{"id":153325,"date":"2021-07-23T09:30:07","date_gmt":"2021-07-23T13:30:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-what-if-im-getting-into-shouting-matches-with-my-kids\/"},"modified":"2024-10-22T15:03:16","modified_gmt":"2024-10-22T19:03:16","slug":"ask-a-priest-what-if-im-getting-into-shouting-matches-with-my-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-what-if-im-getting-into-shouting-matches-with-my-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;Ask a Priest: What If I&#8217;m Getting Into Shouting Matches With My Kids?&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<blockquote>\n<address>Q: I have been struggling with controlling my anger with my children. They have not been listening to me and often talk back. I then repeat what I want them to do and then they either start crying or begin yelling at me. When they yell at me I get angry. Then my son and I get into a yelling match where we both lose out tempers. I have not hit him, but my rage fueled by his crying, screaming and disobedience just this evening led me to drag him out of his room and threaten to hit him with a coat hanger or the belt. I did not actually do it, but I motioned like I was going to do it. Is this a mortal sin that I should go immediately confess? I know that it is wrong and I need to correct it. \u2013 J.K.<\/address>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><em>Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC<\/em><\/p>\n<p>A:\u00a0It&#8217;s good that you recognize that the anger is not healthy. Left unchecked, it can someday turn violent and wreck family life. Allowing ourselves to fall into excessive anger can certainly be a mortal sin, so it&#8217;s good to mention this in confession.<\/p>\n<p>This anger is something you need to face squarely. As the adult here, you need to see this as essentially <em>your <\/em>problem.<\/p>\n<p>Anger often is rooted in childhood experiences. Perhaps you are acting toward your children the way an adult in your life acted toward you. This is a cycle that you want to break. You don&#8217;t want to pass anger on to another generation.<\/p>\n<p>Three immediate suggestions might help.<\/p>\n<p>First, try to intensify your prayer life and sacramental life. Try to find a solid, regular confessor you can help you.<\/p>\n<p>Second, think about seeking out a counselor. There is a bit of a science to controlling anger. You might find a counselor via <a href=\"https:\/\/www.catholictherapists.com\/\">Catholic Therapists<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Third, you might want to read up on the subject, for instance, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Anger-Workbook-13-Step-Interactive-Minirth-Meier\/dp\/0840745745\"><em>The Anger Workbook<\/em><\/a><em>.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Whatever you do, it would be good to do sooner than later. You don&#8217;t want this problem to boil over again. Count on my prayers.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-size: 1.125rem;\">Keep learning more with <\/span><a style=\"font-size: 1.125rem;\" href=\"https:\/\/rcspiritual.wpenginepowered.com\/ask-a-priest\/\">Ask a Priest<\/a><\/p>\n<h3>Got a question? Need an answer?<\/h3>\n<p>Today\u2019s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&amp;A feature that anyone can use. Just type your question <a href=\"https:\/\/rcspiritual.wpenginepowered.com\/ask-a-priest-question\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">HERE<\/a>\u00a0and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything \u2013 liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events\u2026 Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Q: I have been struggling with controlling my anger with my children. They have not been listening to me and often talk back. 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Edward McIlmail, LC","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","caption":"Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC"},"description":"Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC, ordained to the priesthood in 2001, taught theology and Scripture at the then Mater Ecclesiae College in Rhode Island and is now a part-time chaplain at Overbrook Academy in Greenville, R.I. He holds degrees from Holy Apostles College and Seminary in Connecticut, the Regina Apostolorum Athenaeum in Rome, and Northwestern University in Illinois. He was an assistant publisher of the National Catholic Register and Faith &amp; Family magazine and an editor of the Zenit news agency\u2019s English edition. He has written for\u00a0SpiritualDirection.com\u00a0and\u00a0ePriest. Fr. McIlmail also worked in spiritual retreats in the Northeast, New England, the Midwest, and the South\u00a0and assisted with mission work in Mexico. Born in Philadelphia, he worked in journalism and was active in the pro-life movement before entering the novitiate of the Legion of Christ in 1992. His contributions to RCSpirituality include responding to\u00a0Ask A Priest\u00a0questions and sharing his insights in our\u00a0Weekly Newsletter.","url":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/author\/emcilmail\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153325","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/362"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=153325"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153325\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/145952"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=153325"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=153325"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=153325"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=153325"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}