{"id":153226,"date":"2021-04-16T09:30:55","date_gmt":"2021-04-16T13:30:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-what-if-my-loved-ones-dont-live-the-faith\/"},"modified":"2024-10-22T15:05:18","modified_gmt":"2024-10-22T19:05:18","slug":"ask-a-priest-what-if-my-loved-ones-dont-live-the-faith","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-what-if-my-loved-ones-dont-live-the-faith\/","title":{"rendered":"“Ask a Priest: What If My Loved Ones Don’t Live the Faith?”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
Q: A number of my loved ones, including my parents and godmother, live lives contrary to Catholic teachings and never go to confession. They haven\u2019t been in over 20 years and don\u2019t believe they have done anything mortally sinful. I know for a fact they have missed Mass without reason, used birth control, and honestly just need a good confession. My best friend does go to confession occasionally, but she also uses birth control and doesn\u2019t believe it to be sinful. In my own life, not counting NFP instructors, I only know one Catholic who didn\u2019t use birth control. I am sorry for the rant but my question is this: Is there any hope for my loved ones? Can they be saved despite the lack of going to confession and repeatedly committing mortal sins? It breaks my heart to think people I love will go to hell. I have tried to convince them to go to confession. It falls on deaf ears. I pray God will have mercy on them. \u2013 A.V.<\/p>\n

\n<\/address>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC<\/em><\/p>\n

A:\u00a0I’m sorry to hear about your friends and family members. Unfortunately, your family situation is not unique.<\/p>\n

Many Catholics have drifted from the practice of the faith. The reasons vary. Even some Catholics who attend Mass regularly don’t always embrace Church teachings.<\/p>\n

So what to do?<\/p>\n

First, it’s good to remember that God alone knows the heart and mind of each person. Many people might suffer from inculpable ignorance. They are clueless about the faith. It might not be completely their fault, given the poor catechesis they received and possibly the bad example they have seen in other Catholics.<\/p>\n

Second, there is always hope that they will see the light and return to the sacraments. This is where you own prayers and sacrifices and example might help immeasurably. You might not see the fruit of your prayers right away. That’s OK — the Holy Spirit has his moment to work in souls.<\/p>\n

Third, you can start to look for way to catechize your relatives gently. You might leave books and pamphlets around your house that catch their eye. You might share with them (again, gently) how much confession and the Church’s teachings have helped you. Maybe you can share resources about the Church teaching on contraception, such as:<\/p>\n

https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=3yBPmQDF5iI<\/a><\/p>\n

https:\/\/www3.nd.edu\/~afreddos\/courses\/264\/contraception-whynot.htm<\/a><\/p>\n

You might also pray to St. Monica and offer up Masses for your loved ones’ conversion, and let them know that you are interceding for them. This might prompt them to ask themselves, “Why is she praying so intensely for us?”<\/p>\n

Helpful, too, might be to think about how you can help catechize young people. Perhaps you can volunteer for CCD classes or offer a theology of the body course for teens at your parish.<\/p>\n

Above all, be hopeful but realistic. God is still in charge. But people change slowly. Try to focus on being the best Catholic you can, and don’t get discouraged if it seems as though the folks around you aren’t quite on board with the faith. We are called to be faithful, not successful.<\/p>\n

To maintain your own spiritual life, think about using our free Retreat Guides<\/a>. Count on my prayers.<\/p>\n

Keep learning more with <\/span>Ask a Priest<\/a><\/p>\n

Got a question? Need an answer?<\/h3>\n

Today\u2019s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to AskAPriest@rcspiritual.wpenginepowered.com<\/a> and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything \u2013 liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events\u2026 Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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Edward McIlmail, LC","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","caption":"Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC"},"description":"Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC, ordained to the priesthood in 2001, taught theology and Scripture at the then Mater Ecclesiae College in Rhode Island and is now a part-time chaplain at Overbrook Academy in Greenville, R.I. He holds degrees from Holy Apostles College and Seminary in Connecticut, the Regina Apostolorum Athenaeum in Rome, and Northwestern University in Illinois. He was an assistant publisher of the National Catholic Register and Faith & Family magazine and an editor of the Zenit news agency\u2019s English edition. He has written for\u00a0SpiritualDirection.com\u00a0and\u00a0ePriest. Fr. McIlmail also worked in spiritual retreats in the Northeast, New England, the Midwest, and the South\u00a0and assisted with mission work in Mexico. Born in Philadelphia, he worked in journalism and was active in the pro-life movement before entering the novitiate of the Legion of Christ in 1992. His contributions to RCSpirituality include responding to\u00a0Ask A Priest\u00a0questions and sharing his insights in our\u00a0Weekly Newsletter.","url":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/author\/emcilmail\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153226","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/362"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=153226"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153226\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/145952"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=153226"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=153226"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=153226"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=153226"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}