{"id":153415,"date":"2022-07-05T09:30:41","date_gmt":"2022-07-05T13:30:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-what-if-my-beau-and-i-are-at-a-standoff-over-religion\/"},"modified":"2024-10-22T15:00:09","modified_gmt":"2024-10-22T19:00:09","slug":"ask-a-priest-what-if-my-beau-and-i-are-at-a-standoff-over-religion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-what-if-my-beau-and-i-are-at-a-standoff-over-religion\/","title":{"rendered":"“Ask a Priest: What If My Beau and I Are at a Standoff Over Religion?”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
Q: I am 77 and Protestant. My friend is 82, a widower and a devout Catholic. We are discussing marriage, but from the beginning of our relationship of nearly two years, he states that we are not on the same page because I am not Catholic. He states we cannot move forward until I convert. I don\u2019t have any problem attending his church. He won\u2019t attend a Protestant church. I do not see any reason to convert. I don\u2019t want to be forced into being a false Catholic just to please him. He is unwilling to open his mind to the Protestant church belief, stating that the Catholic religion is the only true one, and Martin Luther was wrong. I have suggested he talk to his priest but he delays. We have another issue in that he would prefer, after marriage, that I move into his home and accept it as his wife left it. I realize that he is still grieving even though he has opened his heart to me as has his family. It seems to me that our relationship cannot move forward in spite of the fact that we are good for each other and have no other issues. I would appreciate your comments. \u2013 R.<\/address>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC<\/em><\/p>\n

A: It\u2019s good that you and your friend are open and honest with each other about your beliefs.<\/p>\n

At your respective ages, you are understandably set in your ways, and it would likely take a miracle to change things. It is Our Lord who converts hearts, not potential spouses.<\/p>\n

As you realize, there is no real value in faking a conversion to the Catholic faith. You should follow your conscience about what you profess, and let your friend know frankly why you don\u2019t intend to convert.<\/p>\n

From what you describe, I don’t see any reconciliation of differences coming anytime soon.<\/p>\n

Perhaps you and your friend could commit to intensifying your prayer life. Ask the Holy Spirit for guidance. Then, give yourselves a deadline.<\/p>\n

If, say, within six months or so neither of you budges on your core opinions, it might be better to break off the relationship. Perhaps you could agree to remain friends, nothing more.<\/p>\n

That might help clear the air, without anyone feeling compromised. And there is something to be said about friendship. In this sense you and he can continue to benefit each other. Count on my prayers.<\/p>\n

Keep learning more with <\/span>Ask a Priest<\/a><\/p>\n

Got a question? Need an answer?<\/h3>\n

Today\u2019s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type your question HERE<\/a>\u00a0and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything \u2013 liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events\u2026 Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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Edward McIlmail, LC","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","caption":"Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC"},"description":"Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC, ordained to the priesthood in 2001, taught theology and Scripture at the then Mater Ecclesiae College in Rhode Island and is now a part-time chaplain at Overbrook Academy in Greenville, R.I. He holds degrees from Holy Apostles College and Seminary in Connecticut, the Regina Apostolorum Athenaeum in Rome, and Northwestern University in Illinois. He was an assistant publisher of the National Catholic Register and Faith & Family magazine and an editor of the Zenit news agency\u2019s English edition. He has written for\u00a0SpiritualDirection.com\u00a0and\u00a0ePriest. Fr. McIlmail also worked in spiritual retreats in the Northeast, New England, the Midwest, and the South\u00a0and assisted with mission work in Mexico. Born in Philadelphia, he worked in journalism and was active in the pro-life movement before entering the novitiate of the Legion of Christ in 1992. His contributions to RCSpirituality include responding to\u00a0Ask A Priest\u00a0questions and sharing his insights in our\u00a0Weekly Newsletter.","url":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/author\/emcilmail\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153415","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/362"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=153415"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153415\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/145952"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=153415"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=153415"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=153415"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=153415"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}