{"id":153229,"date":"2020-09-01T09:30:28","date_gmt":"2020-09-01T13:30:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-what-if-my-daughter-is-pro-gay\/"},"modified":"2024-10-22T15:06:19","modified_gmt":"2024-10-22T19:06:19","slug":"ask-a-priest-what-if-my-daughter-is-pro-gay","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-what-if-my-daughter-is-pro-gay\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;Ask a Priest: What If My Daughter Is Pro-Gay?&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<blockquote>\n<address>Q: My daughter seems to be attracted to gay people and likes to watch films about gay couples and to write her own stories centered around gay relationships. She\u2019s very anti-straight people and says it\u2019s because boys in her class (a Catholic school) talk so disgustingly about women that she thinks men just treat women as sex objects. I think she must be confused about her own sexuality, but she won\u2019t discuss it and she gets very angry and upset when I tell her that she shouldn\u2019t be watching and writing about gay relationships. She thinks it\u2019s OK if they only kiss. I want to know if I\u2019m doing the right thing by saying it\u2019s wrong since it upsets her so much. \u2013 K.<\/p>\n<p class=\"m-4021602221989404838ydp69645e4cyiv5078300124ydpfd2d5a57yiv0421283852ydp3cd5237dmsonormal\" style=\"margin: 0in; margin-bottom: .0001pt; line-height: 115%;\">\n<\/address>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><em>Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC<\/em><\/p>\n<p>A:\u00a0I&#8217;m sorry to hear that your daughter is exposed to such foul talk &#8212; at a Catholic school, no less. It&#8217;s a sign of the times, unfortunately.<\/p>\n<p>As to your question: It sounds as though you are saying the right thing but not in the right way.<\/p>\n<p>Our ability to communicate a message depends a lot on the listener&#8217;s ability and readiness to accept it.<\/p>\n<p>One source of the problem is that your daughter has been repulsed by the foul talk of (presumably) heterosexual young men. That means one point against heterosexuals and one point against men &#8212; in your daughter&#8217;s mind. Small wonder that she might find (genial) gay people a more appealing group.<\/p>\n<p>Whether she herself feels the pull of a gay lifestyle is hard to say, based on your e-mail.<\/p>\n<p>This is a complicated case, far beyond the scope of what an e-mail can address. But perhaps a few suggestions would help.<\/p>\n<p>First, try to build as much rapport with your daughter as possible. Show support for her rejection of what she hears from her male peers at school. Perhaps you can share with her that not all men are like that. Point out the men in your life who are polite toward and respectful of women &#8212; men whom your daughter knows well.<\/p>\n<p>Second, encourage her to maintain her own dignity. Let her know that Jesus loves her dearly and suffered and died for her &#8212; another sign that not all men are bad.<\/p>\n<p>Third, it might help if you and she read or viewed some material together. A few suggestions and\/or resources: <a href=\"http:\/\/thetheologyofthebody.com\/information\/teens.html\">Theology of the Body for Teens<\/a> and (if you think it appropriate) &#8220;The Third Way&#8221; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=6rgDLWOFCRA\">video<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Another thing that might help is getting your daughter involved with other, young faithful Catholics in volunteer work or even a mission (see Regnum Christi&#8217;s <a href=\"https:\/\/www.missionyouth.com\/\">Mission Youth<\/a> program).<\/p>\n<p>In the meantime you might want to intensify your prayers for your daughter. More prayer, less preaching will help to keep her heart open. And you might consider saying something to the school about the students&#8217; foul talk.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-size: 1.125rem;\">Keep learning more with <\/span><a style=\"font-size: 1.125rem;\" href=\"https:\/\/rcspiritual.wpenginepowered.com\/ask-a-priest\/\">Ask a Priest<\/a><\/p>\n<h3>Got a question? Need an answer?<\/h3>\n<p>Today\u2019s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&amp;A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to <a href=\"mailto:AskAPriest@rcspiritual.wpenginepowered.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">AskAPriest@rcspiritual.wpenginepowered.com<\/a> and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything \u2013 liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events\u2026 Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Q: My daughter seems to be attracted to gay people and likes to watch films about gay couples and to write her own stories centered around gay relationships. She\u2019s very [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":362,"featured_media":145952,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[3718],"tags":[5365,3200,5366,3364,4008,5367],"post_folder":[],"class_list":["post-153229","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ask-a-priest","tag-confused","tag-daughter","tag-pro-gay","tag-school","tag-sexuality","tag-teen"],"pp_statuses_selecting_workflow":false,"pp_workflow_action":"current","pp_status_selection":"","pp_force_visibility":null,"pp_subpost_visibility":null,"pp_inherited_force_visibility":null,"pp_inherited_subpost_visibility":null,"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v28.8 (Yoast SEO v28.8) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>&quot;Ask a Priest: What If My Daughter Is Pro-Gay?&quot; - Regnum Christi<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-what-if-my-daughter-is-pro-gay\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"&quot;Ask a Priest: What If My Daughter Is Pro-Gay?&quot;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Q: My daughter seems to be attracted to gay people and likes to watch films about gay couples and to write her own stories centered around gay relationships. 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Edward McIlmail, LC","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","caption":"Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC"},"description":"Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC, ordained to the priesthood in 2001, taught theology and Scripture at the then Mater Ecclesiae College in Rhode Island and is now a part-time chaplain at Overbrook Academy in Greenville, R.I. He holds degrees from Holy Apostles College and Seminary in Connecticut, the Regina Apostolorum Athenaeum in Rome, and Northwestern University in Illinois. He was an assistant publisher of the National Catholic Register and Faith &amp; Family magazine and an editor of the Zenit news agency\u2019s English edition. He has written for\u00a0SpiritualDirection.com\u00a0and\u00a0ePriest. Fr. McIlmail also worked in spiritual retreats in the Northeast, New England, the Midwest, and the South\u00a0and assisted with mission work in Mexico. Born in Philadelphia, he worked in journalism and was active in the pro-life movement before entering the novitiate of the Legion of Christ in 1992. His contributions to RCSpirituality include responding to\u00a0Ask A Priest\u00a0questions and sharing his insights in our\u00a0Weekly Newsletter.","url":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/author\/emcilmail\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153229","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/362"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=153229"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153229\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/145952"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=153229"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=153229"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=153229"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=153229"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}