{"id":177902,"date":"2025-11-21T05:00:59","date_gmt":"2025-11-21T10:00:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/?p=177902"},"modified":"2025-08-20T12:35:02","modified_gmt":"2025-08-20T16:35:02","slug":"ask-a-priest-what-if-my-girlfriend-wants-me-to-be-sterilized","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-what-if-my-girlfriend-wants-me-to-be-sterilized\/","title":{"rendered":"“Ask a Priest: What If My Girlfriend Wants Me to Be Sterilized?”"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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Q: My girlfriend, whom I have been dating for almost two years and love dearly, believes for several reasons she will face a high-risk pregnancy. She believes she would die or the baby would die. Convinced of this, she\u2019s asked me to get a vasectomy, or she wants to get her tubes tied. Would I still be able to marry her and receive the sacrament of marriage? \u2014 D.<\/address><\/blockquote>\n

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC<\/em>:<\/p>\n

Since you don\u2019t mention any reasons for your girlfriend\u2019s fears, it might be good to encourage to get another medical opinion.<\/p>\n

It would be good for her speak to a faithful Catholic doctor. She might consider reaching out to a NaProTechnology<\/a> physician.<\/p>\n

It is possible that your friend\u2019s medical problems might be shaking her faith, too.<\/p>\n

Part of being Christian is recognizing our limitations but also having confidence in God\u2019s providence. This is true especially for married couples; they never know what is ahead, yet they are willing to commit to each other.<\/p>\n

This is a moment when you and she would do well to intensify your prayer lives and sacramental lives.<\/p>\n

That said, let\u2019s turn to your question.<\/p>\n

To undergo sterilization would be a grave offense against God. It is a form of self-mutilation that goes against the commandment \u201cThou shalt not kill.\u201d<\/p>\n

Your girlfriend, possibly motivated by fear, is in effect is asking you to offend God gravely in order to keep her calm.<\/p>\n

This is a formula for disaster.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Grave sin \u2014 especially one whose effects will likely be permanent \u2014 is never a foundation for a happy life.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Any Catholic marriage worth its salt needs to have God at the center.<\/p>\n

It might be good to have a heart-to-heart talk with your girlfriend. And keep God at the heart of your priorities.<\/p>\n

One of a husband\u2019s key duties is to help his spouse get to heaven. This will require leadership and lots of trust in Our Lord.<\/p>\n

It might be good to speak with your pastor or confessor about the situation.<\/p>\n

Count on my prayers.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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He was an assistant publisher of the National Catholic Register and Faith & Family magazine and an editor of the Zenit news agency\u2019s English edition. He has written for\u00a0SpiritualDirection.com\u00a0and\u00a0ePriest. Fr. McIlmail also worked in spiritual retreats in the Northeast, New England, the Midwest, and the South\u00a0and assisted with mission work in Mexico. Born in Philadelphia, he worked in journalism and was active in the pro-life movement before entering the novitiate of the Legion of Christ in 1992. His contributions to RCSpirituality include responding to\u00a0Ask A Priest\u00a0questions and sharing his insights in our\u00a0Weekly Newsletter.","url":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/author\/emcilmail\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/177902","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/362"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=177902"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/177902\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/157773"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=177902"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=177902"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=177902"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=177902"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}