{"id":152957,"date":"2017-10-31T05:00:20","date_gmt":"2017-10-31T09:00:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-should-i-date-someone-who-backs-same-sex-marriage\/"},"modified":"2024-10-22T15:13:49","modified_gmt":"2024-10-22T19:13:49","slug":"ask-a-priest-should-i-date-someone-who-backs-same-sex-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-should-i-date-someone-who-backs-same-sex-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;Ask a Priest: Should I Date Someone Who Backs Same-Sex &#8220;Marriage&#8221;?"},"content":{"rendered":"<blockquote>\n<address>Q: I&#8217;ve been friends with this guy for almost a year, and we recently decided that we should go on a date. We&#8217;re both Catholic, but he doesn&#8217;t agree with the Church&#8217;s teaching on gay marriage. I&#8217;m trying not to overthink, but does that mean that I shouldn&#8217;t date him? \u2013 H.<\/address>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><em>Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC<\/em><\/p>\n<p>A: It is good to hear that you are serious about following the Church&#8217;s teaching on this issue. It is not a popular teaching in some parts nowadays.<\/p>\n<p>The purpose of dating is to see whether two people are compatible for marriage. It involves a journey, and people can change on a journey. For one thing, they can have an impact on each other.<\/p>\n<p>Perhaps you could ask yourself why you are considering dating him after a year of being friends. You obviously see something good in him; otherwise you would have either broken off the friendship by now, or you would have excluded him from a list of possible suitors.<\/p>\n<p>Two questions are worth focusing on.<\/p>\n<p>First, is this a non-negotiable issue for you? Is agreement with Church teaching on this issue one of the prerequisites you would expect in a husband?<\/p>\n<p>Being such a key issue, it is understandable if it is a non-negotiable issue for you. Just think of what would happen every time a homosexual couple want to &#8220;marry,&#8221; and you and your husband are invited. Imagine if you have to debate the issue all over, every time.<\/p>\n<p>Second &#8212; and this would take a while to tell &#8212; would you see a change in your friend&#8217;s thinking over time? That is, if you started to date, with the idea that maybe you could help him see the light, you would want to look for progress.<\/p>\n<p>Prudence is helpful here, because a few unexpected things could happen.<\/p>\n<p>For openers, you might start to fall in love with him, and, in the interest of maintaining peace, the same-sex &#8220;marriage&#8221; issue starts to fade into the background.<\/p>\n<p>Or you could be tempted to think, &#8220;Sure, he&#8217;s not 100% on board yet &#8230; but wait till we get married &#8212; I&#8217;ll change him.&#8221; More than a few women have made the mistake of thinking they were going to change their man after the wedding day.<\/p>\n<p>If you want to be pro-active and press the issue a bit, you might recommend that both you and he read a book or two on marriage or theology of the body, and then discuss the works. (Christopher West, <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/www.christopherwest.com\/\">www.christopherwest.com<\/a><\/strong>, has some accessible material.)<\/p>\n<p>This would be a way to educate your friend. You might help to win him over to the Church&#8217;s thinking. Or he might dig in his heels. Whatever he does, it is better that you see his reaction sooner rather than later.<\/p>\n<p>In the meantime intensify your prayer life. Keep your friend in your intentions. Stay close to the sacraments and the Blessed Virgin Mary.<\/p>\n<h3>Keep learning more with <a href=\"https:\/\/rcspiritual.wpenginepowered.com\/ask-a-priest\/\">Ask a Priest<\/a><\/h3>\n<h3>Got a question? Need an answer?<\/h3>\n<p>Today\u2019s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&amp;A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to <a href=\"mailto:AskAPriest@rcspiritual.wpenginepowered.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">AskAPriest@rcspiritual.wpenginepowered.com<\/a> and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything \u2013 liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events\u2026 Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Q: I&#8217;ve been friends with this guy for almost a year, and we recently decided that we should go on a date. We&#8217;re both Catholic, but he doesn&#8217;t agree with [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":362,"featured_media":145952,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[3718],"tags":[3854,3855,3295,4965,4263,4002,4005,4486],"post_folder":[],"class_list":["post-152957","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ask-a-priest","tag-ask-a-catholic-priest","tag-ask-a-priest","tag-catholic","tag-churchs-teaching","tag-dating","tag-gay-marriage","tag-same-sex-marriage","tag-same-sex-dating"],"pp_statuses_selecting_workflow":false,"pp_workflow_action":"current","pp_status_selection":"","pp_force_visibility":null,"pp_subpost_visibility":null,"pp_inherited_force_visibility":null,"pp_inherited_subpost_visibility":null,"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v28.8 (Yoast SEO v28.8) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>&quot;Ask a Priest: Should I Date Someone Who Backs Same-Sex &quot;Marriage&quot;? - Regnum Christi<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-should-i-date-someone-who-backs-same-sex-marriage\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"&quot;Ask a Priest: Should I Date Someone Who Backs Same-Sex &quot;Marriage&quot;?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Q: I&#8217;ve been friends with this guy for almost a year, and we recently decided that we should go on a date. 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