{"id":153333,"date":"2021-08-27T09:30:28","date_gmt":"2021-08-27T13:30:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-why-didnt-god-make-me-a-different-person\/"},"modified":"2024-10-22T15:03:05","modified_gmt":"2024-10-22T19:03:05","slug":"ask-a-priest-why-didnt-god-make-me-a-different-person","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-why-didnt-god-make-me-a-different-person\/","title":{"rendered":"“Ask a Priest: Why Didn\u2019t God Make Me a Different Person?”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
Q: Sometimes I wonder why couldn\u2019t I have been born as someone else. There\u2019s a cousin of mine whose life I wish I had. She\u2019s a charming person with a beautiful family, surrounded by friends, has a lovely singing voice, is confident, and is part of a successful family business. From an outsider\u2019s point of view, her life seems absolutely perfect. Initially, I would feel a little jealous of her but now I just wonder why couldn\u2019t I be like her or why couldn\u2019t my life be like hers? Is that essentially the same thing as jealousy? Especially when I\u2019m having a bad day or get feelings of inferiority or inadequacy at work, my brain goes into a cycle of \u201cwhy can\u2019t I have someone else\u2019s life\u201d and why was I born to be the person I am? Why couldn\u2019t God bless me the same way my cousin is blessed? \u2013 J.A.<\/address>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC<\/em><\/p>\n

A:\u00a0It sounds as though you don’t feel loved. But you are loved, deeply.<\/p>\n

While your feelings about your cousin could be called jealousy, the solution doesn\u2019t lie with trying to be like her but to accept yourself as you are.<\/p>\n

Here it might help you to meditate on who you are: a beloved daughter of God who is redeemed by the blood of Christ. You are unique.<\/p>\n

God created you out of love. He imprinted his very image in your being in a unique way, and has probably lavished a lot of gifts on you.<\/p>\n

It helps to recall the words of St. Paul, \u201cWe, though many, are one body in Christ and individually parts of one another. Since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us exercise them\u201d (Romans 12:5-6).<\/p>\n

It can be a healthy thing to offer thanks each day for one particular thing in your life: your health, your faith, your family, your country.<\/p>\n

Helpful, too, would be to get involved in some kind of volunteer work. When we reach out to shut-ins or the poor, we quickly discover that other people have much heavier crosses to bear. This puts our own problems in perspective, and it helps us realize how good we have it.<\/p>\n

Reaching out to others also helps us avoid being self-centered. We think less of our desires and more about the genuine needs of others.<\/p>\n

In any case, don’t be too quick to think that your cousin has an easy life. She might have crosses you don’t know about.<\/p>\n

Be sure of this, though: God will give you the grace to become a saint. But you need to respond to him in the situation you are in.<\/p>\n

To help you strive for a bit more tranquility, you might consider our free Retreat Guide<\/a> on achieving peace of soul. I hope some of this helps.<\/p>\n

Keep learning more with <\/span>Ask a Priest<\/a><\/p>\n

Got a question? Need an answer?<\/h3>\n

Today\u2019s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type your question HERE<\/a>\u00a0and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything \u2013 liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events\u2026 Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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Edward McIlmail, LC","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","caption":"Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC"},"description":"Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC, ordained to the priesthood in 2001, taught theology and Scripture at the then Mater Ecclesiae College in Rhode Island and is now a part-time chaplain at Overbrook Academy in Greenville, R.I. He holds degrees from Holy Apostles College and Seminary in Connecticut, the Regina Apostolorum Athenaeum in Rome, and Northwestern University in Illinois. He was an assistant publisher of the National Catholic Register and Faith & Family magazine and an editor of the Zenit news agency\u2019s English edition. He has written for\u00a0SpiritualDirection.com\u00a0and\u00a0ePriest. Fr. McIlmail also worked in spiritual retreats in the Northeast, New England, the Midwest, and the South\u00a0and assisted with mission work in Mexico. Born in Philadelphia, he worked in journalism and was active in the pro-life movement before entering the novitiate of the Legion of Christ in 1992. His contributions to RCSpirituality include responding to\u00a0Ask A Priest\u00a0questions and sharing his insights in our\u00a0Weekly Newsletter.","url":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/author\/emcilmail\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153333","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/362"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=153333"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153333\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/145952"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=153333"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=153333"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=153333"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=153333"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}