{"id":195378,"date":"2026-04-07T00:01:30","date_gmt":"2026-04-07T04:01:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/?p=195378&preview=true&preview_id=195378"},"modified":"2026-03-19T13:05:45","modified_gmt":"2026-03-19T17:05:45","slug":"ask-a-priest-how-should-i-deal-with-a-challenging-in-law","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-how-should-i-deal-with-a-challenging-in-law\/","title":{"rendered":"Ask a Priest: “How Should I Deal With a Challenging In-Law?”"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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Q: My husband and I live with my father-in-law. My father-in-law is very easy-going, but there are a few minor things that make life challenging with him around. My father-in-law is a bit of a control freak. My husband wants to take care of his dad in his old age, and I admire that. While my future husband and I were dating (we are married only a year), he made it very clear that it was not an option for his dad to find a different place to live. My question is, should I just put up with these minor annoyances? Should I pray about this situation? By the way, in some ways having my father-in-law living with us makes life easier. I just want to approach this in a Christ-like way. \u2014 M.<\/address><\/blockquote>\n

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC<\/em>:<\/p>\n

A: Life will never be easy. There are always trade-offs.<\/p>\n

If this is the biggest challenge in your marriage, you are fortunate.<\/p>\n

Some women would love to have a husband who is so dedicated to a parent. And as you say, your father-in-law’s presence makes some things easier.<\/p>\n

But to dig deeper: The key here is not to see the situation as an annoyance.<\/p>\n

God allows challenges in our daily life, not to annoy us but to help us grow in virtue.<\/p>\n

This situation gives you the chance to grow in patience and generosity. Which would be steppingstones toward holiness.<\/p>\n

So, try to see the supernatural dimension of your home life.<\/p>\n

And remember, you have a unique opportunity to do acts of charity for the man who raised the man you love.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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He was an assistant publisher of the National Catholic Register and Faith & Family magazine and an editor of the Zenit news agency\u2019s English edition. He has written for\u00a0SpiritualDirection.com\u00a0and\u00a0ePriest. Fr. McIlmail also worked in spiritual retreats in the Northeast, New England, the Midwest, and the South\u00a0and assisted with mission work in Mexico. Born in Philadelphia, he worked in journalism and was active in the pro-life movement before entering the novitiate of the Legion of Christ in 1992. His contributions to RCSpirituality include responding to\u00a0Ask A Priest\u00a0questions and sharing his insights in our\u00a0Weekly Newsletter.","url":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/author\/emcilmail\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/195378","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/362"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=195378"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/195378\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/157773"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=195378"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=195378"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=195378"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=195378"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}