions at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Cumming, GA.

From 2016 to 2022, Alex also served as the Men’s Section Assistant in Atlanta. He loved working with the Men’s Section Director, the Legionaries, Consecrated, and Women’s Section leadership teams.

Alex is exceptionally grateful to the Legionaries, Consecrated, and many RC members who he’s journeyed shoulder to shoulder, growing his relationship with Christ and others along the way. He knows that there is only one way, that’s Christ’s Way, with others!