{"id":153378,"date":"2021-07-09T09:30:40","date_gmt":"2021-07-09T13:30:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-i-try-so-hard-why-cant-i-be-perfect\/"},"modified":"2024-10-22T15:03:21","modified_gmt":"2024-10-22T19:03:21","slug":"ask-a-priest-i-try-so-hard-why-cant-i-be-perfect","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-i-try-so-hard-why-cant-i-be-perfect\/","title":{"rendered":"“Ask a Priest: I Try so Hard \u2026 Why Can\u2019t I Be Perfect?”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
Q: I am praying more regularly and watching daily Mass. I’m reading the Bible. I still have difficulty with laziness, envy, insecurity, oversensitivity, shame, being overly emotional, exaggerating, lying so people can take my side in a conflict, lying to sound more credible, attention-seeking behavior, chafing at correction, criticism, being challenged or called out on my lies, nonsense, and excuses. I still complain, obsess, experience high levels of anxiety, harbor resentment and an unforgiving heart, get upset when others disagree with me, and I can be very vain and judgmental. I’m so annoyed with myself. Why can’t I be perfect despite all my efforts? — I.<\/address>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC<\/em><\/p>\n

A: Let’s start with your question, “Why can’t I be perfect despite all my efforts?”<\/p>\n

That might be part of the problem: It\u2019s easy to fall into the mistake of thinking we can reach perfection on our own efforts.<\/p>\n

In fact, none of us can bring ourselves to perfection. Any improvements are a grace of God.<\/p>\n

What is noticeable about your e-mail is an omission: There is not a word about God the Father or Jesus or the Holy Spirit.<\/p>\n

This is odd because religion is foremost about God. The No. 1 goal of the spiritual life is the glory of God.<\/p>\n

Our own sanctification is part of that — a byproduct, if you will, of our doing things for God’s glory. But God comes first.<\/p>\n

But let\u2019s say you have had a particularly frustrating day and feel closed in on yourself. You nevertheless recognize your various faults. Notably, you aren\u2019t blaming others for your problems. And that in itself is a sign of progress.<\/p>\n

In fact, St. John of the Cross, the great Doctor of the Church on prayer and spiritual growth, pointed out that often as we are growing spiritually it feels<\/em> as if we staying the same, or even getting worse.<\/p>\n

It could be that you are in a season of growth and need some guidance on how to cooperate with the graces God is sending you. To that end, you might want to look at my colleague Father John Bartunek\u2019s book that answers questions on spiritual challenges, Answers: Catholic Advice for Your Spiritual Questions<\/em><\/a>.<\/p>\n

For now, try moving the spotlight from yourself and more toward God and what he wants from you.<\/p>\n

He has given you the gifts of life, intelligence, health, faith, etc. You are his beloved daughter. And as a beloved daughter you can feel confident in his help.<\/p>\n

It might help to go to prayer or, if you can, go to the Blessed Sacrament and ask Jesus what he wants of you. This will help lift your vision a bit more heavenward.<\/p>\n

Keep learning more with <\/span>Ask a Priest<\/a><\/p>\n

Got a question? Need an answer?<\/h3>\n

Today\u2019s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type your question HERE<\/a>\u00a0and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything \u2013 liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events\u2026 Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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Edward McIlmail, LC","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","caption":"Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC"},"description":"Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC, ordained to the priesthood in 2001, taught theology and Scripture at the then Mater Ecclesiae College in Rhode Island and is now a part-time chaplain at Overbrook Academy in Greenville, R.I. He holds degrees from Holy Apostles College and Seminary in Connecticut, the Regina Apostolorum Athenaeum in Rome, and Northwestern University in Illinois. He was an assistant publisher of the National Catholic Register and Faith & Family magazine and an editor of the Zenit news agency\u2019s English edition. He has written for\u00a0SpiritualDirection.com\u00a0and\u00a0ePriest. Fr. McIlmail also worked in spiritual retreats in the Northeast, New England, the Midwest, and the South\u00a0and assisted with mission work in Mexico. Born in Philadelphia, he worked in journalism and was active in the pro-life movement before entering the novitiate of the Legion of Christ in 1992. His contributions to RCSpirituality include responding to\u00a0Ask A Priest\u00a0questions and sharing his insights in our\u00a0Weekly Newsletter.","url":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/author\/emcilmail\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153378","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/362"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=153378"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153378\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/145952"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=153378"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=153378"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=153378"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=153378"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}