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RC DAILY MEDITATIONS
RC DAILY MEDITATIONS

April 18, 2023

Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: How Can I Learn to Not Be Attracted to People?”

/ Ask a Priest
Q: I have been looking for a relationship for a long time. I really do want to meet my soulmate. I lose hope on the weekends when it gets really lonely. I have tried several novenas, dating apps and young adult events, etc. Is there a way I can train myself to just focus on God and not have this desire anymore? Is there a way I can force myself to not be attracted to people and not have any feelings for anyone anymore? I want to not care about finding a relationship anymore. To do this, I need to not want it. I want it so bad it is deterring me from praying for other people, and I have done sins while waiting to meet the right one. How can I not care anymore? I want to be able to spend my life not caring/wanting to meet anyone. Kind regards. — P.A.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Your desire to find a soulmate is understandable. As a woman you have a heart that has a special capacity to love and to be loved.

In this sense, it’s unnatural (and unrealistic) to think that you can force yourself to not be attracted to people, to not care about finding a relationship. We are all made for relationships of one sort or another.

If you haven’t found the right relationship yet, it might be because there is some work you need to do first in order to receive the gift fruitfully.

There might be some purification and acceptance (including self-acceptance) that you need to accomplish, aided by grace. In the meantime your focus on God might help you, in your loneliness, to avoid entering a bad romantic relationship.

A path forward might be this: Try dedicating yourself to works of charity. Volunteer for Church-related work where you can do things for others. This is how you can express your love for others and exercise your heart muscle, so to speak.

Alongside this, in prayer, you should strive to be open to the possibility of not meeting Mr. Right. This doesn’t mean that you resolve to remain single forever. Rather, it means accepting the present and future as God reveals it to you, moment by moment.

The key here is that with an intense life of prayer and charitable works you will sense that you are loved dearly by God. He knows the desires of your heart, and if he wants you for himself, that is OK.

One other point is worth noting: A life of deep prayer and charitable works can also make you more attractive. A woman with a strong sense of purpose and a generous heart will feel more confident about herself – and more appealing to others.

In any case, being proactive will help you avoid leaving your life stuck in neutral. You don’t want to remain “on hold,” waiting for the right guy to come along.

Then again, you do have Mr. Right in your life: Jesus. Stay close to him. He is the only perfect love you will ever find in this world.

 

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Are we there yet?

/ Weekly Message

Dear Friends,

If you have ever taken a road trip with young children, you know the proverbial, “Are we there yet?” comes about the time they exhaust the car games and snacks, or maybe after the first round of Veggie Tales or The Lion King. Then, diversions are presented one after another until the destination is reached or the kids fall asleep.

Sometimes our spiritual lives resemble a road trip. We know the desired destination is sanctification in heaven, but we seldom journey on a path devoid of diversions. We can become impatient with God in prayer, lamenting that our lives seem full of diversions, often very good things, that seem to alter our expected course.

I know of one such woman whose path took many twists and turns toward her sanctification, Blessed Marie of the Incarnation.

Born 1 February 1566 at Paris and baptized as Barbe Aurillot, Blessed Marie’s father was a French government official. Educated at her aunt’s convent at Longchamps, she was attracted to religious life, but at age 16 married Pierre Acarie, an aristocrat and treasury official. She raised her six children, three of whom became Carmelites nuns, and one a priest.

Barbe’s husband supported the Catholic League against Henry IV, so when Henry became king, he seized their estates, impoverished the family, and exiled them from Paris. Barbe went to court and reclaimed part of the family fortune. She and Pierre were married 30 years. Barbe, was devoted to acts of charity, especially towards the poor, and the writings of St Teresa of Avila. Both contemplative and apostolic, Barbe was known for her many good works, including being instrumental in bringing Discalced Carmelites of Saint Teresa to France. She founded five houses between 1604 and 1609, and after her husband died, she entered a Carmelite convent, in 1613, taking the name Marie of the Incarnation. Five years later she died, on April 18, 1618.  Blessed Marie was beatified June 5, 1791.

Looking back on Marie’s life, one can see how the many twists and turns actually became the beautiful threads that, once woven together, became the tapestry of her saintly life.

When we are tempted toward impatience with the length of our journeys, may we all have the grace to step back and see those many twists and turns as opportunities to serve the Lord here and now, trusting that He is in control of our final destination.

Yours in the Heart of Jesus,

Donna

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Alex Kucera

Atlanta

Alex Kucera has lived in Atlanta, GA, for the last 46 years. He is one of 9 children, married to his wife Karmen, and has 3 girls, one grandson, and a granddaughter on the way. Alex joined Regnum Christi in 2007. Out of the gate, he joined the Helping Hands Medical Missions apostolate and is still participating today with the Ghana Friendship Mission.

In 2009, Alex was asked to be the Atlanta RC Renewal Coordinator for the Atlanta Locality to help the RC members with the RC renewal process. Alex became a Group Leader in 2012 for four of the Atlanta Men’s Section Teams and continues today. Running in parallel, in 2013, Alex became a Team Leader and shepherded a large team of good men.

Alex was honored to be the Atlanta Mission Coordinator between 2010 to 2022 (12 years), coordinating 5-8 Holy Week Mission teams across Georgia. He also created and coordinated missions at a parish in Athens, GA, for 9 years. Alex continues to coordinate Holy Week Missions, Advent Missions, and Monthly missions at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Cumming, GA.

From 2016 to 2022, Alex also served as the Men’s Section Assistant in Atlanta. He loved working with the Men’s Section Director, the Legionaries, Consecrated, and Women’s Section leadership teams.

Alex is exceptionally grateful to the Legionaries, Consecrated, and many RC members who he’s journeyed shoulder to shoulder, growing his relationship with Christ and others along the way. He knows that there is only one way, that’s Christ’s Way, with others!