{"id":153408,"date":"2022-01-18T10:30:37","date_gmt":"2022-01-18T15:30:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-what-if-my-well-intentioned-act-was-criticized\/"},"modified":"2024-10-22T15:01:07","modified_gmt":"2024-10-22T19:01:07","slug":"ask-a-priest-what-if-my-well-intentioned-act-was-criticized","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-what-if-my-well-intentioned-act-was-criticized\/","title":{"rendered":"“Ask a Priest: What If My Well-Intentioned Act Was Criticized?”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
Q: I recently made a Christmas donation in honor of my family doctor to a charitable organization. I thought this would be a nice way to say thank you to the doctor for all he has done for me. So, I was shocked when he had his office manager call to say that while the doctor realizes that my intentions were good, he would prefer that I do not do something like this again, that he feels he is simply doing his job as a medical practitioner and is not seeking any type of special recognition. I am stunned by his reaction to my gesture of appreciation. I’m hurt, embarrassed and, as the days go by, becoming increasingly angry. All I meant to do was say thanks to the doctor for looking out for my health and well-being. I wasn’t expecting anyone to build a statue in my honor for what I did, but I certainly wasn’t expecting a slap in the face either. I know that God doesn’t want me to hold a grudge against others, but I am having a hard time making peace with what happened. Please advise. \u2013 L.<\/p>\n

\n<\/address>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC<\/em><\/p>\n

A: Sometimes our best intentions can be misinterpreted or even rebuffed. It is part of life. Even Jesus wasn\u2019t exempt from being misread.<\/p>\n

The doctor might have had his reasons for not wanting his name publicly connected with any organization without his prior knowledge. His name is his trademark, so to speak, and he has a right to a certain amount of control over it.<\/p>\n

Perhaps his name was manipulated by groups in the past. Perhaps his name was associated with an organization he himself didn’t support (such as a pro-abortion group).<\/p>\n

Or, if people see his name associated with donations for one group, they might wonder why he doesn\u2019t support their favorite groups. It can get messy and stir up bad feelings.<\/p>\n

Then again, maybe he is a humble man who simply doesn\u2019t want public recognition for his work. That should be respected. Whether the office manager could have relayed the message in a different or gentler way is another question.<\/p>\n

In any case, there is no need to fan the flames. This is the kind of situation the devil loves to exploit and use as a wedge to cause disunity among people.<\/p>\n

Perhaps it’s better to simply let this go. Forgive and forget. Otherwise, the alternative could be that this incident starts to simmer in your memory and to produce all kinds of toxins that poison relationships. The devil would love that.<\/p>\n

It might be helpful to remember that Jesus himself tried to do good things and was rebuffed. This might be a moment to unite this particular cross with the cross he carried for us.<\/p>\n

Keep learning more with <\/span>Ask a Priest<\/a><\/p>\n

Got a question? Need an answer?<\/h3>\n

Today\u2019s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type your question HERE<\/a>\u00a0and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything \u2013 liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events\u2026 Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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Edward McIlmail, LC","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","caption":"Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC"},"description":"Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC, ordained to the priesthood in 2001, taught theology and Scripture at the then Mater Ecclesiae College in Rhode Island and is now a part-time chaplain at Overbrook Academy in Greenville, R.I. He holds degrees from Holy Apostles College and Seminary in Connecticut, the Regina Apostolorum Athenaeum in Rome, and Northwestern University in Illinois. He was an assistant publisher of the National Catholic Register and Faith & Family magazine and an editor of the Zenit news agency\u2019s English edition. He has written for\u00a0SpiritualDirection.com\u00a0and\u00a0ePriest. Fr. McIlmail also worked in spiritual retreats in the Northeast, New England, the Midwest, and the South\u00a0and assisted with mission work in Mexico. Born in Philadelphia, he worked in journalism and was active in the pro-life movement before entering the novitiate of the Legion of Christ in 1992. His contributions to RCSpirituality include responding to\u00a0Ask A Priest\u00a0questions and sharing his insights in our\u00a0Weekly Newsletter.","url":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/author\/emcilmail\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153408","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/362"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=153408"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153408\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/145952"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=153408"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=153408"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=153408"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=153408"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}