opposition archivos

“Ask a Priest: What If My Husband Wants My Son to Quit the Seminary?”

September 12, 2023 / Ask a Priest, Vocation

Q: My son joined the seminary in June when my husband was away for work. Since coming home, he has missed our son and keeps talking about him and asks, “How can God take away our son?” My son is 23 years old and dreamed of becoming a priest since he was 16. My husband wants me to go to the seminary and bring my son back home and to stop all his church activities, and to work in a company office instead. I have always supported my son to become a priest and want to see him at the altar celebrating Mass. I don’t know what to do. My husband is fighting with me every day to bring my son back. Father, please advise me what to do and how to convince my husband to let our son stay in the seminary? – R.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: It’s great to hear that your son is in the seminary and pursuing a possible priestly vocation.

For the record, let’s recall that a vocation is a call from God. Ultimately, it’s not about what a parent wants for a son. It’s what God wants – and what a young man is willing to saying yes to.

Now, obviously, I don’t know how your husband and son view the situation, so my observations here are a bit tentative.

It’s understandable that a parent could find it difficult to accept a son’s vocation to the priesthood or religious life. The parent might have other plans for the son, including the carrying on of the family name.

Here you might also remind him that all life belongs to God. Our Lord has certainly blessed your husband in many ways by giving him you and your son. Maybe God is now seeking some generosity from your husband in return.

You might help your husband see that the vocation is in fact a gift for the family, and that God has a way of blessing those who are generous with him.

That your husband wants your son to stop “all his church activities” might indicate a lack of basic faith — or perhaps a parental fear in the wake of all the Church scandals of the last generation.

In any case, your son is an adult and can make his own decisions. You might want to calmly point that out to your husband and invite him to pray about it.

(It’s interesting that your husband is pressing you to pull your son out of the seminary. But that’s another matter.)

For your own peace of mind, you might want to tell your husband that you understand his concerns, but that he doesn’t need to keep bringing up the subject. If he feels strongly about the issue, he could speak to your son himself.

You might want to intensify your prayers for your husband and son. The devil likes to derail families … and priestly vocations. Count on my prayers.

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St Donatian, St Laetus and companions

September 6, 2023 / Uncle Eddy

Dear Liddy,

You shouldn’t be surprised at running into opposition from fellow Catholics. We are all sinners, and the Church has suffered from internal strife since the very beginning (wasn’t Jesus’ betrayer one of the Church’s first bishops?). Our Lord told that parable about the wheat and the weeds growing up side-by-side and only being separated at harvest time, and he told it for a reason. You just continue along your path of virtue, prayer, and apostolic action, collaborating with all those who love God and his Church, and don’t let petty intrigues sidetrack you. God will take care of the rest. He may even use your example of patience and charity to win some of his rebels back into the peace and fruitfulness of obedience.

Today’s saints had to suffer a similar difficulty. They lived in North Africa at the time of King Huneric, who was an Arian (the Arian heresy spread far and wide in the early years, and for a long time threatened to destroy the Church entirely). He attempted to forcefully remove true Catholics from his entire realm. To this end he destroyed churches, burned books, and imprisoned those he could not convert through fear or bribery. St Laetus was a faithful bishop who infuriated the king, and suffered for it by being cast into a foul dungeon, only emerging in order to be burnt alive. Donatian and four other bishops loyal to the true faith were driven out of the city and left to survive on their own in the wilderness. During a journey King Huneric ran across them, and they denounced his heresy and cruelty. On the spot he ordered his mounted soldiers to ride them down. They were driven into the desert like cattle, mutilated, and left to die of exposure and starvation.

So you see, my faithful niece, you are not alone in facing opposition from those you thought were “on the same team.” But just as Arianism was defeated by the fidelity and charity of ancient saints, so you can win over your detractors by prayer and virtue – just never let them stop your efforts to spread the Kingdom.

Faithfully yours, Uncle Eddy

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“Ask a Priest: What If Relatives Are Blocking Me From the Church?”

August 29, 2023 / Ask a Priest, Family, Other Faiths

Q: A few years back my dad baptized me in the Name of the Father, in the Name of the Son and in the Name of the Holy Spirit (I asked him to), and I now wonder if it’s considered valid? The reason I asked my dad to baptize me was because I desperately wanted to be baptized as Jesus said to do. But my entire family was (and sadly still are) Jehovah’s Witnesses and wanted me to be baptized into the JW organization, and I knew they were wrong. My dad was the only one who listened, and he agreed I should be baptized in the Trinitarian formula. My dad passed away in 2019 from cancer (I cry every day still), and I live with my aunt due to disability. I know my aunt and her family care about me, but in the end they are JWs and try to get me to be one. I want to be Catholic and have studied Catholicism as best I can for a couple of years now (I do have a hard time learning, but I still try). I am sad that I may never be confirmed Catholic due to the fact of my family’s forbidding it. I also can’t drive, and they would never take me to a Catholic parish. So, I pray and try to be a good example. I’m sorry for babbling. My overall question is, is at least my baptism considered valid since it was done in the Trinitarian formula with the right intent? Thank you for any help. – C.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: My heart goes out to you! Your great desire for baptism and your perseverance in the face of so much opposition to become a Catholic is inspiring.

I’m sorry to hear about your situation and about the passing of your dad. May Our Lord rest his soul.

First off, your relatives have no right to block your religious decisions. You have a right to pursue your interest in the Catholic faith.

If you were a minor (which apparently isn’t the case, judging by the original e-mail), you would want to reach out to Child Protective Services. This would help put your family on notice that what they are doing could be considered a form of abuse; that is, denying a legitimate request for spiritual counseling and help.

As an adult, you could discreetly reach out to the nearest Catholic parish and explain your situation. Perhaps someone could arrange a ride for you so that you could attend an RCIA program and even get to Mass occasionally.

As for the baptism, it’s hard to say whether it was valid. The wording of the formula you mention – with the triple use of “in the name of” — implies a baptism in three names rather than one name (see the Catechism, No. 1240). This could be problematic.

For the moment, though, you have certainly expressed a baptism of desire (for more reading see this post).

The best thing would be to speak with the local Catholic pastor. If there are doubts about the validity of what was done, a conditional baptism could be carried out. This means that you would go through a baptismal rite just in case the first baptism wasn’t really valid. This could happen if you decide to join the Church later (as the end point of the RCIA).

In the meantime, it would be good to continue to study the Catholic faith. There are lots of materials online, including the Compendium of the Catechism.

Also helpful is the Catholic Answers site, which has insightful articles about the Jehovah’s Witnesses, including their beliefs and ways to challenge and evangelize them.

You might want to intensify your prayers for your JW relatives. Jesus loves them, too, and wants them to come to the fullness of the truth. Count on my prayers.

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“Ask a Priest: What If Mom Opposes My Possible Vocation?”

November 8, 2022 / Ask a Priest, Mass, the Eucharist and Priests, Vocation

Q: For a couple of months, I have been discerning a vocation to the priesthood, and I can now say that I do feel as though I have a vocation. My concern is that my mother is against me becoming a priest. I mentioned to her about my vocation and she reacted in a negative way. Ever since then, I have not mentioned it to her. I’m 18 and plan to join seminary in about two to three years. But I can’t help thinking, what if, when I tell her I’m leaving, she acts in a disordered way and tries to prevent me from going? I do not plan on bringing up the subject until the seminary accepts me. Any advice? Should I pray for her? – K.A.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: It’s great to hear that you are open to the idea of the priesthood. While you feel sure of having a vocation, the process of discernment is also very much in the hands of the Church.

A vocation comes from Jesus, and he calls whomever he wants. This basic fact is good to keep in mind. Following a vocation is about being open to what Jesus wants, not what a family member wants.

To follow a priestly call in no way would dishonor your mom. Loyalty to God never contradicts the fitting honor that we owe to our parents.

Rather than speculate about what your mom will do if and when you leave for the seminary, you might try to be proactive and engage her in conversations at opportune moments. See whether she understands that God call people to different paths, with an eye toward their holiness and happiness.

You might also see whether Mom has a particular concern about whether the priesthood would be a good fit for you.

For now, the best thing would be to intensify your prayer life and sacramental life. Feel free to offer some of that for Mom. She, too, is on a spiritual journey. God might be inviting her to greater generosity and to a greater openness to his will.

A vocation can help to bring all the family into a deeper life of faith. This is a moment for Mom to go deeper into her confidence in God’s providence.

For yourself, it would be good to find a spiritual director, perhaps a vocation director or regular confessor.

For extra reading you might look at To Save a Thousand Souls and The Priest Is Not His Own.

Stay close to the Blessed Virgin Mary through the rosary. She will be there to help you … and your mom.

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“Ask a Priest: Should We Not Love Evil People?”

May 17, 2019 / Ask a Priest, Bible

Q: I found this biblical quote on the Internet, from Romans 16:17-19 – “I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them. For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive. For your obedience is known to all, so that I rejoice over you, but I want you to be wise as to what is good and innocent as to what is evil.” My question is: Is this from the Catholic Bible? This quote would go against God’s rule that says to love everyone, even the evil people you come across. I try to avoid these people as best as I can, but after I accepted Jesus into my life I’ve become too nice of a person to reject anybody. Also, what does God mean when he says to treat people as a gentile or tax collector? “If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector” (Matthew 18:15-17). Thanks so much for your time. – A.K.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: It is good to hear that you have accepted Jesus into your life. He is “the way, the truth and the life” (John 14:6).

Let me mention at the start that you can find the New American Bible online. This is the version used in Masses in the U.S.

Regarding the two quotes you mention: You will basically find the same wording in any Catholic Bible.

The call to avoid people who can mislead others in the faith is simple prudence. We can still love those people, in the sense that we can pray for them and that we hope they reach heaven someday.

For this reason, we shouldn’t think of certain people as inherently evil; they too can have a conversion or come to the full knowledge of Jesus’ teachings. But loving someone doesn’t mean we are obligated to stay close to them and expose our faith to attacks.

And remember, that second quote is directly from Jesus. If he counsels people to keep their distance from someone who stubbornly opposed the faith, then we can be sure that that is good advice.

Being “nice” to people doesn’t mean we go to any extreme to accommodate them. The simple fact is, being Christian means to encounter opposition and at times ridicule. It also entails speaking out at times against the injustice and immorality we see around us. That will make us enemies. It made enemies for Jesus, but he didn’t water down his message.

Perhaps it would be good to read the Gospels with an eye toward how often Jesus faced opposition. That means we can expect opposition, too, if we really want to be his disciples.

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Today’s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to [email protected] and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything – liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events… Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question…

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opposition

“Ask a Priest: What If My Husband Wants My Son to Quit the Seminary?”

Got a question? Need an answer?

St Donatian, St Laetus and companions

“Ask a Priest: What If Relatives Are Blocking Me From the Church?”

Got a question? Need an answer?

“Ask a Priest: What If Mom Opposes My Possible Vocation?”

Got a question? Need an answer?

“Ask a Priest: Should We Not Love Evil People?”

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Alex Kucera

Atlanta