{"id":153184,"date":"2020-03-31T09:30:33","date_gmt":"2020-03-31T13:30:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-why-cant-my-current-husband-receive-communion\/"},"modified":"2024-10-22T15:07:11","modified_gmt":"2024-10-22T19:07:11","slug":"ask-a-priest-why-cant-my-current-husband-receive-communion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-why-cant-my-current-husband-receive-communion\/","title":{"rendered":"“Ask a Priest: Why Can’t My Current Husband Receive Communion?”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
Q: I need help trying to understand my situation and justify something this priest said to my husband recently. A brief background: I was raised with Catholic teachings and values and have been baptized, just not in a Catholic church. I got pregnant at 20 and married my son’s father in a Methodist church. After adultery on my husband’s part, we legally divorced. My current husband is a baptized Catholic, however, at the time we met, not really practicing. He is in the Navy, and during our first deployment as a married couple he decided to renew his faith and become more committed to it. After many years, I started attending Mass with him and reading the Bible as way for us to share it together. During his last deployment and current deployment, the chaplains told him he couldn\u2019t receive Communion because my marriage had not been annulled. That was a very difficult blow to him. I don\u2019t think he considered at all the repercussions of his choosing to marry a divorced non-Catholic. He is being withheld from the Body of Christ because of me, his marriage to me, and his honesty with his priest. Help me understand how this is acceptable! I feel like I\u2019m being forced into going through the steps to undo my mistakes as a 20-year-old and try to make things right with the Catholic Church so that my husband won\u2019t be punished anymore. I know it breaks his heart. Can you please help me understand how and why a priest would do this? I\u2019m still learning! Thank you so much. \u2013 M.<\/address>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC<\/em><\/p>\n

A:\u00a0It’s good to hear that you are attending Mass and reading Scripture. This shows that the Holy Spirit is working in your heart.<\/p>\n

To understand Church teaching on marriage, it is good to recall the words of Jesus: “Whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery” (Matthew 5:32).<\/p>\n

The Church respects the marriage that you entered at age 20 in the Methodist denomination. It assumes that that marriage is valid and thus lifelong. Thus, in the eyes of the Church your Catholic partner could not validly marry you \u2013 because you were already married. That divorce was a civil matter which morally wouldn’t invalidate the bond.<\/p>\n

Now, for a marriage to be truly valid, there are certain conditions that need to be met. Among those conditions: the couple can’t be under any pressure, and the partners have to be of sound mind and to understand the nature of marriage, etc. If a key condition is missing, that might invalidate the marriage from the start.<\/p>\n

This is what the process of an annulment seeks to discover. Was a marriage valid from the start? Or are there good reasons to believe that it was faulty?<\/p>\n

For you to validly marry your partner in the Catholic Church, you would first need a decree of nullity (the technical term for annulment).<\/p>\n

For now, as mentioned, the Church considers your first marriage valid (even if it failed). And it does not recognize the current union. That is why your partner has been told to refrain from Communion.<\/p>\n

Those chaplains aren\u2019t punishing him, but rather trying to help him see the path to continue moving toward greater union with God and greater holiness. The current challenges might be painful and confusing, but that\u2019s only because God is gently leading the both of you to a deeper communion with himself in the truth.<\/p>\n

Perhaps this is a moment to reconsider the possibility of pursuing an annulment. If you think your first union was faulty, this might be an opportunity to bring things to a closure. If an out-of-wedlock pregnancy hastened or prompted the wedding, that is something worth examining closer.<\/p>\n

If the Church grants a decree of nullity, you and your partner would be able to have your marriage convalidated (“blessed”). You wouldn’t be required to become Catholic.<\/p>\n

(For more reading see https:\/\/togetherforlifeonline.com\/catholic-annulment\/<\/a>.)<\/p>\n

This might be a moment when the Holy Spirit is leading you and your partner to a chance to have your union blessed by God. That would help the both of you on your way to eternity.<\/p>\n

Perhaps you might want to take this to prayer. Count on my prayers.<\/p>\n

Keep learning more with Ask a Priest<\/a><\/h3>\n

Got a question? Need an answer?<\/h3>\n

Today\u2019s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to AskAPriest@rcspiritual.wpenginepowered.com<\/a> and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything \u2013 liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events\u2026 Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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Edward McIlmail, LC","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","caption":"Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC"},"description":"Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC, ordained to the priesthood in 2001, taught theology and Scripture at the then Mater Ecclesiae College in Rhode Island and is now a part-time chaplain at Overbrook Academy in Greenville, R.I. He holds degrees from Holy Apostles College and Seminary in Connecticut, the Regina Apostolorum Athenaeum in Rome, and Northwestern University in Illinois. He was an assistant publisher of the National Catholic Register and Faith & Family magazine and an editor of the Zenit news agency\u2019s English edition. He has written for\u00a0SpiritualDirection.com\u00a0and\u00a0ePriest. Fr. McIlmail also worked in spiritual retreats in the Northeast, New England, the Midwest, and the South\u00a0and assisted with mission work in Mexico. Born in Philadelphia, he worked in journalism and was active in the pro-life movement before entering the novitiate of the Legion of Christ in 1992. His contributions to RCSpirituality include responding to\u00a0Ask A Priest\u00a0questions and sharing his insights in our\u00a0Weekly Newsletter.","url":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/author\/emcilmail\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153184","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/362"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=153184"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153184\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/145952"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=153184"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=153184"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=153184"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=153184"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}