{"id":145484,"date":"2024-05-03T09:30:00","date_gmt":"2024-05-03T13:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-how-do-i-love-someone-who-annoys-me\/"},"modified":"2024-09-17T11:30:47","modified_gmt":"2024-09-17T15:30:47","slug":"ask-a-priest-how-do-i-love-someone-who-annoys-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-how-do-i-love-someone-who-annoys-me\/","title":{"rendered":"“Ask a Priest: How Do I Love Someone Who Annoys Me?”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
Q: I’m struggling to love a certain woman in my parish. I realized that my love is so imperfect. When she annoys me, I find myself ruminating about what she did (even when it’s minor). It becomes a preoccupation, and this is preventing me from loving her as Christ commanded us. I can’t figure out why she annoys me so much! So how do I love her? How do I deny the feelings within me and just love her for who she is? \u2013 Mary<\/p>\n

\n<\/address>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC<\/em><\/p>\n

A:\u00a0It is good to remember that Jesus asked us to love everyone. He didn’t say that we must like<\/em>\u00a0everyone.<\/p>\n

Some people will naturally annoy us. This is the human condition.<\/p>\n

This doesn’t mean, however, that you can’t love this person.<\/p>\n

Love is an act of the will, not the feelings. We can’t control our feelings, but we can control our will.<\/p>\n

You can say, \u201cI will be charitable and respectful toward this person because she is a daughter of God and has the image of God in her. Jesus suffered and died on a cross for her — so that’s a good reason for me to love her.\u201d<\/p>\n

If you find it difficult to love this person, that is OK. That gives you a chance to purify your love.<\/p>\n

Loving those who are easy to get along with doesn\u2019t require much effort. But to love someone who is difficult takes effort. And that is precisely when you can show yourself a real Christian.<\/p>\n

Think about it: This woman can help you grow in holiness.<\/p>\n

Count on my prayers.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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He was an assistant publisher of the National Catholic Register and Faith & Family magazine and an editor of the Zenit news agency\u2019s English edition. He has written for\u00a0SpiritualDirection.com\u00a0and\u00a0ePriest. Fr. McIlmail also worked in spiritual retreats in the Northeast, New England, the Midwest, and the South\u00a0and assisted with mission work in Mexico. Born in Philadelphia, he worked in journalism and was active in the pro-life movement before entering the novitiate of the Legion of Christ in 1992. His contributions to RCSpirituality include responding to\u00a0Ask A Priest\u00a0questions and sharing his insights in our\u00a0Weekly Newsletter.","url":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/author\/emcilmail\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/145484","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/362"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=145484"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/145484\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/145952"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=145484"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=145484"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=145484"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=145484"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}