{"id":145428,"date":"2023-10-20T09:30:00","date_gmt":"2023-10-20T13:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-what-if-i-dont-want-my-son-near-a-certain-girl\/"},"modified":"2024-09-17T11:34:51","modified_gmt":"2024-09-17T15:34:51","slug":"ask-a-priest-what-if-i-dont-want-my-son-near-a-certain-girl","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-what-if-i-dont-want-my-son-near-a-certain-girl\/","title":{"rendered":"“Ask a Priest: What If I Don\u2019t Want My Son Near a Certain Girl?”"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Q: I have been friends with a woman and her family for 10 years. We met through Eucharistic adoration, and I assumed they are just like me in my beliefs. Although we got along, I noticed her daughters always talked about boyfriends and having husbands\u2014to the point that two of them fought over who was going to marry my son. I didn\u2019t think much of it at the time, since my son was about 9 years old, and her kids were even younger. Fast-forward seven years, and our families now live in separate states. My friend suggested that my son chat with one of her daughters. I thought that was OK \u2026 until I saw the teen\u2019s TikTok videos full of inappropriate dancing and lots of makeup with long nails. One video showed her sticking her tongue out. Seeing that, I urged my now 16-year-old son to cut ties with the girl. I told him that I had made a mistake in letting them chat, and advised him to choose friends carefully. The problem is we are going to visit the state where this family lives, and my friend wants to meet up and says that her daughter can\u2019t wait to see my son. My son can be very stubborn, but I don\u2019t want them to even be friends because she\u2019s not good enough for him. What should I do? \u2013 A.<\/address>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC<\/em><\/p>\n

A: Since I don’t know how your son or your friend or her daughter perceives things, I won’t want to try to referee anything here. (Note: That\u2019s not<\/em> meant as a defense for racy TikTok videos.)<\/p>\n

That said, it\u2019s good to remember that your 16-year-old is at or close to the age when he will want to make his own decisions about the people he interacts with.<\/p>\n

You could press him to avoid this young lady, but that could backfire and tempt him to keep in touch with her secretly, just to show his spirit of independence.<\/p>\n

The better approach might be to keep dialoguing with your son and to share with him how modesty in a woman shows her character, etc. You might point out the things he does\u2014his comportment, his modesty in speech and dress\u2014that make you proud of him.<\/p>\n

On a separate note, it’s good to keep in mind that, yes, adolescents do foolish things.<\/p>\n

Many of today\u2019s kids have grown in a cultural swamp. And like kids in past generations, they imitate what they see around them and in the media.<\/p>\n

So don\u2019t be too quick to write off a young teen because of her video indiscretions. She needs guidance \u2026 and possibly the positive example of more-mature teens.<\/p>\n

In any case, even if you manage to keep your son away from this TikToker, he will likely run into others who have posted far racier things.<\/p>\n

So focus on forming him well in the faith. That will help him to navigate in a world awash with wickedness.<\/p>\n

Perhaps this is a moment to intensify your prayers for the teens. Especially at Eucharistic adoration.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Q: I have been friends with a woman and her family for 10 years. We met through Eucharistic adoration, and I assumed they are just like me in my beliefs. 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Edward McIlmail, LC","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","caption":"Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC"},"description":"Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC, ordained to the priesthood in 2001, taught theology and Scripture at the then Mater Ecclesiae College in Rhode Island and is now a part-time chaplain at Overbrook Academy in Greenville, R.I. He holds degrees from Holy Apostles College and Seminary in Connecticut, the Regina Apostolorum Athenaeum in Rome, and Northwestern University in Illinois. He was an assistant publisher of the National Catholic Register and Faith & Family magazine and an editor of the Zenit news agency\u2019s English edition. He has written for\u00a0SpiritualDirection.com\u00a0and\u00a0ePriest. Fr. McIlmail also worked in spiritual retreats in the Northeast, New England, the Midwest, and the South\u00a0and assisted with mission work in Mexico. Born in Philadelphia, he worked in journalism and was active in the pro-life movement before entering the novitiate of the Legion of Christ in 1992. His contributions to RCSpirituality include responding to\u00a0Ask A Priest\u00a0questions and sharing his insights in our\u00a0Weekly Newsletter.","url":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/author\/emcilmail\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/145428","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/362"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=145428"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/145428\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/145952"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=145428"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=145428"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=145428"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=145428"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}