May 23, 2023

Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: How often can I go to confession?”

Q: Can a person go to confession every week even if they have no mortal sins? Can a person still go and confess venial sins? Or do you need to include one mortal sin from the past? Is it an abuse of the sacrament if you go to confession more than once a week or every week? Is it good to confess temptations, especially the ones you are struggling with? -P.B.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Your desire to take advantage of the sacrament of reconciliation (also called the sacrament of confession, or the sacrament of penance) is admirable. Unfortunately, many people neglect this great means of receiving God’s grace.

Let’s take your questions one by one. First, it isn’t necessary to have a mortal sin in order to go to confession. One of the fruits of frequent reception of the sacrament, in fact, is to help us avoid sin and especially mortal sin. It is enough to confess venial sins, if that is all a person is aware of having committed.

But let’s qualify that last sentence. The Catechism of the Catholic Church, in No. 1458, says, “Without being strictly necessary, confession of everyday faults (venial sins) is nevertheless strongly recommended by the Church. Indeed the regular confession of our venial sins helps us form our conscience, fight against evil tendencies, let ourselves be healed by Christ and progress in the life of the Spirit.” Still, a confession is valid even if someone doesn’t mention all his venial sins.

Nor is it necessary to mention a mortal sin from the past, so long as the sin was previously confessed and absolved. A penitent does, however, have to mention mortal sins that he forgot to confess previously. (If a penitent deliberately withholds mention of a mortal sin, then the sacrament is invalid and the sin of sacrilege is added to the guilt.)

Mentioning a mortal sin already forgiven can lead a penitent to a deeper appreciation for God’s mercy. But here we should be cautious. If mentioning past sins brings undue anxiety, or if it springs from scrupulosity, that is not good. It is better to leave such sins in the past. Jesus doesn’t want us to beat up on ourselves needlessly. He completely forgets our past sins that we have sincerely confessed, and he wants us to do the same.

Let’s turn to your question about frequent confession. Weekly reception of the sacrament is praiseworthy, especially for a lay person. (It is the recommended norm in many religious congregations.) In principle, a person could approach the sacrament even more frequently. But here it is important that a person isn’t doing this because of scrupulosity. Some basically good people might fear that the sins from the last confession weren’t forgiven. Or they might think that they are constantly falling into mortal sin and need to go to confession every few days. A person who commits a mortal sin should, of course, try to go to confession as soon as possible. In most cases, though, weekly confession suffices very well for a lay person with a healthy spiritual life.

Someone who feels the need to go to confession every few days might want to consider doing so with the same (solid) priest. That would give the confessor a chance to know the penitent and to look for signs of scrupulosity or other problems that might require special attention.

A penitent is free to mention temptations, although this is optional. Temptations — those that weren’t brought on by some fault of ours — are not the same as sins. Mentioning temptations can help for several reasons. First, it might bring comfort to the penitent, who comes away from the sacrament with an even deeper sense of having opened his soul to Jesus. Second, mentioning a temptation can help weaken its power, since talking openly about a problem can be half its solution. Also, it gives the confessor a chance to recommend additional aids to the penitent.

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Highlights from the ECYD Middle School Boys National Tournament, and the Upcoming ECYD Summer Camps!

“Do you not know that the runners in the stadium all run in the race, but only one wins the prize? Run so as to win.” (1 Corinthians 9:24)

This was the inspiration for the theme of this year’s ECYD Middle School Boys National Tournament – “Run so as to win!” The tournament was held February 17th-20th at Sacred Heart Apostolic School in Rolling Prairie, Indiana, and over the weekend, ECYD members and teams from around North America participated in ECYD’s national winter games and competed in tournaments to take the gold home to their cities. This year, seven teams of boys in 5th-8th grade from Louisiana, Georgia, Ohio, Kentucky, Indiana, Illinois, New York, and Florida gathered to play in tournaments that included basketball, football, fubito, floor hockey, handball, and dodgeball. They also participated in a live Clue Action game and a manhunt, and spent an entire day downhill skiing. The tournament weekend concluded with Mass and the ECYD Pledge of Friendship Ceremony, during which the boys renewed their Pledge of Friendship with Christ, and one boy made the pledge for the first time.

The tournament was run by Fr. Patrick O’Loughlin, LC, who is the director of ECYD Life Department, and Brother Joseph Geiger, LC, the Assistant ECYD Director in Atlanta. “I love seeing the boys grow up and arriving to compete with fresh energy and more maturity each year, deepening their friendship with Christ and other boys from around the country,” says Fr. Patrick. “This year Indiana took home the gold – it was fantastic to see their hard work, team work and great sportsmanship throughout!”
You can check out all the fun the boys had at the ECYD Middle School Boys National Tournament in this video posted by Fr. Jaime Lorenzo, LC, who serves as the ECYD Director in New Orleans, Baton Rouge, Lafayette, and on the Northshore.

And although this year’s national tournament has come and gone, the ECYD summer camps are fast approaching!

Upcoming Girls ECYD Camps
Girls ECYD Camps are unique experiences for girls from 5th-12th grade to grow in their Catholic faith and make lasting friendships. At camp, girls ages 10-18 will have the opportunity to participate in a variety of activities and will enjoy prayer and spiritual growth through participation in Mass and Confession. Sports, games, workshops, team dynamics, exciting night activities, swimming, and fun in the sun, are typical ECYD camp activities. There are over a dozen ECYD Girls summer camps happening in 11 different states in June and July:
Challenge Camp will be held at Camp Cho-Yeh in Livingston, Texas June 13th-16th. Email Carrie Frain for more information.

Challenge 5th/6th Grade Camp 2 is being held at Camp River Ridge in Oldenburg, Indiana, and will feature bonfires, creeking, and horseback riding.

Washington, DC is hosting two ECYD Girls camps this summer: LTP Girls Day Camp: Daughters of the King is a half-day camp that will run June 19th-23rd and is geared towards girls in 2nd-5th grade, while ECYD Summer Camp  is an overnight camp on June 25th-30th for 5th-9th grade girls and 10th-12th grade leaders.

ECYD Summer Camp Tekakwitha 1.0 takes place June 19th-24th at Bocamb Farms in Convington, Louisiana for girls going into 5th-8th grade. Camp Tekakwitha is a story camp allowing the participants to enter into the life of St. Kateri Tekakwitha of the Mohawks, learning about her lifestyle as a Native American in upstate New York in the second half of the 17th Century, her journey of discovery of the faith through the French “Black Robes,” and the development of her friendship with Jesus Christ. This year’s formation theme is Friendship with Christ and Love for the Eucharist.

Visit challengeyouthministry.com for more information about these camps, and about the camps scheduled for July.

Upcoming Boys ECYD Camps
Boys ECYD Camps are for boys in 5th-12th grade and are focused on spiritual development as well as leadership skills. There are over 25 camp locations each summer, providing boys with a unique experience of “Forging them in Virtue” with fun and adventure. Participants will have the opportunity to participate in a variety of sports, games, formative activities, spiritual talks, and prayer and the sacraments.

The first ECYD camp of the summer is the Leadership Camp at Camp Bocamb in Convington, which is happening May 30th-June 3rd. Registration for this camp closes on May 28th. Argentus Summer Camp 2023, held at the same location, will run June 5th-11th, and Argentus Day Camp, for boys entering 1st-4th grades, will be held June 27th-30th.

Camp Atlantas will be held in Jasper, Georgia on June 1st-June 10th.  Campers will enter the realm of Atlantas as squires and members of the six Houses of Atlantas, learn skills and powers from the Atlantan Knights themselves, and forge themselves as friends and apostles of Jesus Christ intent on building up and defending his Kingdom right here in the Southeast. This unique camp features medieval-style tournaments and sports, camping, hikes, wildlife skills, and even swordplay!

Dallas is hosting two camps this year: ECYD Summer Camp, Samurai – Honor & Brotherhood on June 4th-9th, and DFW Day Camp 2023 – Brotherhood on June 12th-16th.
Sacred Heart Apostolic School in Rolling Prairie, Indiana will be hosting a day camp called Camp Cristero on June 11th-16th. Contact Fr. Robert DeCesare for more information.
Camp Cincinnatus at Camp River Ridge in Oldenburg, Indiana has several camps running this summer, including a Boys Summer Camp June 11th-16th.

Fr. Andrew Gronotte, LC, will be hosting a Summer Leadership Course at the Georgia Institute of Technology in Atlanta on June 11th-17th. Contact Fr. Andrew for more information.
For more information about these camps, or the many camps being held in July and August, visit https://conquestyouthministry.com/camps/.

Highlights from the ECYD Middle School Boys National Tournament, and the Upcoming ECYD Summer Camps! Read More »

Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: How Should We Handle a Difficult Couple in the Parish?”

Q: There is a couple (let’s call them James and Mary) who are involved in our parish with various activities. When it comes to getting a program or event going, they like to do things their way. There have been many times when they would say something like, “No, we shouldn’t do it like that, here’s what we should do.” I get the feeling they know better how things should be done even when others suggest something. Yes, they have shared some good points as to why it should be done their way; however, their “method” of sharing that point sometimes makes it difficult for others. Also, Mary has the tendency to go on for a long time, especially when speaking on the phone. If she calls my wife, we both are hesitant to pick it up, because we know it could go on for an hour. Additionally, Mary and James can be very critical of others, especially going behind others’ backs. Our daughters are friends with their only daughter, but at times their daughter can be like her mother, very critical of others. I know I should be patient and forgiving of them, just like Jesus. But I know myself — I can become aggravated or upset if I converse with them for too long, and that could lead to bad things. My wife says I need to change and understand they are no better than us. I’m sure they have criticized us to others behind our backs. So, what is the best approach here? I want to do what is right, but at the same time being with them is very difficult to keep myself at peace. – J.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: I’m sorry to hear about the situation. Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon for friction and disunity to plague even the most active parishes.

We could approach this question from two angles.

The first is how to deal with a couple who seem strong-willed and opinionated. Such people, if pointed in the right direction, can do a lot of good.

An initial step is to face into the situation with charity, thinking the best of everyone, and wanting the good of everyone in the parish.

Whether the couple have official duties in the parish or just get volunteer a lot, it might be better for the pastor to help guide them.

You might think about approaching him discreetly. This wouldn’t be gossip but rather a legitimate way to share concerns with someone in authority who could help fix the situation.

Or, if you think it more appropriate, you and your wife might consider approaching the spouses separately (you with the husband, your spouse with the other wife), mentioning that you admire their interest and work for the parish, but that you are concerned their constant criticism undercuts efforts to build up the community.

You would be taking a chance, of course. The couple might turn on you.

On the other hand, a bit of fraternal correction done in a spirit of charity might help to turn the corner.

Before approaching them, you might want to intensify your prayers for the couple. Helpful, too, might be a look at Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High.

If all this fails, and if you and your wife to decide to keep your distance from the couple, you should still be charitable and try to collaborate with them, when possible, for the benefit of the parish. And keep the prayers coming.

 

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Faith Pondered

Dear Friends,

In this month of Mary, I wanted to offer reflections on the Annunciation and faith from a retreat I gave early this month. I hope you are blessed by these reflections.

Mary’s faith began based on her knowledge of God’s faithfulness to her people. She believed that God is faithful. All the stories she heard growing up tell of God’s faithfulness: Noah and the Ark, Abraham and Sarah, Jacob who became Israel, Joseph who became pharaoh’s right hand, Moses who brought the Israelites to the Promised Land, David, Solomon, the lives of the prophets. She also surely based this faith on her parents’ faith in God and all that they had told her. Mary’s faith at the beginning of her life was based on what she knew of God’s faithfulness to others.

The “let it be done to me” (Lk. 1:38) she spoke at the Annunciation was a consent to let God do through her as she heard he did through others. This is what struck Elizabeth so much that she commented on it, “Blessed are you who believed that what was spoken to you by the Lord would be fulfilled” (Lk. 1:45).

Mary had to deal with obstacles to her faith right away: she was pregnant and engaged, but the baby was not her husband’s. She kept her claim to be mother of the Messiah quiet. The very people she could usually rely on for safety and protection were those who could also legitimately condemn her. In this situation, only God could be her protector, and he was. Elizabeth’s infant leapt in her womb and was filled with the Holy Spirit. Joseph had dreams.

If the Annunciation was just Mary’s hallucination, it would have swiftly been put to rights. Instead, all obstacles were overcome, because she kept believing that the one who called her would faithfully fulfill His promises. Her faith was confirmed, over and over, because she took the risk to believe that it would. She no longer believed only because of others’ faith, but through her own experience.

While many external factors could contradict faith, it never seemed to me that Mary had internal contradictions with her faith. She did have questions; however, they didn’t seem to contradict her faith: “How can this be, since I have no relations with a man?”( Lk. 1:34). “Son, why have you done this to us?” (Lk. 2:48). These are questions of clarification, not doubt or disbelief.

It is important to remember this when questions come up in my own heart. When I’m asking God for something, and perhaps, it seems he doesn’t answer or the answer is not what I expected, what do I do with that? Mary pondered in her heart. Do I ponder in my heart?

Pondering in your heart is an act of patience. The answer doesn’t always become clear right away. It takes time. It requires my openness. Mary was patient and attentive. She waited for the will of God to become clear to her.

As Mary pondered her life and circumstances in her heart, her trust in God grew because she continually had her faith confirmed. What God promised her continually came about. Trust increases when faith is confirmed. Even in the moments when she didn’t understand God’s plans at first, perhaps especially in those moments, as her life went on and she continued to reflect in her heart on what happened, God’s plan was revealed to her, and her trust grew as her acts of faith were justified. It didn’t matter whether others saw or understood. What mattered is that she saw it.

I invite you to ponder God’s fidelity in your own life for your acts of faith in Him and to allow it to increase your trust.

In Christ, 

Nicole Buchholz

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Alex Kucera

Atlanta

Alex Kucera has lived in Atlanta, GA, for the last 46 years. He is one of 9 children, married to his wife Karmen, and has 3 girls, one grandson, and a granddaughter on the way. Alex joined Regnum Christi in 2007. Out of the gate, he joined the Helping Hands Medical Missions apostolate and is still participating today with the Ghana Friendship Mission.

In 2009, Alex was asked to be the Atlanta RC Renewal Coordinator for the Atlanta Locality to help the RC members with the RC renewal process. Alex became a Group Leader in 2012 for four of the Atlanta Men’s Section Teams and continues today. Running in parallel, in 2013, Alex became a Team Leader and shepherded a large team of good men.

Alex was honored to be the Atlanta Mission Coordinator between 2010 to 2022 (12 years), coordinating 5-8 Holy Week Mission teams across Georgia. He also created and coordinated missions at a parish in Athens, GA, for 9 years. Alex continues to coordinate Holy Week Missions, Advent Missions, and Monthly missions at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Cumming, GA.

From 2016 to 2022, Alex also served as the Men’s Section Assistant in Atlanta. He loved working with the Men’s Section Director, the Legionaries, Consecrated, and Women’s Section leadership teams.

Alex is exceptionally grateful to the Legionaries, Consecrated, and many RC members who he’s journeyed shoulder to shoulder, growing his relationship with Christ and others along the way. He knows that there is only one way, that’s Christ’s Way, with others!