{"id":153090,"date":"2019-05-07T09:30:52","date_gmt":"2019-05-07T13:30:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-should-i-forgive-when-someone-isnt-repentant\/"},"modified":"2024-10-22T15:09:50","modified_gmt":"2024-10-22T19:09:50","slug":"ask-a-priest-should-i-forgive-when-someone-isnt-repentant","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-should-i-forgive-when-someone-isnt-repentant\/","title":{"rendered":"“Ask a Priest: Should I Forgive When Someone Isn’t Repentant?”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
Q: Jesus commands us to love our enemies and to pray for them. My understanding is that the kind of love he is talking about is \u201cwilling the good of the other as other.\u201d Love isn\u2019t necessarily an emotion. Obviously, when we pray for our enemies, we should pray that they come to know the Truth who is Christ and his Church. But are we called to forgive them if they don\u2019t ask for forgiveness? I\u2019m talking about someone who has wronged you and is not sorry and has not asked for forgiveness. Is it just to forgive the unrepentant? It seems to me that it is not. God does not forgive the unrepentant (hence the existence of hell). Yet, I am troubled by one of the sayings from the cross: \u201cForgive them Father, for they know not what they do.\u201d Does God forgive the unrepentant? Does he ask us to forgive the unrepentant? \u2013 J.H.<\/address>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC<\/em><\/p>\n

A:\u00a0The short answer is yes, we should forgive even those who don’t ask forgiveness. Jesus on the cross didn’t wait for his persecutors to ask forgiveness; he went ahead and prayed for them. He left us a great model to follow.<\/p>\n

In fact, when we angrily refuse to forgive others in our hearts, we allow their flaws and offenses to control us to an extent; resentment stews within us and impedes our spiritual freedom. But Jesus wants us to live freely, in the peace and the joy that comes from the Holy Spirit. Learning to forgive others, regardless of their own limitations, releases their control on our hearts.<\/p>\n

It’s good to remember that our “forgiveness” is not the same as God’s forgiveness. We aren’t absolving someone of sin when we “forgive” them. We are simply letting go of any ill will we might have toward them, and in effect we are hoping that they reconcile with God.<\/p>\n

God’s forgiveness does involve absolution, since sin is ultimately an offense against him. When someone offends us, it is really God who is being offended.<\/p>\n

It is also good to remember that people act for all kinds of motives, sometimes out of ignorance. Ideally we should look on them with eyes of mercy, as Jesus did.<\/p>\n

Real mercy doesn’t undercut justice. Rather, it perfects justice. And it can lead those of us who do forgive a little closer to Our Lord.<\/p>\n

God, by the way, doesn’t force his mercy on anyone. If someone dies unrepentant of serious sin, God respects that decision. He is always ready to welcome a repentant sinner (his forgiveness is always being offered), but it is up to the sinner to be humble enough to receive the forgiveness. The soul gets for eternity what it chooses.<\/p>\n

Keep learning more with Ask a Priest<\/a><\/h3>\n

Got a question? Need an answer?<\/h3>\n

Today\u2019s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to AskAPriest@rcspiritual.wpenginepowered.com<\/a> and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything \u2013 liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events\u2026 Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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Edward McIlmail, LC","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","caption":"Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC"},"description":"Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC, ordained to the priesthood in 2001, taught theology and Scripture at the then Mater Ecclesiae College in Rhode Island and is now a part-time chaplain at Overbrook Academy in Greenville, R.I. He holds degrees from Holy Apostles College and Seminary in Connecticut, the Regina Apostolorum Athenaeum in Rome, and Northwestern University in Illinois. He was an assistant publisher of the National Catholic Register and Faith & Family magazine and an editor of the Zenit news agency\u2019s English edition. He has written for\u00a0SpiritualDirection.com\u00a0and\u00a0ePriest. Fr. McIlmail also worked in spiritual retreats in the Northeast, New England, the Midwest, and the South\u00a0and assisted with mission work in Mexico. Born in Philadelphia, he worked in journalism and was active in the pro-life movement before entering the novitiate of the Legion of Christ in 1992. His contributions to RCSpirituality include responding to\u00a0Ask A Priest\u00a0questions and sharing his insights in our\u00a0Weekly Newsletter.","url":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/author\/emcilmail\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153090","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/362"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=153090"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153090\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/145952"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=153090"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=153090"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=153090"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=153090"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}