{"id":145388,"date":"2023-06-13T09:30:00","date_gmt":"2023-06-13T13:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-may-i-unload-on-bullies-from-the-past\/"},"modified":"2024-09-17T11:36:57","modified_gmt":"2024-09-17T15:36:57","slug":"ask-a-priest-may-i-unload-on-bullies-from-the-past","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-may-i-unload-on-bullies-from-the-past\/","title":{"rendered":"“Ask a Priest: May I Unload on Bullies From the Past?”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
Q: I graduated high school recently and was wondering if I ever see my high school bullies, is it OK to cuss them out? It doesn\u2019t feel right for me just to ignore them. I was a shy girl, and I never did or said anything mean to these people in the first place. And since no one is telling me how to deal with bullies, I want to go all in — is that fine? Thank you. \u2013 Amanda<\/address>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC<\/em><\/p>\n

A: It would be better to forgive the bullies and move on.<\/p>\n

Jesus tells us to forgive others, just as God forgives our sins.<\/p>\n

Jesus\u2019 words in Matthew 6:14-15 are worth remembering: \u201cIf you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your transgressions.\u201d<\/p>\n

You don’t want the memory of their bullying you to drag you down. You don’t want to give them that “victory.” You can do better than that.<\/p>\n

In any case, bullies can end up very sad people if they don’t change.<\/p>\n

But people can change. Even bullies can change and become better people over the years. They can mature and see the errors of their past.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not a bad idea to assume that they were immature and insecure at the time and might have been wrestling with lots of issues and not aware of how they impacted others. To paraphrase the wise words of Jesus, \u201cFather, forgive them, they knew not what they did.\u201d<\/p>\n

In any case, forgiving them will take a load off your shoulders. For the damage we do to ourselves through unforgiveness is usually far greater than the damage that others have done to us.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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He was an assistant publisher of the National Catholic Register and Faith & Family magazine and an editor of the Zenit news agency\u2019s English edition. He has written for\u00a0SpiritualDirection.com\u00a0and\u00a0ePriest. Fr. McIlmail also worked in spiritual retreats in the Northeast, New England, the Midwest, and the South\u00a0and assisted with mission work in Mexico. Born in Philadelphia, he worked in journalism and was active in the pro-life movement before entering the novitiate of the Legion of Christ in 1992. His contributions to RCSpirituality include responding to\u00a0Ask A Priest\u00a0questions and sharing his insights in our\u00a0Weekly Newsletter.","url":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/author\/emcilmail\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/145388","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/362"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=145388"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/145388\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/145952"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=145388"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=145388"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=145388"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=145388"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}