{"id":153306,"date":"2022-04-05T09:30:48","date_gmt":"2022-04-05T13:30:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-what-if-i-dont-feel-up-to-my-boyfriends-level-of-faith\/"},"modified":"2024-10-22T15:00:40","modified_gmt":"2024-10-22T19:00:40","slug":"ask-a-priest-what-if-i-dont-feel-up-to-my-boyfriends-level-of-faith","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-what-if-i-dont-feel-up-to-my-boyfriends-level-of-faith\/","title":{"rendered":"“Ask a Priest: What If I Don\u2019t Feel Up to My Boyfriend\u2019s Level of Faith?”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
Q: My boyfriend of almost four years is Catholic and is interested in the continual development of his faith. His ideals are that we work on our faith together by going to Mass, confession and praying together, etc. I consider my Catholic faith to be a part of my life but not something that defines me, whereas faith is very much his whole life. When he discussed more about the idea of our getting married, I decided to put the relationship on hold. I did this because I felt that I needed to engage in more introspection on my own faith and consider what our lives would be like, together forever, with such varying levels of spiritual understanding and commitment. I am interested in discovering more about myself and how I identify with the Catholic faith. Is there anything you could suggest I do to further my understanding and discover if this is something meant for me? And, is it selfish to continue in this relationship if I know I won’t be someone who helps him develop his faith and spirituality? — A.M.<\/p>\n

\n<\/address>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC<\/em><\/p>\n

A:\u00a0You mention, “If this is something meant for me.”<\/p>\n

If you mean the Catholic faith, I would say yes, definitely. Jesus wants everyone to embrace the fullness of what he revealed and passes down through the Church.<\/p>\n

To learn more about the faith it would help to read the Youth Catechism (YouCat<\/a>) or the heavier Catechism of the Catholic Church. You might also find useful some of the resources at Catholics Come Home<\/a>.<\/p>\n

You might want to consider doing a retreat at a solid Catholic retreat center. If you later get engaged, think of doing a “Three to Get Married” retreat<\/a>.<\/p>\n

As for continuing the relationship even if you don’t think you can help your friend develop in this faith: Relationships aren’t static. They grow, they mature.<\/p>\n

Your friend is probably influencing you for the better, and you might be doing the same, though in a different way. In other words, your friend\u2019s presence in your life could be God\u2019s particular blessing with you.<\/p>\n

That your faith might not be as strong as his could be an incentive for your friend to intensify his prayers and sacrifices for you, which in turn could help his faith grow. Your willingness to examine your own life more can be an exercise in humility, which could help you grow in your faith.<\/p>\n

The upshot is: Don’t be too quick to give up on the relationship.<\/p>\n

It sounds as though there is a lot of good will here, on your part and your boyfriend’s.<\/p>\n

Remember, too, that marriage is a sacrament which brings its own graces for spouses.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Keep learning more with <\/span>Ask a Priest<\/a><\/p>\n

Got a question? Need an answer?<\/h3>\n

Today\u2019s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type your question HERE<\/a>\u00a0and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything \u2013 liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events\u2026 Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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Edward McIlmail, LC","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","caption":"Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC"},"description":"Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC, ordained to the priesthood in 2001, taught theology and Scripture at the then Mater Ecclesiae College in Rhode Island and is now a part-time chaplain at Overbrook Academy in Greenville, R.I. He holds degrees from Holy Apostles College and Seminary in Connecticut, the Regina Apostolorum Athenaeum in Rome, and Northwestern University in Illinois. He was an assistant publisher of the National Catholic Register and Faith & Family magazine and an editor of the Zenit news agency\u2019s English edition. He has written for\u00a0SpiritualDirection.com\u00a0and\u00a0ePriest. Fr. McIlmail also worked in spiritual retreats in the Northeast, New England, the Midwest, and the South\u00a0and assisted with mission work in Mexico. Born in Philadelphia, he worked in journalism and was active in the pro-life movement before entering the novitiate of the Legion of Christ in 1992. His contributions to RCSpirituality include responding to\u00a0Ask A Priest\u00a0questions and sharing his insights in our\u00a0Weekly Newsletter.","url":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/author\/emcilmail\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153306","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/362"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=153306"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153306\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/145952"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=153306"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=153306"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=153306"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=153306"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}