{"id":153249,"date":"2020-11-10T10:30:16","date_gmt":"2020-11-10T15:30:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-what-if-my-catholic-girlfriend-is-pro-contraception\/"},"modified":"2024-10-22T15:05:43","modified_gmt":"2024-10-22T19:05:43","slug":"ask-a-priest-what-if-my-catholic-girlfriend-is-pro-contraception","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-what-if-my-catholic-girlfriend-is-pro-contraception\/","title":{"rendered":"“Ask a Priest: What If My Catholic Girlfriend Is Pro-contraception?”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
Q: I am new to the Catholic faith and am enrolling in an RCIA class right now and I fully intend to follow what the Church teaches. My girlfriend is Catholic, but pro-contraception. Our relationship is proceeding in the way that all Christian relationships should before marriage, so it is not an issue I feel I need to tackle at the moment. I do not want to drive a wedge in the relationship. I was wondering the best way to handle this topic delicately should the relationship reach the point of talking about marriage. Thank you in advance for your advice! \u2013 T.<\/address>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC<\/em><\/p>\n

A: It’s good to hear that you want to join the Church and live in accord with its teaching.<\/p>\n

It’s also good — if I understand your e-mail correctly — that you and your friend are living chastely. That shows a lot of good will on her part (and yours, of course).<\/p>\n

That would indicate that your friend might be open to being persuaded about the Church’s wisdom regarding contraception.<\/p>\n

It’s worth noting that this isn’t just a Church teaching. It is something that touches on the very nature of marriage itself.<\/p>\n

Marital intimacy is supposed to a sign of spouses’ total self-giving to each other, and that includes their fertility (actual or potential). Contraception undercuts the meaning of the act of intimacy and in effect slams the door on God’s participation in it.<\/p>\n

It’s certainly an issue you will want to talk over with her, since in some cases a contraceptive mentality could be an impediment to marriage.<\/p>\n

It might help if the both of you read or review materials together. For instance: Pope Paul VI’s encyclical Humanae Vitae<\/a>; Janet E. Smith’s “Contraception: Why Not?<\/a>” and “Four Ways NFP Is Different from Contraception<\/a>“; Man and Woman He Created Them: A Theology of the Body<\/em><\/a>; and Theology of the Body for Beginners<\/em><\/a>.<\/p>\n

A big part of marriage would be to help your wife grow in holiness and get to heaven.<\/p>\n

So it’s important that this matter of contraception be addressed seriously. It could set the pace for other issues that arise in your relationship.<\/p>\n

In the meantime you might want to intensify your prayers for your friend.<\/p>\n

Perhaps part of your mission as you draw closer to the Catholic faith is to help your friend draw closer to the heart of the Church in which she was baptized.<\/p>\n

Keep learning more with <\/span>Ask a Priest<\/a><\/p>\n

Got a question? Need an answer?<\/h3>\n

Today\u2019s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to AskAPriest@rcspiritual.wpenginepowered.com<\/a> and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything \u2013 liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events\u2026 Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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Edward McIlmail, LC","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","caption":"Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC"},"description":"Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC, ordained to the priesthood in 2001, taught theology and Scripture at the then Mater Ecclesiae College in Rhode Island and is now a part-time chaplain at Overbrook Academy in Greenville, R.I. He holds degrees from Holy Apostles College and Seminary in Connecticut, the Regina Apostolorum Athenaeum in Rome, and Northwestern University in Illinois. He was an assistant publisher of the National Catholic Register and Faith & Family magazine and an editor of the Zenit news agency\u2019s English edition. He has written for\u00a0SpiritualDirection.com\u00a0and\u00a0ePriest. Fr. McIlmail also worked in spiritual retreats in the Northeast, New England, the Midwest, and the South\u00a0and assisted with mission work in Mexico. Born in Philadelphia, he worked in journalism and was active in the pro-life movement before entering the novitiate of the Legion of Christ in 1992. His contributions to RCSpirituality include responding to\u00a0Ask A Priest\u00a0questions and sharing his insights in our\u00a0Weekly Newsletter.","url":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/author\/emcilmail\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153249","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/362"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=153249"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153249\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/145952"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=153249"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=153249"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=153249"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=153249"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}