{"id":152963,"date":"2017-11-10T06:00:53","date_gmt":"2017-11-10T11:00:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-what-to-do-about-emotionally-needy-relatives\/"},"modified":"2024-10-22T15:12:51","modified_gmt":"2024-10-22T19:12:51","slug":"ask-a-priest-what-to-do-about-emotionally-needy-relatives","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-what-to-do-about-emotionally-needy-relatives\/","title":{"rendered":"“Ask a Priest: What to Do About Emotionally Needy Relatives?”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
Q: I have two extremely needy family members who only have me to help, in every way but financially. They dump on me and give me a hard time. It is really difficult for me. I have to survive, and they are so draining. Please help me to cope. \u2013 C.<\/address>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC<\/em><\/p>\n

A: I’m sorry to hear about your situation. It isn’t unusual that the biggest crosses in our lives can be the people closest to us. I don’t know any specifics about your life, so the advice here will be general.<\/p>\n

In situations such as these, it is crucial to have a good prayer life. That is because you need the help of the Holy Spirit in order to be prudent, that is, to make the right decision in the right moment.<\/p>\n

I mention this because it is one thing to help others in need. It is another thing, however, to let others form an unhealthy dependence on us.<\/p>\n

Everyone has a cross to bear, and sometimes we have to draw a line and to let others carry their own cross.<\/p>\n

This doesn’t imply that we should neglect others. But we do need to watch out for our own well-being and balance. We shouldn’t feel as though we have to give in to every desire of other people, to the point that we burn out.<\/p>\n

Perhaps it would be good to look for a moment when you can share your concerns with these members individually. Let each know that you love him or her. But don’t be afraid to draw some boundaries if need be. Even a bit of fraternal correction can help at times, if done charitably and prudently.<\/p>\n

For more reading you might find light and encouragement in Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No, to “Take Control of Your Life<\/a><\/strong>,” by Henry Cloud and John Townsend.<\/p>\n

xOn a more positive note, remember that God allows difficulties in our lives to help us grow in virtue. They can push us to work on our patience and mercy. They also give us a taste of what Jesus himself faced as a human (for more reading see the Aleteia article HERE<\/a>).<\/strong><\/p>\n

I hope some of this helps.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Keep learning more with Ask a Priest<\/a><\/h3>\n

Got a question? Need an answer?<\/h3>\n

Today\u2019s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to AskAPriest@rcspiritual.wpenginepowered.com<\/a> and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything \u2013 liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events\u2026 Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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He was an assistant publisher of the National Catholic Register and Faith & Family magazine and an editor of the Zenit news agency\u2019s English edition. He has written for\u00a0SpiritualDirection.com\u00a0and\u00a0ePriest. Fr. McIlmail also worked in spiritual retreats in the Northeast, New England, the Midwest, and the South\u00a0and assisted with mission work in Mexico. Born in Philadelphia, he worked in journalism and was active in the pro-life movement before entering the novitiate of the Legion of Christ in 1992. His contributions to RCSpirituality include responding to\u00a0Ask A Priest\u00a0questions and sharing his insights in our\u00a0Weekly Newsletter.","url":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/author\/emcilmail\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/152963","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/362"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=152963"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/152963\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/145952"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=152963"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=152963"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=152963"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=152963"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}