{"id":153016,"date":"2018-08-14T09:30:13","date_gmt":"2018-08-14T13:30:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-how-can-i-forgive-someone-who-urged-me-to-abort\/"},"modified":"2024-10-22T15:11:49","modified_gmt":"2024-10-22T19:11:49","slug":"ask-a-priest-how-can-i-forgive-someone-who-urged-me-to-abort","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-how-can-i-forgive-someone-who-urged-me-to-abort\/","title":{"rendered":"“Ask a Priest: How Can I Forgive Someone Who Urged Me to Abort?”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
Q: I hear God telling me I need to give and forgive … and I know whom he’s referencing with the forgiveness part, but I don’t know how to do it. A former co-worker of mine advised me to abort my son when I told her I was pregnant again. Now that my son is here, and I can stare in the face of my sweet baby, her words sting even more. I have been growing in anger toward those comments that were made almost a year ago. It sounds silly to ask how to forgive, but I’m at a loss. Please help. Thank you. \u2013 N.T.<\/address>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC<\/em><\/p>\n

A:\u00a0It is good to hear that you have been blessed with a baby. The little guy is one of God’s great gifts in your life.<\/p>\n

In regard to that co-worker, it might be helpful to meditate on Jesus’ words from the cross: “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).<\/p>\n

We live amid a culture of death, and many people have soaked up its diabolical thinking. That co-worker seems to be one of them.<\/p>\n

That means that she is missing out on something very important. The devil has wormed his way into her thinking. She is someone more to be pitied than despised. And who knows \u2013 maybe she has something in her own past that haunts her.<\/p>\n

In any case, it is good to remember that Jesus died on the cross for her, too. And if Our Lord wants you to forgive her, he will give you the grace to do so.<\/p>\n

Even at a practical, psychological level there is a good reason for forgiveness. Holding on to anger can eat away at your spirit. That is the devil up to his tricks: He wants you to burn your energy, not on raising your family, but on resenting this co-worker. You probably don’t want to give the devil that satisfaction.<\/p>\n

For now, try not to worry about your feelings toward this woman. Forgiveness is an act of the will, not the emotions. You can say, “I forgive her, Lord,” and mean it — even if the ill feelings linger.<\/p>\n

If you can keep on making that act of forgiveness, those ill feelings will fade. Don’t worry about those ill feelings. They will take a while to fade. Feelings are like that — they lag behind our wills.)<\/p>\n

For more reading see Facing Forgiveness: A Catholic’s Guide to Letting Go of Anger and Welcoming Reconciliation<\/em><\/a><\/strong>, co-authored by now Archbishop Gregory Aymond of New Orleans.<\/p>\n

See an act of forgiveness as something that will benefit you tremendously. It will free up your heart for the little ones God has entrusted to your care.<\/p>\n

Keep learning more with Ask a Priest<\/a><\/h3>\n

Got a question? Need an answer?<\/h3>\n

Today\u2019s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to AskAPriest@rcspiritual.wpenginepowered.com<\/a> and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything \u2013 liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events\u2026 Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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Edward McIlmail, LC","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","caption":"Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC"},"description":"Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC, ordained to the priesthood in 2001, taught theology and Scripture at the then Mater Ecclesiae College in Rhode Island and is now a part-time chaplain at Overbrook Academy in Greenville, R.I. He holds degrees from Holy Apostles College and Seminary in Connecticut, the Regina Apostolorum Athenaeum in Rome, and Northwestern University in Illinois. He was an assistant publisher of the National Catholic Register and Faith & Family magazine and an editor of the Zenit news agency\u2019s English edition. He has written for\u00a0SpiritualDirection.com\u00a0and\u00a0ePriest. Fr. McIlmail also worked in spiritual retreats in the Northeast, New England, the Midwest, and the South\u00a0and assisted with mission work in Mexico. Born in Philadelphia, he worked in journalism and was active in the pro-life movement before entering the novitiate of the Legion of Christ in 1992. His contributions to RCSpirituality include responding to\u00a0Ask A Priest\u00a0questions and sharing his insights in our\u00a0Weekly Newsletter.","url":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/author\/emcilmail\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153016","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/362"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=153016"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153016\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/145952"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=153016"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=153016"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=153016"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=153016"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}