Q: My mom and I go to my grandparents’ house every week. My grandma is 90 years old, has survived three strokes and now has dementia. Is it normal for me to feel like I am mourning the grandma I once knew? Her personality is so different. Could God heal my grandma? It is heartbreaking to see her suffer. Please pray for her. – M.
Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC
A: I’m sorry to hear about your grandmother.
One of the downsides of improved medicine is that, because people live longer, their health tends to deteriorate in more dramatic and prolonged ways.
It’s understandable that you feel as though you have lost the grandmother you once knew. Yet, she is certainly the same person, the same beloved daughter of God.
This is a moment when you can show your love by your ongoing acts of love toward her, even though she might not be able to respond as you would like.
In fact, this is a moment when your love for her can be purified. You might not get the same feedback that you would have in the past. That’s OK; your love is a powerful witness. It tells those around you that Grandma still has incomparable value in your eyes.
Could God heal her? Anything is possible. But he might prefer to use the situation as a chance for all the family to rally around your grandmother. Which could be a path toward holiness for all of you.
Father Christopher Hart, a young New York priest and classic film buff, is unwittingly drafted by the mob to hear the confession of a man slated for execution. Playing a key role in the White Death—a mafia ritual in which a person condemned to death is allowed to confess his sins before he’s killed – was not one of the duties he expected when he became a first-time pastor. Should he just do his job and collaborate with the mob for the sake of souls, or find a way to stop the violence?
This is the premise of Death in Black and White: A Novel, the first book written by Fr. Michael Brisson, LC. This riveting page-turner will entertain, but it will also drive the reader to grapple with important themes such as identity, purpose, justice, sin, and, ultimately, redemption.
Writing has always been an important part of Fr. Michael’s life – he began writing fiction when he was just a teenager, coming home from his job making pizzas at Domino’s and staying up writing short stories on his computer until three in the morning. But when, in 1995 after graduating high school, he entered the novitiate of the Legionaries of Christ in Cheshire, Connecticut, he found it difficult to make time for his passion for writing short fiction within his busy life of studies and apostolate. It wasn’t until many years later, when fellow Legionary priests, Fr. John Connor and Fr. Daniel Brandenburg, who is a published author himself, asked Fr. Michael when he was finally going to write a book. Persistently challenged by these fellow priests, and reminded of the Parable of the Talents (and the servant who buried his single talent in the ground out of fear of losing it rather than investing and multiplying it), Fr. Michael decided to sit down and write a book.
Immediately, Fr. Michael knew he didn’t want to write a spiritual non-fiction. “I’m a storyteller, not an academic,” says Fr. Michael. “I knew I didn’t want to write a spiritual book, because there are so many spiritual books that have already been written, that already say things so well, and I need to read those before I can write my own!” But when he started thinking of his own life, his own experiences as a priest, and the many times he had witnessed God’s light shining into the darkest corners of humanity, particularly through the sacrament of confession, a story began to take shape. Inspired by his favourite authors growing up, like Stephen King, H.P. Lovecraft, and Edgar Allen Poe, Fr. Michael began by writing a collection of short stories based on these experiences from his own life, and of other priests he knew.
The first vignette Fr. Michael wrote centered around an elderly lady that he had met, who had been lovingly and faithfully married to a paranoid schizophrenic for 60 years. The second story was a fictional account inspired by a true story told to him by a friend, in which a priest is brought to an abandoned farmhouse by a mafia member to hear the confession of a young man about to be executed.
Before Fr. Michael realized, and as he continued writing, these two stories became connected and took on a life of their own, and the book he would write was not a collection of short stories, but a novel that follows the saga of a young New York priest who has become the unwitting confessor to the mob.
But under the drama and suspense of the novel’s story lies a message that Fr. Michael has seen played out time and again in the confessional: “God uses every event in our lives, no matter how tragic or sinful, to lead us back to him, and everyone, no matter how dark their life is, can be saved. As St. John says, ‘the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it’ (John 1:5). The light of grace can penetrate any darkness.”
Although he is quick to reiterate that the priest in the novel is not based on himself, many of the protagonist’s experiences are drawn from the encounters of God’s mercy and forgiveness that Fr. Michael has had in his own life as a priest, particularly in the confessional, and it is these powerful moments that continue to inspire him not only as a writer, but in his vocation as a priest. “I love hearing confessions – the bigger the sins, the better! Saying those words, ‘I absolve you,’ and watching the joy on the face of the sinner, the one who hasn’t been to confession in 50 years, the one who has been carrying that burden of sin around, never able to fly – with those few words and the sign of the cross, he is unfettered and lifting off the ground, tears of joy streaming down his face. What could be better?”
And although Death in Black and White is a work of fiction, it conveys the true story of God’s redemptive love, in a way that speaks to readers and invites a personal response. “The unique advantage of fiction is that you can plumb the depths of human experience in a way that allows the reader to grapple with issues freely, without – if you do it right – feeling lectured or cajoled. If done well, telling a ‘true story’ (true in the metaphysical, not factual, sense) can be fun, exciting, and interesting, but also deep, real, and poignant.”
In addition to hoping that people find Death in Black and White to be an enjoyable and entertaining read, Fr. Michael also hopes that readers come away with a renewed belief that God is always ready to forgive them, no matter how many times they mess up, and that even in their sin, God can use them to bring about a greater good. “I hope people realize there’s hope for everyone. We just need to do God’s will as it is presented to us in this moment, and let God be God.”
Fr. Michael was ordained a Legionary priest on December 12, 2009, in Rome at the Basilica of St. Paul Outside the Walls. As his first assignment he was named superior of the territorial directorate community in New York and director of the Regnum Christi men’s and women’s sections. From 2010 to 2013 he was local coordinator of apostolate for New York and superior of the Legionary community in Thornwood, New York. From 2013 he has served as territorial secretary for the North American Territory, superior of the Legionary community in Cumming, Georgia, and chaplain for the Consecrated Women of Regnum Christi in Atlanta. He is currently serving as a general councillor of the Legionaries of Christ, and working on his second novel.
Death in Black and White is available for sale on Amazon on May 17.
Without a doubt, winning membership in Phi Beta Kappa as a junior is commendable. But I have to tell you that I am not surprised. Just remember amid your glee that your extraordinary intelligence and the good study habits that are allowing it to flower are due not to your own merit, but to God’s graciousness and your parents’ wisdom. And also remember that getting good grades, though important, is not the end-all and be-all of life – at least, not for a Christian. On that note, you may find it useful to reflect on the life of today’s saint.
Antonia was the second of ten children born to a peasant family on the Island of Sardinia, off the west coast of Italy. She grew up between World War I and II, when education was being made available even for the poorest of children. But after just four years of school, she was forced to leave her studies behind so that she could take over the housekeeping for her mother, who had been confined to bed by a painful heart condition. She accepted this hardship humbly and joyfully.
Antonia didn’t let either her lack of education or her poverty keep her from loving Christ. When she was ten, she joined Catholic Action, Italy’s national apostolic movement for lay people. She was a model member, and energetically fulfilled her commitments and recruited other young people to join the group. As she continued to work and to build up the Church, she was exercising all the Christian virtues – to honor Christ and live in friendship with him was her first care and her first priority.
On one afternoon when she was 16, she went out to gather wood for the stove at home. Alone, she was accosted by another, older teenager, a boy who tried to rape her. She resisted, and he beat her. She continued to resist, and he continued to beat her, trying to force her submission. But she knew that her body was a Temple of the Holy Spirit, and she would not submit. The would-be rapist’s anger grew into fury, and he beat her to death.
Antonia is a beatified saint. She was faithful to her Lord, and her virtue has infused (and continues to infuse) strength and grace into the Church. That, my bright young nephew, is a life worth living, however brief – notwithstanding the unfortunate fact that she barely even knew how to read. I encourage you to follow in her footsteps, always keeping first things first, regardless of Phi Beta Kappa pins and parties.
After Jesus had revealed himself to his disciples and eaten breakfast with them, he said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” Simon Peter answered him, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my lambs.” He then said to Simon Peter a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Simon Peter answered him, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Tend my sheep.” He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was distressed that he had said to him a third time, “Do you love me?” and he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep. Amen, amen, I say to you, when you were younger, you used to dress yourself and go where you wanted; but when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” He said this signifying by what kind of death he would glorify God. And when he had said this, he said to him, “Follow me.”
Introductory Prayer: Lord, I believe in you and all that you have revealed for our salvation. I hope in you because of your overflowing mercy. Every single act of yours on this earth demonstrated your love for us. Your ascent into heaven before the eyes of the Apostles inspires my hope of one day joining you there. I love you and wish you to be the center of my life.
Petition: Lord, help me to respond with love to your self-giving love.
“Do You Love Me?” The moment for which Christ has been preparing ever since his Resurrection has arrived. He is alone with Peter. Their last encounter before Jesus’ death was that sad occasion when Christ looked at Peter, forgiving him after his threefold denial. Now Christ takes Peter a little apart from the others and gives him the opportunity to affirm a threefold pledge of his love. The one supreme condition for Christ to renew Peter’s commission to tend his sheep is Peter’s love for his Master. Love is the one supreme condition for each of us who aspires to be an apostle. Peter’s love has been purified by his betrayal of Christ during the Passion: It has been chastened and humbled. Now Peter entrusts everything—even his love—into Christ’s hands: “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” Do my failures enable me to love Christ more, with greater trust?
“Can Love Be Commanded?” Pope Benedict XVI posed a provocative question in his first encyclical, Deus Caritas Est (God is Love). How can Christ demand love from us in order for us to be his followers, his apostles? In other words, “Love cannot be commanded; it is ultimately a feeling that is either there or not, nor can it be produced by the will” (n. 16). The response to this apparent quandary is twofold. In the first place, love can be commanded because it has first been given. “God does not demand of us a feeling which we ourselves are incapable of producing. He loves us, he makes us see and experience his love, and since he has ‘loved us first,’ love can also blossom as a response within us” (n. 17). In the second place, “it is clearly revealed that love is not merely a sentiment. Sentiments come and go. A sentiment can be a marvelous first spark, but it is not the fullness of love” (n. 17).
“Love in Its Most Radical Form”: What, then, is the essence of love, that love which Christ first gave to us and which he in turn demands of us as his followers? “It is characteristic of a mature love that it calls into play all man’s potentialities; it engages the whole man, so to speak. Contact with the visible manifestations of God’s love can awaken within us a feeling of joy born of the experience of being loved. But this encounter also engages our will and our intellect. Acknowledgment of the living God is one path towards love, and the ‘yes’ of our will to his will unites our intellect, will and sentiments in the all-embracing act of love” (Deus Caritas Est, 17). As Pope Saint John Paul the Great has phrased it so many times, true love is the gift of one’s entire self.
Conversation with Christ: Thank you, Lord, for helping me to see, through Pope Saint John Paul the Great and Pope Benedict XVI, the meaning of authentic love. Thank you for your limitless love for me. Your love is the standard to which my own poor love must rise.
Resolution: I will give myself to Christ today in acts of love that embrace my whole person: intellect, will, and sentiments.
Alex Kucera has lived in Atlanta, GA, for the last 46 years. He is one of 9 children, married to his wife Karmen, and has 3 girls, one grandson, and a granddaughter on the way. Alex joined Regnum Christi in 2007. Out of the gate, he joined the Helping Hands Medical Missions apostolate and is still participating today with the Ghana Friendship Mission.
In 2009, Alex was asked to be the Atlanta RC Renewal Coordinator for the Atlanta Locality to help the RC members with the RC renewal process. Alex became a Group Leader in 2012 for four of the Atlanta Men’s Section Teams and continues today. Running in parallel, in 2013, Alex became a Team Leader and shepherded a large team of good men.
Alex was honored to be the Atlanta Mission Coordinator between 2010 to 2022 (12 years), coordinating 5-8 Holy Week Mission teams across Georgia. He also created and coordinated missions at a parish in Athens, GA, for 9 years. Alex continues to coordinate Holy Week Missions, Advent Missions, and Monthly missions at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Cumming, GA.
From 2016 to 2022, Alex also served as the Men’s Section Assistant in Atlanta. He loved working with the Men’s Section Director, the Legionaries, Consecrated, and Women’s Section leadership teams.
Alex is exceptionally grateful to the Legionaries, Consecrated, and many RC members who he’s journeyed shoulder to shoulder, growing his relationship with Christ and others along the way. He knows that there is only one way, that’s Christ’s Way, with others!