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RC DAILY MEDITATIONS

May 28, 2024

Regnum Christi 2024 General Convention Rome Italy

“Ask a Priest: What If My Love Interest Expects to Sleep With Me?”

/ Regnum Christi News
Q: I recently met a man on online after being single and celibate for seven years. I have a list in my heart of what I am seeking in a spouse, and he checks every box, and I am pretty lovestruck. I am a cradle Catholic, and he is a fallen away Lutheran. He has secular views on sex before marriage. Even though he would consider marriage he expects sex during dating. I told him I can’t do that, and he said he respects my decision but that he isn’t going to change his mind. The problem is I like him so much I am worried that I won’t stand firm around him. I have wounds from my upbringing that drive me to be a people pleaser. If we are committed to each other, will it be sinful to sleep together? We live across state lines, so seeing each other involves staying the night. I want to do what’s right. I don’t want to live in sin. I love him and don’t want to lose him over this. Any advice on how to help him understand why it’s important to wait until marriage too? – E.

 

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC A: More importantly than being a people pleaser, your first concern should be pleasing Our Lord. God has a plan for sex, and it’s meant for unitive and procreative reasons within a marriage. What you describe triggers all kinds of danger signals. Your friend is secular and expects sex while dating “even though he would consider marriage.” He says he respects your decision about opposing sex outside marriage – but won’t “change his mind.” So, which is it? Is he willing to live chastely or not? Moreover, you are already thinking of spending the night at each other’s residence. Do you really think you could keep this man at a chaste distance if you are spending the night under the same roof? You already acknowledge that you will have a tough time standing up to him. Listen to yourself. You say that you are lovestruck. Given that the relationship seems mostly online at this point, the better word to describe your feelings might be infatuation. Real love takes time. Real love means wanting the best for someone. A man who genuinely loves you will want to help you grow in holiness and reach heaven. Nothing that you mention indicates that this man is even remotely thinking of your eternal salvation. Rather, he seems fixed on fornicating. Does he really “check every box” for you? You want to tread carefully. It is not uncommon for men to feign love in order to get sex from a woman. You don’t want to fall for that ploy. The happiest courtships and marriages have God at the center. If you want to pursue this relationship, a few suggestions might help. First, tell your friend that you intend to stay chaste. Tell him it’s a gift you can give each other. It will also give you time to get to know each other as friends. Let him know that you don’t want the both of you leading each other into  grave sin, which is offensive to God and puts your souls at risk. Tell him that you will perceive his respect if he stays in a hotel when visiting. If you live alone, you might insist on restricting your dates to public places. If he agrees, fine. But stay vigilant. If he balks at your conditions, that might be a sign he doesn’t really care about you. Men will make sacrifices for the women they love. In any case, it might be better to start cultivating a network of serious Catholic friends in your own area. Start attending Catholic events — talks, pro-life events, Theology of the Body classes, Bible studies, door-to-door missions, etc. Being around other Catholics could help you maintain balance with this online relationship. You would also improve your chance of finding someone who will respect you and your religious views. In the meantime, try to find a solid, regular confessor and/or spiritual director to guide you. You need an objective third party to help you. Isolation can make you vulnerable to opportunists. I hope some of this helps. Count on my prayers.   Keep learning more with Ask a Priest

Got a question? Need an answer?

Today’s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type your question HERE and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything – liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events… Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question…

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Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: What If My Love Interest Expects to Sleep With Me?”

/ Ask a Priest
Q: I recently met a man on online after being single and celibate for seven years. I have a list in my heart of what I am seeking in a spouse, and he checks every box, and I am pretty lovestruck. I am a cradle Catholic, and he is a fallen away Lutheran. He has secular views on sex before marriage. Even though he would consider marriage he expects sex during dating. I told him I can’t do that, and he said he respects my decision but that he isn’t going to change his mind. The problem is I like him so much I am worried that I won’t stand firm around him. I have wounds from my upbringing that drive me to be a people pleaser. If we are committed to each other, will it be sinful to sleep together? We live across state lines, so seeing each other involves staying the night. I want to do what’s right. I don’t want to live in sin. I love him and don’t want to lose him over this. Any advice on how to help him understand why it’s important to wait until marriage too? – E.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: More importantly than being a people pleaser, your first concern should be pleasing Our Lord.

God has a plan for sex, and it’s meant for unitive and procreative reasons within a marriage.

What you describe triggers all kinds of danger signals. Your friend is secular and expects sex while dating “even though he would consider marriage.”

He says he respects your decision about opposing sex outside marriage – but won’t “change his mind.” So, which is it? Is he willing to live chastely or not?

Moreover, you are already thinking of spending the night at each other’s residence. Do you really think you could keep this man at a chaste distance if you are spending the night under the same roof? You already acknowledge that you will have a tough time standing up to him. Listen to yourself.

You say that you are lovestruck. Given that the relationship seems mostly online at this point, the better word to describe your feelings might be infatuation.

Real love takes time. Real love means wanting the best for someone. A man who genuinely loves you will want to help you grow in holiness and reach heaven.

Nothing that you mention indicates that this man is even remotely thinking of your eternal salvation. Rather, he seems fixed on fornicating. Does he really “check every box” for you?

You want to tread carefully. It is not uncommon for men to feign love in order to get sex from a woman. You don’t want to fall for that ploy. The happiest courtships and marriages have God at the center.

If you want to pursue this relationship, a few suggestions might help.

First, tell your friend that you intend to stay chaste. Tell him it’s a gift you can give each other. It will also give you time to get to know each other as friends.

Let him know that you don’t want the both of you leading each other into  grave sin, which is offensive to God and puts your souls at risk.

Tell him that you will perceive his respect if he stays in a hotel when visiting. If you live alone, you might insist on restricting your dates to public places.

If he agrees, fine. But stay vigilant. If he balks at your conditions, that might be a sign he doesn’t really care about you. Men will make sacrifices for the women they love.

In any case, it might be better to start cultivating a network of serious Catholic friends in your own area. Start attending Catholic events — talks, pro-life events, Theology of the Body classes, Bible studies, door-to-door missions, etc.

Being around other Catholics could help you maintain balance with this online relationship. You would also improve your chance of finding someone who will respect you and your religious views.

In the meantime, try to find a solid, regular confessor and/or spiritual director to guide you. You need an objective third party to help you. Isolation can make you vulnerable to opportunists.

I hope some of this helps. Count on my prayers.

 

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Praying the Rosary Through the Gaze of Christ

Praying the Rosary Through the Gaze of Christ

/ Regnum Christi News, Weekly Message Blog

“My heart says to You, ‘Your face, Lord, do I seek.’ Hide not Your face from me.” (Psalm 27:8-9)

 

This was a passage that spoke to me out of the dryness I was experiencing at one spiritual exercises years ago. I had been struggling all weekend to connect with Christ, to no avail. Nothing seemed to be working, and as the end of the retreat drew nearer and nearer, I felt like I had wasted my time, not received any lights, and not succeeded in making the most of this silent retreat experience that only comes around for me once a year. On hearing this line from the psalms in the darkness of the chapel in the middle of the night, I closed my eyes and raised my face to God, allowing His gaze to simply fall on me. I left the retreat the next day with no resolutions, no answers to the questions I was discerning, nothing tangible to show for my weekend away, other than the utter transformation of having experienced the gaze of Christ, of having allowed myself to be truly seen.

 

This must be what St. John Vianney was referring to when he told this story:

 

“When I first came to Ars, there was a man who never passed the church without going in. In the morning on his way to work, and in the evening on his way home, he left his spade and pickaxe in the porch, and he spent a long time in adoration before the Blessed Sacrament. Oh, how I loved to see that! I asked him once what he said to Our Lord during the long visits he made to Him. Do you know what he told me? ‘Eh, Monsieur le Curé, I say nothing to Him; I look at Him and he looks at me!’”

 

Since that middle-of-the-night moment in the chapel when Christ invited me to gaze at Him, and to receive His loving gaze in return, I’ve tried to return to that simple yet powerful form of meditation described by the humble, holy man in St. John Vianney’s account: “I look at Him and he looks at me!” A way to do this in a concrete way is by praying the rosary through the gaze of Christ. 

 

As I pray each decade, I contemplate Christ in each mystery, and imagine myself receiving His (or His dear mother’s) loving gaze. This is sweet and lovely when I get to look into the eyes of the newborn Christ-child swaddled in His mother’s arms, but not quite so fun when I have to gaze into His eyes as He is scourged, or as He dies. But it’s always a powerful way to experience the mysteries of the rosary, particularly when I am seeking connection with Christ, and longing to be seen.

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Meet the Lay Members of Regnum Christi General Plenary Council

/ 2024 General Convention, Regnum Christi News, Weekly Message Blog

As announced on May 4th, in the final communique of the Regnum Christi General Convention, the 36 lay delegates at the General Convention elected the six lay members who will sit on the Regnum Christi General Plenary Council for the next six-year term. Those elected are: Cathie Zentner, Horacio Gómez, Cristina Regueira, Guillermo Narro, Maria Fioretta Bini Smaghi, and David Zárate.

 

The General Plenary Council assists the General Directive College, offering its consent or opinion when requested or when it is required according to the Statutes, thus supporting the College in the exercise of its authority. Their collaboration expresses the spirit of communion that characterizes Regnum Christi (SRCF 90 and 91). It is made up of all the General Councilors of the Legionaries of Christ, the Consecrated Women of Regnum Christi and the Lay Consecrated Men of Regnum Christi, as well as six lay members who participate with a consultative vote (EFRC 89).

Here are the six lay delegates:

 

Horacio Gomez – North American Territory

 

Horacio Gomez was born and raised in Guadalajara Mexico, where he attended a RC School and joined ECYD. He incorporated into Regnum Christi in 1996 and gave one year of service as an RC Mission Corps missionary in Madrid, Spain. In 2003 he moved to San Diego, California,  to study for a master’s degree, and in 2007 to Dallas, working professionally for Flextronics and Amazon. Due to work assignments, he lived for periods over six months in Hungary, China, Malaysia, and Brazil, experiencing the RC charism in different cultures. He is married to Luisa and is blessed with four young children, one of them already attending the Highlands School.  As an RC member, he cofounded the first “ECYD Clubs” in Guadalajara, Mexico (Club Forja and Club Sherpa) and has been a team leader, section director, and RC director in Dallas, Texas.  He is currently part of the Plenary Council of the North America Territory, supporting initiatives like the Leadership Evangelization Plan as well as some localities in the discernment of their plans. Over the last 10 years, he has been in charge of different apostolates (Marian Minute, Marian Steps) through the Marian Center of Dallas.

Cathie Zentner – North American Territory.

 

Cathie Zentner is from Canmore, Canada. She joined Regnum Christi in 1996, shortly after converting to the Catholic faith, and felt a strong calling to use her professional  management consulting experience and administrative skills to serve the mission. Over the past 27 years, she held various roles, including serving as principal of Colegio Himalaya in Monterrey, Mexico. Within the RC Calgary locality, she has served on the locality committee and at Clear Water Academy. At the Territorial level, Cathie served for six years as a team member of RC Education (formerly known as National Consultants for Education), four years as the director of a Regnum Christi school in Monterrey, Mexico, and six years in territorial administration. For the last seven years, she has been supporting the territory’s governing body  as Territorial Secretary, and was recently named Territorial Directive College Delegate until June 1st, 2024. In this capacity, she has worked with the Mission Support Team to serve members and localities across the territory. Cathie is married to Clark and the mother of two adult daughters.

 

Guillermo Narro – Territory of Mexico and Central America.

 

Guillermo lives in Mexico City, Mexico, and joined Regnum Christi in 2006. He has been a team leader since 2013 and was an RC Mission Corps missionary in Santiago de Chile in 2015, where he met his wife. He has served in the formation of young men and young professionals, as well as in business and family apostolates.

 

Cristina Regueira – Territory of Colombia-Venezuela.

 

Cristina is from Caracas, Venezuela. She was a member of ECYD, and served as a missionary both with ECYD Mission Corps and RC Mission Corps for two years. She joined Regnum Christi in 2006. Cristina has served as assistant for the locality, and in apostolates of the youth section in Caracas. She currently works in the Life and Mission area of the RC General Directorate, with the pastoral care of young people and international apostolates. At the territorial level, she provides support to the apostolates in the territory of Colombia-Venezuela, and in the formation of formators.

 

Maria Fioretta Bini Smaghi – Territory of Italy.

 

Maria Fioretta began her journey to Regnum Christi in 2008 in Milan, Italy, in one of the first ECYD groups to be formed there. She has seen Regnum Christi grow in her city, with more and more people willing to commit themselves to the service of the Church. In the same way, she has grown with Regnum Christi, participating in various apostolates and missions. Since 2016, he has been responsible for Angeli per un Giorno (Angel for a Day) in Milan, and for the last three years, she has been part of the Local Directive College.

David Zárate – Northern Territory of Mexico.

 

David is from Monterrey, Mexico. He joined ECYD in 1995, and joined Regnum Christi in 2001. He was a missionary with RC Mission Corps from 2005-2006 in southern Italy. He has had the opportunity to participate in the entire process of renewal of Regnum Christi since 2014, in the local, territorial and general phases. David is currently a group leader in the men’s section in Monterrey, and since September 2019 he has been a lay member of the General Plenary Council of Regnum Christi. He is married and runs a business.

 

Additionally, the final communiqué of the General Convention thanked the lay members who served on the General Plenary Council during the first years of the Regnum Christi Federation: Francisco Gámez-Arcaya, Álvaro Abellán-García, Carmen Fernández, Kerrie Rivard, José Antonio Lebrija and David Zárate. Their contribution helped to lay the foundations for the identity and participation of the lay members in the charism of Regnum Christi at the very beginning of the Federation.

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Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Uncle Eddy

St Germanus of Paris

/ Uncle Eddy

Dear Gilbert,

Just because this year’s evangelizing efforts didn’t produce as many visible results as last year’s is no reason to pout.  Progress from God’s point of view is often not the same as progress from our point of view.  Do you trust in God?  Then be objective in your analysis: if you can improve your strategy or tactics in your program for next year, do so, and leave the fruits of this year in the hands of Providence.  I know it’s not so easy to do.  You really wanted to increase attendance at Mass and at your mid-week Catholic Study Circle, and you didn’t.  You are disappointed.  That’s fine.  I would expect you to be.  But don’t let it knock you off course.  Maybe the example of today’s saint will help keep things in perspective.

Germanus showed a lively interest in the spiritual life as a youth (he grew up in central France, near Autun), and discerned his vocation to the priesthood, which he pursued with eager dedication.  His was soon made abbot of a nearby monastery, an office he fulfilled prodigiously.

A few years into it, he dreamt one night that an old man put into his hands the keys to the city of Paris, admonishing him to take care of the people of that city.  He thought nothing of it at the time.  But sometime later he found himself in that all-important French city, precisely when its bishop died.  He was appointed successor, in spite of his tearful entreaties to the contrary.

Throughout the next 32 years he filled Paris (and all of France) with the light of authentic sanctity.  His residence swarmed with the poor and destitute, whom he always served – even at this own table (and he would feed their souls as well as their stomachs, having a good spiritual book read aloud during meals).  And his preaching moved countless sinners to repentance, turning the dissolute urban environment into a truly Christian culture.  In fact, St Germanus was God’s primary instrument in the moral reform of King Childebert I, one of the four royal sons of Clovis.

Germanus turned the lascivious Childebert into a model Christian ruler, who endowed France with many of the monasteries and churches that steadily churned out saints for the next few hundred years.

Unfortunately, however, Childebert didn’t live too long (even though Germanus miraculously cured him from a mysterious illness).  His successor, his brother Clothair, gave a rather cold welcome to the holy bishop, until he too was miraculously cured by Germanus’s intercession.  From then on, Clothair too ruled as a Christian king ought to (he also reunited France under one monarch).

But Germanus outlived him as well, and Clothair’s four sons once more divided the Kingdom.  Thus ensued one of the more shameful chapters of French history, in which the envy, greed, and lust that characterized these brothers and their wives wreaked moral havoc on the burgeoning Frankish people.  And nothing Germanus did could stop it.  Even his miracles couldn’t penetrate their moral destitution.  By the time the saint died, Paris had returned to its licentious ways.

If even such a remarkable saint only batted around .500, why do you expect to bat 1.000?  You are just one soldier on the great battlefield of history.  Do your best to defend and extend your parcel of the Kingdom, and leave the overall results up to the Commander-in-Chief.

Your loving uncle,

Eddy

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NADA para TODO

/ Weekly Message

The path of nothing in order to win everything.

Dear Friends,

Recently I have been reading Saint John of the Cross’ Ascent of Mount Carmel. His classic spiritual works never fail to offer perennial nuggets of wisdom that speak to the universal human condition. The heart is insatiable. How do we feed it? In this work he insists that we do all in our power to purify our attachments to anything and everything that inhibits or hinders our journey to union with God. He proposes a purposeful entry into the active nights of sense and spirit, a path of NADA para TODO. His program consists of emptying one’s self of sensory indulgences, images, memories, desires and affections that stifle the true flame of charity for God and neighbor. Far from dehumanizing one’s potential, this project of life strives to put all one’s strength into a single-minded purpose: a death to the old self so as to dispose one’s self to true union with the Lord. The Ascent is an adventure into the night of faith. In chapter 31, John illustrates God’s pedagogy through Mary Magdalene’s experience on Easter Sunday. First, the Lord allowed her to witness the empty tomb, an invitation to believe without seeing. God’s mercy strengthens our faith when His felt presence eludes us. Second, the angels speak. Faith comes through hearing. God invites a deeper listening to the undercurrents of his divine providence. The angel’s words quicken her heart in hope, like a small light in the darkness. It encourages her to continue her search for the Lord, despite feeling that her foundations of security were ripped out from under her. When Mary finally recognizes the presence of the Lord, her heart is warmed, enkindling her love for him. But she is quickly sent, ordered to not cling to him. God invites us to an even greater faith, hope and love that denies one’s self the security even of supernatural gifts. He launches us into a mode of self-gift, a type of participation in his own kenosis. As we approach June, the month dedicated to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, let us examine our own hearts, asking the Lord for the grace of single-mindedness and single-heartedness. “Cut the strings” that allow the heart to take flight into a new way of seeing, desiring and loving. From the profound experience of poverty of spirit is born reverence, wonder and gratitude. Far from possessing nothing (NADA), we receive all (TODO) we need. We now “possess God” in faith, hope and charity. The theological virtues become our predominant mode of being. And in the likeness of Christ, we become more fully human. Wishing you a blessed month of the Sacred Heart, Jennifer Ristine Author of “Mary Magdalene, Insights from Ancient Magdala” and “Nine Days with Mary Magdalene“

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Alex Kucera

Atlanta

Alex Kucera has lived in Atlanta, GA, for the last 46 years. He is one of 9 children, married to his wife Karmen, and has 3 girls, one grandson, and a granddaughter on the way. Alex joined Regnum Christi in 2007. Out of the gate, he joined the Helping Hands Medical Missions apostolate and is still participating today with the Ghana Friendship Mission.

In 2009, Alex was asked to be the Atlanta RC Renewal Coordinator for the Atlanta Locality to help the RC members with the RC renewal process. Alex became a Group Leader in 2012 for four of the Atlanta Men’s Section Teams and continues today. Running in parallel, in 2013, Alex became a Team Leader and shepherded a large team of good men.

Alex was honored to be the Atlanta Mission Coordinator between 2010 to 2022 (12 years), coordinating 5-8 Holy Week Mission teams across Georgia. He also created and coordinated missions at a parish in Athens, GA, for 9 years. Alex continues to coordinate Holy Week Missions, Advent Missions, and Monthly missions at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Cumming, GA.

From 2016 to 2022, Alex also served as the Men’s Section Assistant in Atlanta. He loved working with the Men’s Section Director, the Legionaries, Consecrated, and Women’s Section leadership teams.

Alex is exceptionally grateful to the Legionaries, Consecrated, and many RC members who he’s journeyed shoulder to shoulder, growing his relationship with Christ and others along the way. He knows that there is only one way, that’s Christ’s Way, with others!