{"id":153257,"date":"2020-12-08T10:30:41","date_gmt":"2020-12-08T15:30:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-what-if-my-dad-is-rude\/"},"modified":"2024-10-22T15:05:39","modified_gmt":"2024-10-22T19:05:39","slug":"ask-a-priest-what-if-my-dad-is-rude","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-what-if-my-dad-is-rude\/","title":{"rendered":"“Ask a Priest: What If My Dad Is Rude?”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
Q: I am a devout Catholic and a very gentle person. However, my father is a very insensitive man, and whenever I speak in a polite way he gets infuriated with me and talks down to me. This forces me to talk roughly back at him as this is the only way he’ll listen. Because I am forced to be that way, I am losing my gentle nature and kindness. The Bible says to honor your father, but how can I when he is so nasty? How would you suggest a more Christ-like way of dealing with my father’s rudeness and manipulative behavior? Please help, I am very stressed and have nobody to talk to about it. \u2013 N.D.<\/address>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC<\/em><\/p>\n

A:\u00a0I’m sorry to hear about your situation.<\/p>\n

This would be a good moment to stay the course. You are who you are. Gentleness can be a great virtue. There is no need to become coarse because of your dad.<\/p>\n

You mention the word “manipulative.” The key thing with manipulation is that we can draw the line and not let people manipulate us.<\/p>\n

If your dad gets angry, then it is all the more important that you keep your cool. If you react to his anger, that might only fuel the fires. (Jesus, by the way, had to deal with testy relatives too; see Luke 4:20-30.)<\/p>\n

There might be other things going on under the surface with your dad. I won’t try to speculate about them here.<\/p>\n

Suffice it to say that you can honor your dad by praying for him and being respectful to him — but there is no need to come down to his level of rudeness.<\/p>\n

Keep learning more with <\/span>Ask a Priest<\/a><\/p>\n

Got a question? Need an answer?<\/h3>\n

Today\u2019s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to AskAPriest@rcspiritual.wpenginepowered.com<\/a> and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything \u2013 liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events\u2026 Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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He was an assistant publisher of the National Catholic Register and Faith & Family magazine and an editor of the Zenit news agency\u2019s English edition. He has written for\u00a0SpiritualDirection.com\u00a0and\u00a0ePriest. Fr. McIlmail also worked in spiritual retreats in the Northeast, New England, the Midwest, and the South\u00a0and assisted with mission work in Mexico. Born in Philadelphia, he worked in journalism and was active in the pro-life movement before entering the novitiate of the Legion of Christ in 1992. His contributions to RCSpirituality include responding to\u00a0Ask A Priest\u00a0questions and sharing his insights in our\u00a0Weekly Newsletter.","url":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/author\/emcilmail\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153257","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/362"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=153257"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153257\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/145952"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=153257"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=153257"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=153257"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=153257"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}