{"id":153343,"date":"2022-07-22T09:30:59","date_gmt":"2022-07-22T13:30:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-what-if-i-prefer-only-a-few-friends\/"},"modified":"2024-10-22T15:00:04","modified_gmt":"2024-10-22T19:00:04","slug":"ask-a-priest-what-if-i-prefer-only-a-few-friends","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-what-if-i-prefer-only-a-few-friends\/","title":{"rendered":"“Ask a Priest: What If I Prefer Only a Few Friends?”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
Q: I have a doubt that has been hammering my mind and stopping me from taking another step toward self-improvement. What do I need to accept in myself and what do I need to change? How to make this distinction? Example: I don’t like having a lot of friends around me. I have just a few of them, but I know they are true. Is this a trait of personality or a flaw? I also don’t like being overly talkative to strangers, which may seem like I am arrogant. Should I try to change or would that mean I am trying to be who I’m not? Thank you. \u2013 G.<\/address>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC<\/em><\/p>\n

A:\u00a0A short answer is that we need to accept the things that will help us draw closer to God, and try to change the things that lead us away from him. In practice, this can require a lot of discernment. A complete answer in an e-mail isn\u2019t possible.<\/p>\n

That said, it is good to note that being selective about one\u2019s friends is not necessarily a bad trait.<\/p>\n

Even Scripture advises, “Let those who are friendly to you be many, but one in a thousand your confidant. When you gain friends, gain them through testing, and do not be quick to trust them” (Sirach 6:6-7).<\/p>\n

Certainly, it helps to cultivate the belief that all of us are sons and daughters of the heavenly Father, and hence we are brothers and sisters. This means that we try to be kind and respectful to the strangers we meet, even if we aren’t overly talkative with them.<\/p>\n

Unless your reserve is an intentional form of disrespect for others, you shouldn’t beat yourself up. While some aspects of introversion might be a sign of lack of self-confidence, they might simply reflect your particular temperament.<\/p>\n

Since your e-mail gives little of your background, it\u2019s hard to address the issue of self-confidence.<\/p>\n

For now, it might help to learn more about your own temperament. Two works that might help are The Temperament God Gave You<\/em><\/a> by Art and Laraine Bennett, and The Four Temperaments<\/em><\/a> by Conrad Hock.<\/p>\n

No matter what your temperament, it always helps to foster a spirit of charity. And charity can be practiced as much with deeds as with words.<\/p>\n

Keep learning more with <\/span>Ask a Priest<\/a><\/p>\n

Got a question? Need an answer?<\/h3>\n

Today\u2019s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type your question HERE<\/a>\u00a0and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything \u2013 liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events\u2026 Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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He was an assistant publisher of the National Catholic Register and Faith & Family magazine and an editor of the Zenit news agency\u2019s English edition. He has written for\u00a0SpiritualDirection.com\u00a0and\u00a0ePriest. Fr. McIlmail also worked in spiritual retreats in the Northeast, New England, the Midwest, and the South\u00a0and assisted with mission work in Mexico. Born in Philadelphia, he worked in journalism and was active in the pro-life movement before entering the novitiate of the Legion of Christ in 1992. His contributions to RCSpirituality include responding to\u00a0Ask A Priest\u00a0questions and sharing his insights in our\u00a0Weekly Newsletter.","url":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/author\/emcilmail\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153343","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/362"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=153343"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153343\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/145952"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=153343"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=153343"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=153343"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=153343"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}