June 4, 2024

Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: Is It Sinful to Want to Get Tipsy?”

Q: Is it a sin to willfully get tipsy? I know getting drunk is a sin, but am wondering about being tipsy. Is it venial? – Dawn

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: There is no one-size-fits-all answer in this case. Two key factors are the context in which you are drinking and how you define tipsy.

Deliberately drinking to the point were you lose the use of reason is objectively a grave sin.

If we define tipsy as the stage where a person still has use of reason but not firm control over her reflexes, then being tipsy could be a grave sin if she plans to drive a car or use dangerous equipment like a lawnmower.

Then again, if you are a single woman and have that extra drink when you are surrounded by heavily drinking men in a nightclub, that is another issue, too. Context counts.

Perhaps having an extra drink when one is securely at home might not be sinful. But again, this shouldn’t be seen as a one-size-fits-all answer. If you are taking care of young children, you need to think of their welfare first.

A person who has had a drinking problem in the past or who comes from family with a history of alcoholism would need to proceed with special caution.

Problematic, too, is if the tipsiness starts to become a pattern. The very fact that you ask whether getting tipsy is a sin might be a subtle warning. Be wary of using alcohol as a crutch.

A few positive questions are worth asking: “How can I drink responsibly, as befits my dignity as a daughter of God? And how can I give a good example to others in this area?”

Whatever you do, do for the glory of God.

 

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Jesus, the Bridegroom: a ministry – and a new podcast – that dives into the deepest relationship that you can have with God

Jesus, the Bridegroom: a ministry – and a new podcast – that dives into the deepest relationship that you can have with God

If you knew the way in which Jesus, the Bridegroom, looks at you, what would change?

 

A new initiative out of RC Dallas, that was born from the seeds of personal mission discovery and has blossomed into a series of monthly evenings of reflection, a weekend retreat, and now a podcast, delves into this intimate relationship that all women, regardless of vocation, are called to cultivate with Christ. Through the lens of women of scripture and the virtues they embody, this new ministry seeks to illuminate for young women the path to a deeper understanding of Jesus as the ultimate lover of their souls.

 

 

The idea for the ministry was born of the Regnum Christi Discover Your Personal Mission course, which consists of five weekly sessions guided by the Consecrated Women of Regnum Christi designed to help young women discover the gift and mission that they are, and how they are called to use these to make a difference in their own lives and an impact on the lives around them and in the world. It was through this course and the accompaniment of the Consecrated Women that Cathy Costigan, a member of the Regnum Christi young adult section in Dallas, began to develop her dream of starting a ministry dedicated to Jesus, the Bridegroom. In collaboration with Emma McClure, Cailee Hamblen, and Jillian Lim, the idea of a retreat that explores this intimate relationship with Jesus began to take real shape.

 

The retreat was originally planned for October of last year, but scheduling logistics required the team to push the event to March of 2024. This postponement turned out to be providential, as it allowed and inspired the team to host monthly “Magdala Nights” leading up to the retreat, during which each of the four team members gave a talk on four key feminine virtues: sensitivity, receptivity, generosity, and maternity. The talks were followed by small groups, and then adoration, which included praise music ministry, prayer teams, and confession. The retreat in March was thus a culmination of this nearly year-long exploration of the theme of Jesus as Bridegroom through the lens of women in scripture, particularly Mary Magdalene, the initiative’s patron saint.

 

The weekend retreat was held on March 22nd – 24th leading into Holy Week, and was designed to introduce young adult women, regardless of their various vocations and stages of life, to Jesus as their bridegroom in a way that was approachable, accessible, and real. One of the initial and core purposes of the bridegroom ministry that Cathy had envisioned is to spread the good news that no matter what vocation a woman is called to – married, single, or consecrated life – she is invited by Christ into this profound relationship with him as her beloved spouse.

 

The retreat weekend consisted of talks and small group discussions, as well as testimonies in which different women shared their own experiences with Jesus as Bridegroom, and the great impact this intimate relationship has had on their lives. Live praise music and prayer teams, and many beautiful surprises prepared for the young women in attendance, led into all-night adoration, concluding with benediction early Sunday morning. Consecrated Woman of Regnum Christi, Helen Yalbir, provided support and helped with much of the prep work for the retreat, and Legionary priests, Fr. Ben O’Loughlin and Fr. Greg Usselmann were there to hear confessions and celebrate Masses. Avery Collins provided music ministry.

 

For the retreat team, who were all living as roommates at the time when the initiative first began to take shape, it was important that this intimate relationship with Jesus as Bridegroom was introduced and fostered first and foremost through the intimacy of female friendship, which they themselves had experienced sharing a home together. “One of our goals was to extend the graces that we have received through our own friendship with each other, and giving the women the time to connect with each other and share the way that Jesus as Bridegroom was moving in their hearts helped to facilitate that,” says Cailee, who is the social media coordinator for the RC Dallas young adult section. “One of the young women who came to the retreat mentioned that it felt like an extension of our living room, and that was exactly what we were hoping for!”

 

 

After the retreat, Magdala Nights continued in April and May, and will start up again in the fall. And Cathy have Cailee have released a brand-new weekly podcast where they share Catholic teaching, Scripture, and their own personal experiences of Jesus as their own Bridegroom and lover of their souls. The title of the podcast, “if you knew…,” is derived from Jesus’ words to the Samaritan woman at the well:

“If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water” (cf. John 4:10).

“If we knew the way the bridegroom looks at us, everything would change,” says Cailee. “And it did, for me, in that moment of finally meeting the gaze of Jesus and seeing the total compassion, the total love, the total desire he had for me. This podcast is a fruit of our relationship with God, and a fruit of our ministry that is centered on having a deep relationship with Jesus. We want to dive into that relationship with Jesus, particularly as the bridegroom, because he has changed our lives.” Together, Cathy and Cailee explore topics like what is means to live in the gaze of Jesus the Bridegroom, the importance of having standards, especially in dating, and how these leads to a flourishing femininity, and even how to be mad at the Bridegroom when you’re experiencing the real frustrations of disappointment, distrust, and disbelief while waiting for God to fulfill the desires of your heart. “Regardless of your relationship status, or how well you know the faith already, Jesus the Bridegroom wants you. He is knocking at your heart, and we want to tell you that opening the door to Him is the best thing you could ever do.”

 

You can check out the “if you knew…” podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

 

To find out more about what’s happening in Regnum Christi Dallas, including their upcoming events for young adults, visit their website at rcdallas.com.

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The Sacred-Hearted Marriage

“Today you two received all the graces you’ll ever need to get through anything in your marriage.”

These are the words a friend told me on my wedding day, and, despite the busyness and emotion of the day, I distinctly remember them. At the time, I know I didn’t understand what she meant, and, had I understood, I doubt I would have believed them. I was a lapsed Catholic then, limping my way back to the Church, and not quite sure yet what to take as Truth. But I seem to have remembered those words, and stored them up, and pondered them somewhere deep in my heart.

The words have come up many times in my marriage of twenty-two years, when my husband and I have come up against some difficulty that we couldn’t imagine ever surmounting. Like when our young teenagers seemed to be drifting away from us. Or when we seemed to be drifting away from each other, and couldn’t envision ever being able to find our way back.

We did, though, thanks to prayer and hard, hard work, but mostly thanks to those graces that we received on our wedding day. We have called on them many times in twenty-two years, and they have not failed us yet.

And this is just one of twelve beautiful promises of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, revealed to St. Margaret Mary Alacoque between 1673 and 1675:

“I will give them all the graces necessary in their state of life.”

I apply this promise to my marriage confidently and constantly. But there’s another one of the twelve promises that stands out to me, at least as a wife:

“Lukewarm souls shall become fervent.”

This is a good promise for me to remember in my marriage; we’ve certainly had our times of tepidity, whether it was because we were exhausted from parenting little ones, cooped up in quarantine, or just because we’ve been together for twenty-five years.

But God never leaves us lukewarm, neither in our faith, nor our vocation to marriage; He is always ready to fan the flames of our love for our spouse and rekindle our compassion and kindness and cheer. As we celebrate the Sacred Heart of Jesus this month, I’m calling upon that promise in particular: that God will warm my heart when it becomes tepid, increase my thoughtfulness when I become thoughtless, and fan the flame to make me more fervent in my love.

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Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Uncle Eddy

St Quirinus of Croatia

Dear Linus,

The successes of your junior year are impressive.  No doubt I should be a proud uncle – from your perspective, at least.  The fact is, I’m not.  Even from this distance I can detect the slow but steady disintegration of your willpower.  Comfort, ease, popularity…  These subtle and seductive idols are making serious inroads in your soul as you bask in the glory of achievement.  I fear that your summer plans will only exacerbate the seduction.  Not that achievements are evil – on the contrary, you are duty-bound to make your talents bear fruit.  But that self-satisfied, smugly arrogant smile you’re wearing (I can see it even in your emails) can hardly be called Christian.  Shake it off, my prodigious young nephew, before it’s too late.  Maybe a glance at the authentic Christianity of today’s saint will wake you up.

Quirinus was an exemplary bishop who happened to live in Croatia (back then it was a province in Pannonia) at the time when the Roman Tetrarchy (surely you remember that from your history lessons) was on the rocks.  The Eastern Augustus was intent on doing away with the Christians, believing that this would somehow help pave the way for his hostile takeover of the rest of the divided Empire.  So all the government officials were ordered to purge the Christians from their lands: either they would burn incense to the Roman gods, or they would die.

When the edict arrived at Sisak, where Quirinus was bishop, he shook the dust from his feet and left the city (as per the Gospel injunction: “When they persecute in one city, go on to the next…).  But he was the Christian leader, and Maximus, the governing prelate, wanted to make an example of him.  The old bishop was therefore pursued, arrested and brought before Maximus.

The interrogation didn’t go very well, from the Roman’s perspective.  For every demand and argument of the Roman prelate, the Christian prelate issued a reply superior in both eloquence and courage.  Maximus then resorted to less sophisticated tactics, and had the aged priest beaten with clubs, a punishment carried out with excessive cruelty by the sadistic guards.  But even then the bishop stood firm.

So he was imprisoned.  He converted the guards.  So they moved him to a prison under the jurisdiction of the Pannonian Governor, Amantius, who had the power to sentence capital punishment.  After a trial held in a theatre, in which Quirinus resisted trickery, cajolery, and threats, humiliating the Governor as much has he had earlier humiliated Maximus, he was condemned to death by drowning.

They tied a millstone around his neck and, under the eyes of a vast crowd gathered to watch the execution, threw him into the river at Sabaria.  But miraculously, he didn’t sink.  Instead, he preached to the crowds for a long while, perched on top of the miraculously floating millstone, exhorting the Christians to keep the faith and at the same time giving powerful testimony of Christ’s faithfulness.  Only after he prayed to be allowed to offer his life as a martyr did the millstone take him under.

That, my bright young nephew, is a real Christian.  I suggest you contemplate his example and examine your conscience to see whether you haven’t been cutting corners on your own fidelity to the Lord.  As you do, you may find Quirinus’s words to Maximus right after his being beaten by clubs somewhat instructive (and inspirational):

“Quirinus replied [to Maximus]: ‘I am now performing the true function of a priest, in offering myself a sacrifice to the living God. I feel not the blows which my body has received: they give me no torment. I am ready to suffer much greater tortures, that they who have been committed to my charge may be encouraged to follow me to eternal life.’”

Your loving uncle,

Eddy

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Alex Kucera

Atlanta

Alex Kucera has lived in Atlanta, GA, for the last 46 years. He is one of 9 children, married to his wife Karmen, and has 3 girls, one grandson, and a granddaughter on the way. Alex joined Regnum Christi in 2007. Out of the gate, he joined the Helping Hands Medical Missions apostolate and is still participating today with the Ghana Friendship Mission.

In 2009, Alex was asked to be the Atlanta RC Renewal Coordinator for the Atlanta Locality to help the RC members with the RC renewal process. Alex became a Group Leader in 2012 for four of the Atlanta Men’s Section Teams and continues today. Running in parallel, in 2013, Alex became a Team Leader and shepherded a large team of good men.

Alex was honored to be the Atlanta Mission Coordinator between 2010 to 2022 (12 years), coordinating 5-8 Holy Week Mission teams across Georgia. He also created and coordinated missions at a parish in Athens, GA, for 9 years. Alex continues to coordinate Holy Week Missions, Advent Missions, and Monthly missions at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Cumming, GA.

From 2016 to 2022, Alex also served as the Men’s Section Assistant in Atlanta. He loved working with the Men’s Section Director, the Legionaries, Consecrated, and Women’s Section leadership teams.

Alex is exceptionally grateful to the Legionaries, Consecrated, and many RC members who he’s journeyed shoulder to shoulder, growing his relationship with Christ and others along the way. He knows that there is only one way, that’s Christ’s Way, with others!