{"id":153238,"date":"2020-10-02T09:30:08","date_gmt":"2020-10-02T13:30:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-how-do-i-tell-someone-that-she-isnt-fair\/"},"modified":"2024-10-22T15:05:49","modified_gmt":"2024-10-22T19:05:49","slug":"ask-a-priest-how-do-i-tell-someone-that-she-isnt-fair","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-how-do-i-tell-someone-that-she-isnt-fair\/","title":{"rendered":"“Ask a Priest: How Do I Tell Someone That She Isn’t Fair?”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
Q: How do I tell a person to whom I owe gratitude that it\u2019s wrong for her to treat her workers unfairly? \u2013 M.C.<\/address>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC<\/em><\/p>\n

A:\u00a0If you are very sure that she is indeed treating workers unfairly, you might want to share your observation with her charitably and discreetly.<\/p>\n

If you owe her a debt of gratitude, that is all the more reason to see fraternal correction as a form of charity that can help repay some of that debt. For it’s not easy to correct a person who has helped us.<\/p>\n

Before approaching her about the workers, it would be good to pray first. Ask the Holy Spirit for guidance to say the right thing in the right way.<\/p>\n

Also helpful would be to an act of charity before <\/em>you speak with her. That is, look for a moment when you have just done her a favor and she thanks you. You could pause and say, “Sally, would you have a moment? There’s been something on my heart \u2026”<\/p>\n

When you bring up your observations, try to limit your comments, and back them up with examples. Avoid coming across as judgmental.<\/p>\n

Instead of saying, “Sally, you treat your workers badly,” you might say, “You know, Sally, I noticed last week that you had a tough deadline to meet. I noticed that you loudly corrected Donna in front of the whole staff, and that she was quite upset the rest of the day. For myself, I always appreciate it when a boss points out something to me discreetly …”<\/p>\n

Then, let Sally give her side of the story if she wants. Just listen to her patiently, without getting into an argument. Sometimes it’s better just to raise a point and then give the other person time to absorb it.<\/p>\n

Try to add a positive comment at the end. “I know you do a lot for the company, Sally, and I know it helps the staff when you give them encouragement. I hope you don\u2019t mind me sharing this concern I had.”<\/p>\n

It would help to keep praying for Sally, too. Bosses often have a lot more on their shoulders than we imagine.<\/p>\n

Keep learning more with <\/span>Ask a Priest<\/a><\/p>\n

Got a question? Need an answer?<\/h3>\n

Today\u2019s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to AskAPriest@rcspiritual.wpenginepowered.com<\/a> and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything \u2013 liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events\u2026 Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Q: How do I tell a person to whom I owe gratitude that it\u2019s wrong for her to treat her workers unfairly? \u2013 M.C. Answered by Fr. 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He was an assistant publisher of the National Catholic Register and Faith & Family magazine and an editor of the Zenit news agency\u2019s English edition. He has written for\u00a0SpiritualDirection.com\u00a0and\u00a0ePriest. Fr. McIlmail also worked in spiritual retreats in the Northeast, New England, the Midwest, and the South\u00a0and assisted with mission work in Mexico. Born in Philadelphia, he worked in journalism and was active in the pro-life movement before entering the novitiate of the Legion of Christ in 1992. His contributions to RCSpirituality include responding to\u00a0Ask A Priest\u00a0questions and sharing his insights in our\u00a0Weekly Newsletter.","url":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/author\/emcilmail\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153238","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/362"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=153238"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153238\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/145952"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=153238"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=153238"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=153238"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=153238"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}