{"id":153308,"date":"2021-06-01T09:30:10","date_gmt":"2021-06-01T13:30:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-what-if-a-guy-i-like-is-thinking-of-the-priesthood\/"},"modified":"2024-10-22T15:03:33","modified_gmt":"2024-10-22T19:03:33","slug":"ask-a-priest-what-if-a-guy-i-like-is-thinking-of-the-priesthood","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-what-if-a-guy-i-like-is-thinking-of-the-priesthood\/","title":{"rendered":"“Ask a Priest: What If a Guy I Like Is Thinking of the Priesthood?”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
Q: I have found myself in a tricky situation. I met a good Catholic man. We became close. He told me he really liked me, and he had even considered dating me. But at the same time his mind was occupied with the question of whether he was called to be a priest. So, we decided to stay friends until he makes the decision. But after two months I realized this is much harder than I expected. We restricted our contact so that we only talk once a week in a phone call. But I am not sure whether this is a right approach. It hurts me because I don\u2019t know how he decides, and I don\u2019t know if there ever will be something between us. On the other hand, I really want to support him, but it is so hard for me. He gave himself a year to decide whether he enters a seminary or not. What should I do? Should I leave him alone until he decides, or should I continue in this friendship and try to support him? Thank you for your advice. \u2013 T.<\/p>\n

\n<\/address>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC<\/em><\/p>\n

A:\u00a0A situation like this is always delicate, and ultimately it is something that only you can decide.<\/p>\n

That said, I offer a few observations.<\/p>\n

First, if a young man is seriously thinking of the priesthood, he should start to live as someone who intends to embrace lifelong celibacy.<\/p>\n

This would normally entail not dating, since healthy dating is done with a possible eye toward marriage.<\/p>\n

If he can’t handle life without a girlfriend or even a woman for whom he has feelings, he won’t be able to handle life without a wife.<\/p>\n

Second, serious discernment about the priesthood requires a man to intensify his life of prayer, the sacraments, spiritual reading, and spiritual direction, etc.\u00a0For him to be involved in a relationship with a woman would simply be too much of a distraction, I dare say.<\/p>\n

Third, and this is related to the second point, your very presence in his life could complicate and muddle his discernment.<\/p>\n

Moreover, it could set you up for heartache later. You might get very attached to him, only to have him drop the relationship in a year or so if he joins the seminary.<\/p>\n

This is personal advice, by the way. Other people might give you a different take.<\/p>\n

In any case, you might want to take some of this to prayer.<\/p>\n

Keep learning more with <\/span>Ask a Priest<\/a><\/p>\n

Got a question? Need an answer?<\/h3>\n

Today\u2019s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to AskAPriest@rcspiritual.wpenginepowered.com<\/a> and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything \u2013 liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events\u2026 Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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Edward McIlmail, LC","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","caption":"Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC"},"description":"Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC, ordained to the priesthood in 2001, taught theology and Scripture at the then Mater Ecclesiae College in Rhode Island and is now a part-time chaplain at Overbrook Academy in Greenville, R.I. He holds degrees from Holy Apostles College and Seminary in Connecticut, the Regina Apostolorum Athenaeum in Rome, and Northwestern University in Illinois. He was an assistant publisher of the National Catholic Register and Faith & Family magazine and an editor of the Zenit news agency\u2019s English edition. He has written for\u00a0SpiritualDirection.com\u00a0and\u00a0ePriest. Fr. McIlmail also worked in spiritual retreats in the Northeast, New England, the Midwest, and the South\u00a0and assisted with mission work in Mexico. Born in Philadelphia, he worked in journalism and was active in the pro-life movement before entering the novitiate of the Legion of Christ in 1992. His contributions to RCSpirituality include responding to\u00a0Ask A Priest\u00a0questions and sharing his insights in our\u00a0Weekly Newsletter.","url":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/author\/emcilmail\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153308","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/362"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=153308"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153308\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/145952"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=153308"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=153308"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=153308"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=153308"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}