{"id":145554,"date":"2024-12-31T10:30:00","date_gmt":"2024-12-31T15:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/?p=145554"},"modified":"2024-09-17T11:28:28","modified_gmt":"2024-09-17T15:28:28","slug":"ask-a-priest-may-i-romantically-text-a-woman-whos-not-my-wife","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-may-i-romantically-text-a-woman-whos-not-my-wife\/","title":{"rendered":"“Ask a Priest: May I Romantically Text a Woman Who\u2019s Not My Wife?”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
Q: I’m a 74-year-old married man, who has been texting with a woman who is much younger and lives on another continent. I plan to honor my obligation to my wife, but the marriage is loveless. After many long and deep conversations with this younger woman, there have been messages of love between us. As long as the communication is chaste, is it OK to continue? \u2013 J.<\/address>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC<\/em><\/p>\n

A:\u00a0Honoring your obligation to your wife includes avoiding any inappropriate interaction with other women \u2013 texting included.<\/p>\n

It’s a form of flirting, and it isn’t a way to show fidelity to your wife.<\/p>\n

You mention that your marriage is loveless. Love is an act of the will, not the emotions. In that sense, a loveless marriage is chosen<\/em>. It doesn\u2019t just happen.<\/p>\n

You committed to your wife freely. This is a moment when the demands of marriage might be costlier.<\/p>\n

Perhaps you might not feel the same “rewards” from marriage as before. That is OK. That means this is an opportunity to purify your love, to stay dedicated to your spouse for her sake and for God\u2019s glory.<\/p>\n

It would be good to stop the texting immediately and to focus on loving your wife.<\/p>\n

Try praying with her and perhaps getting to daily Mass together. You might want to get to confession, too.<\/p>\n

Your mission is to help your wife get to heaven. Presumably, you want to get there, too. But you haven\u2019t crossed the finish line yet.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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He was an assistant publisher of the National Catholic Register and Faith & Family magazine and an editor of the Zenit news agency\u2019s English edition. He has written for\u00a0SpiritualDirection.com\u00a0and\u00a0ePriest. Fr. McIlmail also worked in spiritual retreats in the Northeast, New England, the Midwest, and the South\u00a0and assisted with mission work in Mexico. Born in Philadelphia, he worked in journalism and was active in the pro-life movement before entering the novitiate of the Legion of Christ in 1992. His contributions to RCSpirituality include responding to\u00a0Ask A Priest\u00a0questions and sharing his insights in our\u00a0Weekly Newsletter.","url":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/author\/emcilmail\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/145554","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/362"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=145554"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/145554\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/145952"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=145554"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=145554"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=145554"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=145554"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}