May 28, 2019

Q: We are in the process of discerning a godmother for my daughter. I would love to have my sister be godmother, but she is living in a same-sex relationship with her girlfriend who is divorced. I would love any advice you might have regarding the Catholic Church’s views. – S.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: A godparent is someone who helps a child grow in the faith, especially by example.

If your sister is in a same-sex relationship, she is living in a situation that is objectively and blatantly against Church teaching. As such, she would not be allowed to be a godparent (or sponsor).

Canon law (that is, Church law) in No. 874 §1 says: “To be permitted to take on the function of sponsor a person must: […]  3. be a Catholic who has been confirmed and has already received the most holy sacrament of the Eucharist and who leads a life of faith in keeping with the function to be taken on …”

Notice that phrase “leads a life of faith.” This doesn’t imply that a person has to be a saint. But it does mean that a person should be making an honest effort to live the demands of the Gospel and the precepts of the Church.

Being a godparent might not have the same urgency that it had in the past, when lifespans were shorter and families tended to live closer together. But nor is it a mere social custom. It implies a serious responsibility to step in and help a child grow in the faith, especially if something happens to the parents.

A person who is openly living a life in contradiction to Church teaching on sexuality and marriage would do well to excuse herself from consideration to be a sponsor at a baptism.

In the meantime, it might be good to pray for your sister’s conversion. And look for another godparent.

This might be a good moment to go deeper in the faith yourself. The Church’s teaching on sexuality is based on God’s plan for marriage. That is among the teachings you will need to impart to your daughter as she grows in the faith. You might want to start looking into the theology of the body.

With God’s grace, your sister will have changed her ways before your daughter is old enough to sense her aunt’s unusual relationship.

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