{"id":153208,"date":"2020-06-23T09:30:52","date_gmt":"2020-06-23T13:30:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-must-i-follow-a-confessors-advice-about-a-vocation\/"},"modified":"2024-10-22T14:54:34","modified_gmt":"2024-10-22T18:54:34","slug":"ask-a-priest-must-i-follow-a-confessors-advice-about-a-vocation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-must-i-follow-a-confessors-advice-about-a-vocation\/","title":{"rendered":"“Ask a Priest: Must I Follow a Confessor’s Advice About a Vocation?”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
Q: Must a confessor’s advice be obeyed completely — if it is regarding a vocation? Some context: I am unmarried (female). I have discerned and I do not have strong inclinations toward religious or married life. Also, I have to take care of my aging mom, and my job is our only source of income. (My mom grew up in an orphanage, and I don’t want to leave her in a senior home when she becomes very old. I think that would be very ungrateful of me to do so.) The good priest (not my regular confessor), however, told me to choose either of the vocations. And now I am not at peace. He said one should either take up witnessing religious life in community or in the salvific work of a marriage. As a single I do not have a strong ministry in groups, but I do give witness to Jesus at my workplace and encourage people in little ways through my online work. I have always thought I am called to remain hidden and, with God’s help, sanctified in the world. I am open to Jesus’ will if he wants me to be in religious life or marriage, and not the life I have chosen in prayer. At age 31 I do not know which congregation would accept me here (in India) and how I would take care of mom financially for at least five more years. I do believe that it is Jesus in the confessional, and I very much want to obey the priest. It’s just that my circumstances are particular. Please suggest something. \u2013 P.<\/address>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC<\/em><\/p>\n

A:\u00a0It is admirable that you are taking care of your mother. This is a beautiful way to follow the Fourth Commandment and to give Christian witness to the world.<\/p>\n

I don’t know the full context of what was said in the confessional, so I don’t want to appear as though I’m judging that priest. Having said that, let me offer a few observations.<\/p>\n

First, religious life or marriage aren’t the only options for you. Single life has its place in the Church, too.<\/p>\n

Some singles who want to live a deeper life of faith might join a third order of the Carmelites or Franciscans, for instance. But that is an option, not an obligation.<\/p>\n

In any case it sounds as though your “vocation” right now is to take care of your mom.<\/p>\n

Some congregations, in fact, would dissuade someone from entering religious life who needs to care for an elderly parent.<\/p>\n

And the fact that you don’t feel any strong inclination toward religious life is another sign that it might not be your path.<\/p>\n

It’s understandable if someone in India might think that a young Catholic woman should either be married or in religious life. Traditional societies might find it hard to accept the notion of a young woman being “unattached.”<\/p>\n

However, you do have a strong family attachment to your mother, and it is understandable that her well-being is a priority for you.<\/p>\n

As for the other dimension of your question: Advice about vocations is just that — advice. You aren’t obliged to follow what the priest said.<\/p>\n

The better place to seek advice about vocations might be with the vocational director or superior of a religious congregation or with a spiritual director. Discernment takes time and a lot of dialogue and prayer. (Our Retreat Guide<\/a> on vocation might help you.)<\/p>\n

In any case you would want to cultivate a deep prayer life and sacramental life. This is the best preparation for being open to God’s will, whatever it might be. Because who knows — maybe the Holy Spirit wanted you to hear something from that confessor.<\/p>\n

Keep learning more with Ask a Priest<\/a><\/h3>\n

Got a question? Need an answer?<\/h3>\n

Today\u2019s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to AskAPriest@rcspiritual.wpenginepowered.com<\/a> and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything \u2013 liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events\u2026 Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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