{"id":153353,"date":"2021-11-05T09:30:56","date_gmt":"2021-11-05T13:30:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-could-i-hold-grudges-in-heaven\/"},"modified":"2024-10-22T15:02:43","modified_gmt":"2024-10-22T19:02:43","slug":"ask-a-priest-could-i-hold-grudges-in-heaven","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-could-i-hold-grudges-in-heaven\/","title":{"rendered":"“Ask a Priest: Could I Hold Grudges in Heaven?”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
Q: I tend to be a bit of a grudge holder, and there are lots of people in this world that I really can’t stand to be around. I feel like this feeling is here to stay no matter what I do, so I am wondering if I were to die and go to heaven, would it still be a crime to want to avoid them completely even when I’m there if they were to somehow make it up there too? \u2013 D.<\/address>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC<\/em><\/p>\n

A:\u00a0Holding grudges against people can be a serious sin against charity. It shows a manifest refusal to forgive others.<\/p>\n

As such, it is the kind of offense that could keep a soul from reaching heaven.<\/p>\n

It might be worth pondering that reality.<\/p>\n

Jesus is willing to forgive us our many sins. In turn, he asks us to forgive others. He warns, “If you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your transgressions” (Matthew 6:15).<\/p>\n

Notice that this is not a mere suggestion from Our Lord.<\/p>\n

So much did Jesus drive home the point that he included that petition in the Our Father, \u201cForgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.\u201d<\/p>\n

A few clarifications might make things easier in the way of love and forgiveness.<\/p>\n

First, Jesus tells us to love one another. But he doesn\u2019t insist that we have to like<\/em> one another.<\/p>\n

Loving someone means that we wish the best for the person and that we hope he reaches heaven someday.<\/p>\n

Liking someone means that we find a person naturally agreeable. Our personalities match. We get along easily. While that is OK as far as it goes, it doesn\u2019t go deep enough.<\/p>\n

We might like the guy at work who\u2019s always joking and always buying coffee and doughnuts for the office. But we might not care that he\u2019s on his fourth marriage or that he\u2019s a borderline alcoholic. We might like him, but we don\u2019t love him in the Christian sense that we are really concerned about his soul.<\/p>\n

Then there is the act of forgiveness itself. Forgiveness is an act of the will, not the feelings. We can make an act of forgiveness even if our feelings for someone are still bruised.<\/p>\n

The key thing is that we want to forgive. We can\u2019t control our feelings so easily, however. Feelings tend to drag up the rear. So don\u2019t worry if, after forgiving someone, you still feel the wounds that he inflicted on you. Feelings take a while to dissipate.<\/p>\n

If you want to go deeper into this topic sometime, the book Forgiveness: A Catholic Approach<\/em><\/a> might be helpful.<\/p>\n

Again, this is the kind of thing to ponder in the light of eternity.<\/p>\n

Keep learning more with <\/span>Ask a Priest<\/a><\/p>\n

Got a question? Need an answer?<\/h3>\n

Today\u2019s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type your question HERE<\/a>\u00a0and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything \u2013 liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events\u2026 Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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He was an assistant publisher of the National Catholic Register and Faith & Family magazine and an editor of the Zenit news agency\u2019s English edition. He has written for\u00a0SpiritualDirection.com\u00a0and\u00a0ePriest. Fr. McIlmail also worked in spiritual retreats in the Northeast, New England, the Midwest, and the South\u00a0and assisted with mission work in Mexico. Born in Philadelphia, he worked in journalism and was active in the pro-life movement before entering the novitiate of the Legion of Christ in 1992. His contributions to RCSpirituality include responding to\u00a0Ask A Priest\u00a0questions and sharing his insights in our\u00a0Weekly Newsletter.","url":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/author\/emcilmail\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153353","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/362"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=153353"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153353\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/145952"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=153353"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=153353"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=153353"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=153353"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}