{"id":152974,"date":"2018-02-16T10:00:37","date_gmt":"2018-02-16T15:00:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-is-it-ok-to-date-someone-who-is-cohabitating\/"},"modified":"2024-10-22T15:12:37","modified_gmt":"2024-10-22T19:12:37","slug":"ask-a-priest-is-it-ok-to-date-someone-who-is-cohabitating","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-is-it-ok-to-date-someone-who-is-cohabitating\/","title":{"rendered":"“Ask a Priest: Is It OK to Date Someone Who Is Cohabitating?”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
Q:\u00a0I know this woman who does not believe in the sacrament of marriage. Her culture believes that living together is like being married. She has been living with a boyfriend for quite a while. Recently, she has shown a strong interest in me. I am Catholic and recognize a couple as married only if they did it in Church. My question is, if I pursue her and date her would it be considered adultery? I have been avoiding her out of fear of committing adultery, but technically she never got married. So what is the best approach? \u2013 J.<\/address>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC<\/em><\/p>\n

A:\u00a0Technically, it wouldn’t be adultery if you simply date her. She isn’t married and, at least in theory, is eligible to date.<\/u><\/u>\n<\/p>\n

However, you might ask whether dating her is going to put you in the near occasion of grave sin. A woman who has been living with a man for a while is probably accustomed to and likely expects, shall we say, a certain level of physical intimacy in a relationship. Which in this case would mean fornication, an objectively grave sin.<\/u><\/u><\/p>\n

Beyond that, there is the basic decision of whether you want to get involved with someone who is living with a man. This could lead to a lot of tension, to put it mildly. One wonders what this woman is thinking about, as she lives with one man and sends out signals to another.<\/u><\/u><\/p>\n

You would want to proceed with great caution. Ideally any romantic relationship you are in should have marriage on the horizon, and a big part of marriage involves the spouses helping each other grow in holiness and get to heaven.<\/u><\/u><\/p>\n

You might want to take this question to prayer: Is this a woman who will help you grow in holiness and reach heaven? I hope you decide wisely.<\/u><\/u><\/u>\u00a0<\/u><\/p>\n

By the way, the Church respects marriages that are contracted between non-Catholics and non-Christians. There is a natural bond in marriage that needs to be respected, even if, in the case of non-Christians, the bond isn’t sacramental.<\/p>\n

Keep learning more with Ask a Priest<\/a><\/h3>\n

Got a question? Need an answer?<\/h3>\n

Today\u2019s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to AskAPriest@rcspiritual.wpenginepowered.com<\/a> and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything \u2013 liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events\u2026 Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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He was an assistant publisher of the National Catholic Register and Faith & Family magazine and an editor of the Zenit news agency\u2019s English edition. He has written for\u00a0SpiritualDirection.com\u00a0and\u00a0ePriest. Fr. McIlmail also worked in spiritual retreats in the Northeast, New England, the Midwest, and the South\u00a0and assisted with mission work in Mexico. Born in Philadelphia, he worked in journalism and was active in the pro-life movement before entering the novitiate of the Legion of Christ in 1992. His contributions to RCSpirituality include responding to\u00a0Ask A Priest\u00a0questions and sharing his insights in our\u00a0Weekly Newsletter.","url":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/author\/emcilmail\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/152974","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/362"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=152974"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/152974\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/145952"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=152974"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=152974"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=152974"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=152974"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}