{"id":145335,"date":"2022-10-14T09:30:00","date_gmt":"2022-10-14T13:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-what-if-a-roommate-wants-her-boyfriend-to-stay-with-her\/"},"modified":"2024-09-17T11:42:35","modified_gmt":"2024-09-17T15:42:35","slug":"ask-a-priest-what-if-a-roommate-wants-her-boyfriend-to-stay-with-her","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/ask-a-priest-what-if-a-roommate-wants-her-boyfriend-to-stay-with-her\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;Ask a Priest: What If a Roommate Wants Her Boyfriend to Stay With Her?&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<blockquote>\n<address>Q: I am in university, and one of my flat mates who is non-Catholic \/ non-religious asked me if it was okay for me if she brought her boyfriend to stay with her (in her room). We will be sharing the same bathroom and kitchen as her, but she and her boyfriend will be in her room as we have individual rooms. I was wondering if it was okay that I said it\u2019s fine by me or should I have said no. This is because she is not a Christian, so I thought there was no purpose telling her about the chance of sin because they are not religious and don\u2019t even know the fundamental beliefs, and I just met her only a few weeks ago. I am just scared of sinning. Thank you for your help. \u2013 T.<\/address>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><em>Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC<\/em><\/p>\n<p>A: It is certainly legitimate for you to tell your roomie that you aren\u2019t comfortable with a man staying overnight, regardless of the moral implications. You have a right to feel safe in your own home.<\/p>\n<p>You mention that this woman is <em>one<\/em> of your flat mates. If you are in an apartment with multiple rooms and shared living space, you might want to look at the legal side.<\/p>\n<p>For instance, are overnight guests allowed in your flat? There might be legal rules that tie your hands \u2013 or perhaps give you leverage, if the lease limits the number of people allowed on the premises overnight.<\/p>\n<p>In any case, you are justified in not wanting to support anything that you know or believe to be objectively sinful or at least a near occasion of grave sin.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s understandable that you roommate might not be familiar with basic moral norms if she indeed is \u201cnon-religious.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Perhaps your roomie&#8217;s question caught you by surprise and you didn&#8217;t want to go into &#8220;lecture mode.&#8221; Nevertheless, your acquiescence could be construed as approval.<\/p>\n<p>You might want to approach your roommate in a calm moment, and say that her initial question caught you off-guard, but that, on second thought, you don\u2019t feel comfortable with having a man on the premises overnight.<\/p>\n<p>You could explain that the prospect of bumping into a man in the middle of the night in the bathroom is not appealing.<\/p>\n<p>If pressed, you could also share your beliefs about chastity, etc.<\/p>\n<p>Perhaps you might take this to prayer first. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you and your roomie. Try praying and offering sacrifices for her. Jesus wants her to get to heaven, too.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Q: I am in university, and one of my flat mates who is non-Catholic \/ non-religious asked me if it was okay for me if she brought her boyfriend to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":362,"featured_media":145952,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[3718],"tags":[6661,4552],"post_folder":[],"class_list":["post-145335","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ask-a-priest","tag-living-the-faith","tag-moral-issues"],"pp_statuses_selecting_workflow":false,"pp_workflow_action":"current","pp_status_selection":"","pp_force_visibility":null,"pp_subpost_visibility":null,"pp_inherited_force_visibility":null,"pp_inherited_subpost_visibility":null,"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v28.8 (Yoast SEO v28.8) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>&quot;Ask a Priest: What If a Roommate Wants Her Boyfriend to Stay With Her?&quot; 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Edward McIlmail, LC","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/485147bd811c2a8642adf1f1806f85f0adef2b00ef8ccabc9b46f8420af19e16?s=96&d=blank&r=g","caption":"Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC"},"description":"Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC, ordained to the priesthood in 2001, taught theology and Scripture at the then Mater Ecclesiae College in Rhode Island and is now a part-time chaplain at Overbrook Academy in Greenville, R.I. He holds degrees from Holy Apostles College and Seminary in Connecticut, the Regina Apostolorum Athenaeum in Rome, and Northwestern University in Illinois. He was an assistant publisher of the National Catholic Register and Faith &amp; Family magazine and an editor of the Zenit news agency\u2019s English edition. He has written for\u00a0SpiritualDirection.com\u00a0and\u00a0ePriest. Fr. McIlmail also worked in spiritual retreats in the Northeast, New England, the Midwest, and the South\u00a0and assisted with mission work in Mexico. Born in Philadelphia, he worked in journalism and was active in the pro-life movement before entering the novitiate of the Legion of Christ in 1992. His contributions to RCSpirituality include responding to\u00a0Ask A Priest\u00a0questions and sharing his insights in our\u00a0Weekly Newsletter.","url":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/author\/emcilmail\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/145335","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/362"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=145335"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/145335\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/145952"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=145335"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=145335"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=145335"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.regnumchristi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=145335"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}