{"id":158149,"date":"2025-09-02T09:30:19","date_gmt":"2025-09-02T13:30:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/?p=158149"},"modified":"2024-12-02T12:34:03","modified_gmt":"2024-12-02T17:34:03","slug":"ask-a-priest-what-if-mom-is-dating-and-doesnt-have-an-annulment","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-what-if-mom-is-dating-and-doesnt-have-an-annulment\/","title":{"rendered":"“Ask a Priest: What If Mom Is Dating and Doesn\u2019t Have an Annulment?”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
Q: My mother claims to be a practicing Catholic, yet she is dating a man without having gotten an annulment since being divorced. I tried explaining to her that what she is doing is very wrong, since she and the man she\u2019s dating are still married to their respective spouses in the eyes of God. I don\u2019t feel comfortable attending holiday parties with the man there, since he knows I don\u2019t condone his relationship with my mom. I also don\u2019t want him to think I\u2019m \u201cOK\u201d with what\u2019s going on by attending the gathering. In this case, am I wrong for not wanting to attend? Especially considering their relationship is potentially mortally sinful, I would have a difficult time attending with a clean conscience. \u2013 A.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/address>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC<\/em> A: It\u2019s admirable that you are concerned about your mom and her choice to date without having obtained an annulment. Admirable, too, is your desire not to want to appear supportive of the relationship. Now, you don’t mention a lot of details about these holiday parties. If these are big events on neutral ground (such as a relative’s home, with dozens of people in attendance), it’s not clear whether you need to avoid such family get-togethers on account of your mom and her friend. In a relatively large crowd, your presence need not imply your support for their relationship, especially if you can keep your distance from the man. It would be another case if the gathering is small and awkward encounters would be hard to avoid. In that case it could be justifiable to skip the event if it goes against your conscience. Our first allegiance is to Our Lord. As you probably realize, keeping your distance from Mom when she’s with her friend could avoid later problems. What if they get tired of waiting for annulments and announce plans for a civil wedding \u2014 and ask you to actively participate in the event? If you hold the line now, they might not put you on the spot later. Or if they get used to your company when they are together, what if they ask to spend the night in your spare bedroom? For now, you might want to encourage Mom to speak with her pastor. Above all, pray for Mom. With God\u2019s grace you can help the woman who brought you to life, to reach eternal life. \u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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He was an assistant publisher of the National Catholic Register and Faith & Family magazine and an editor of the Zenit news agency\u2019s English edition. He has written for\u00a0SpiritualDirection.com\u00a0and\u00a0ePriest. Fr. McIlmail also worked in spiritual retreats in the Northeast, New England, the Midwest, and the South\u00a0and assisted with mission work in Mexico. Born in Philadelphia, he worked in journalism and was active in the pro-life movement before entering the novitiate of the Legion of Christ in 1992. His contributions to RCSpirituality include responding to\u00a0Ask A Priest\u00a0questions and sharing his insights in our\u00a0Weekly Newsletter.","url":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/author\/emcilmail\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/158149","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/362"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=158149"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/158149\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/157773"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=158149"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=158149"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=158149"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=158149"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}