{"id":158148,"date":"2025-08-26T09:30:20","date_gmt":"2025-08-26T13:30:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/?p=158148"},"modified":"2024-12-02T12:35:04","modified_gmt":"2024-12-02T17:35:04","slug":"ask-a-priest-why-do-non-catholics-seem-to-have-it-easier","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-why-do-non-catholics-seem-to-have-it-easier\/","title":{"rendered":"“Ask a Priest: Why Do Non-Catholics Seem to Have It Easier?”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
Q: If I as a Catholic miss Mass, it\u2019s a mortal sin, correct? If I die, I go to hell? Where is God\u2019s loving mercy? And my non-Catholic friends who are good Christians miss their service all the time. Does that put them in mortal sin? Or is it just Catholics? If they miss their service and die, where do they go? Why are we so strict? And as a divorced Catholic without an annulment, I can\u2019t date or marry. But my non-Catholic friends are divorced and remarried and are blessed by God. Why is the Catholic God different from the non-denominational God? I am so tormented that my friends, family and I are going to hell. Not a happy way to live. I know a lot of denominations broke off the Catholic Church, but I see my non-Catholic friends being blessed over and over again \u2014 meaning that they miss services and divorce and remarry and are still in God\u2019s good graces. Whereas if I remarry without an annulment I am doomed. I am confused! Can you help me? — Jean<\/address>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC<\/em> A:\u00a0I’m sorry to hear about your divorce. Perhaps that situation has led you into a lot of anxiety and fear. Fear isn\u2019t the fundamental message of the Church. It\u2019s here to proclaim the good news of the Gospel and to invite people to conversion and growth in holiness. At the start, it’s good to note that Ask a Priest isn’t here to judge the state of anyone’s soul. It’s here to help people understand what Our Lord teaches through his Church. That said, let’s try to address some of your questions and comments. First, it’s a commandment from God that we keep holy the sabbath (Sunday). We should give God due worship. He gives us 168 hours each week. Spending an hour at Mass isn’t a lot to ask. As for other Christians and what they do or don\u2019t do, God alone knows their hearts and minds. Second, the Church assumes that a marriage is valid, unless and until it can be shown that there was something deficient from the start. The Church respects the decision that couples make on their wedding day. This includes marriages between non-Catholics and even non-Christians, assuming that there is no obvious impediment (such as a living ex-spouse). This is why, until a decree of nullity (an “annulment”) is issued, a marriage is considered intact. Hence, the partners need to conduct themselves as being married. You mention that your divorced-and-remarried non-Catholic friends are blessed by God. We\u2019ll learn at the last judgment whether that is really so. In any case, the idea of divorce and remarriage being sinful isn’t something the Church invented. It comes from the lips of Our Lord himself (see Luke 16:18<\/a>). As for what non-Catholics do: Their denominations don’t teach the fullness of the faith as revealed by Christ. Perhaps Our Lord in his mercy will hold them to a different standard. For those of us gifted with the Catholic faith, it’s good to remember Jesus’ words, “Much will be required of the person entrusted with much, and still more will be demanded of the person entrusted with more” (Luke 12:48). It’s good to remember your core identity. You are a beloved daughter of God. He isn’t here to make your life miserable. He is here to help you reach salvation. You seem to be lonely. It might be good to dedicate your time to some kind of volunteer work. Try to build a network of good Catholic friends. It’s easier to live the faith within a community. Also, seek out a solid, regular confessor and\/or spiritual director who can guide you. It helps to have an objective view. And don’t be too quick to relish what other people seem to have. We never know most of the struggles they have \u2014 especially those who don’t have the help of all the sacraments. So give God a chance. Dedicate time to prayer and the sacraments, and the Holy Spirit will be there to support you. I hope some of this helps. Count on my prayers. \u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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Edward McIlmail, LC","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","caption":"Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC"},"description":"Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC, ordained to the priesthood in 2001, taught theology and Scripture at the then Mater Ecclesiae College in Rhode Island and is now a part-time chaplain at Overbrook Academy in Greenville, R.I. He holds degrees from Holy Apostles College and Seminary in Connecticut, the Regina Apostolorum Athenaeum in Rome, and Northwestern University in Illinois. He was an assistant publisher of the National Catholic Register and Faith & Family magazine and an editor of the Zenit news agency\u2019s English edition. He has written for\u00a0SpiritualDirection.com\u00a0and\u00a0ePriest. Fr. McIlmail also worked in spiritual retreats in the Northeast, New England, the Midwest, and the South\u00a0and assisted with mission work in Mexico. Born in Philadelphia, he worked in journalism and was active in the pro-life movement before entering the novitiate of the Legion of Christ in 1992. His contributions to RCSpirituality include responding to\u00a0Ask A Priest\u00a0questions and sharing his insights in our\u00a0Weekly Newsletter.","url":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/author\/emcilmail\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/158148","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/362"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=158148"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/158148\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/157773"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=158148"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=158148"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=158148"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=158148"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}