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“Ask a Priest: How Can I Regain Ground With God?”

July 19, 2024 / Ask a Priest, Prayer and Spiritual Growth

Q: I’ve been struggling in my relationship with the Lord. I thought that since it’s summer now, and school is over, I could focus on him, but it’s gotten worse. Maybe it’s because I’ve been spending time looking for a job or spending more time with friends and family. So, this question is a two-parter. 1) How can I grow my relationship with God? How do I become a better Christian? And 2) Is listening to secular music a sin? Is it really that bad? I love the music I listen to, but they don’t talk about God. Yes, there are some swear words, and possibly bad metaphors, but if it doesn’t affect my relationship with God, then is it okay? I feel myself going back into my old, bad habits. So I need guidance. Right now, the world has become my comfort, rather than God being my comfort. Please help. — Fatima

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: It’s good that you are at least aware that your relationship with God needs to improve. That is a grace from the Holy Spirit.

Without knowing more about your situation, I’ll stick with general advice.

First, our relationship with God is a little like our relationship with others: We need to dedicate time to it to cultivate it.

So, it would be good to get back to basics. Dedicate three or four times throughout the day to prayer. Make this non-negotiable. Just as you need to eat three or four times a day to feed your body, you need to pray frequently to let your soul be nourished.

You might consider praying when you get up in the morning. Pray the Angelus around midday. Read Scripture for 5 or 10 minutes in the afternoon, along with praying a rosary or at least a decade or two.

At bedtime, do a short examination of conscience. Ask yourself how you did that day. Ask pardon for sins and resolve to do better the next day.

Also, consider drawing up a vocation statement for yourself, along with a program of life.

The vocation statement involves how you see yourself and your purpose in life. The program of life helps you focus on how to work on reaching goals and growing in the practice of the virtues.

You mention secular music. That means the Holy Spirit might be nudging you to do a rethink.

It’s good to remember that music can have a profound impact on us—that’s why we are drawn to it. Secular lyrics can shape our worldview subtly, especially in the area of purity. So don’t underestimate the impact of this music. (It could even be one reason for your current problem.)

You might consider housecleaning your media. Purge your shelves and devices of racy and irreverent music, and focus on something more elevated (Christian music, classical music, etc.).

And re-evaluate how you are spending your time. Try compiling a grid of your hour-by-hour schedule during the week. Do you do volunteer work? Some kind of work for the poor or homeless? Do you help at the parish? (All this could be included in a program of life.)

And stay close to the sacraments. Frequent confession with a solid confessor can be of immense value.

But before you tackle all the points above, ask yourself what the Spirit is asking you to do the most, right now. Then do it. Life is short. You want to make the best of it.

Count on my prayers.

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“Ask a Priest: Was It OK to Watch Racy Videos to Connect With Dad?”

December 1, 2023 / Ask a Priest, Moral and Social Issues, Social Media, TV, Movies

Q: I’m a married man with two children. My father was over one morning to pick up my 1½-year-old daughter. My father and I don’t agree on much, and have very little in common. My father isn’t religious, and even ridicules religion at times. Anyway, one of the few things we somewhat have in common is that we enjoy “classic rock.” I realize this music has no spiritual value, but we were listening to music videos by Hall & Oates, Tom Jones and Pink Floyd. There was also a dance scene with a girl wearing a skirt that, at times, revealed her underwear. On top of that, I showed my father parts of the film “The Irishman,” which included profanity and violence. I showed him a part of a video in which they have politicians saying ridiculous and childish things, and I think there was one scene of a woman in a bikini. Anyway, there was obviously a lapse in judgment. Dad and I have a strained relationship, and sometimes making conversation can be rather difficult. Does the watching of the videos sound mortally sinful? Blessings, and thank you in advance. – A.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: It’s good that you at least recognize that there was a lapse in judgment. That shows that your conscience is still sensitive.

Whenever someone asks, “Is this a mortal sin?”, the next question that comes to mind is, “If this were ‘only’ a venial sin, would you do it again?”

If the answer is yes, then there is a big problem. For anyone to deliberately choose to offend God, even venially, is a sign the person is a lot closer to mortal sin than he thinks.

But let’s put things positively. We aren’t here in this world just to avoid mortal sin. We are here to become saints.

Here is where you might ask yourself whether these videos and movies are helping you grow in holiness, and whether they are helping to draw your dad closer to Our Lord.

Ask yourself, too, what kind of impact these media will have on your children as they grow up.

It might be good to step back and review how the media you consume reflects your religious views, and how those media can impact the people around you.

For the more integrally you live your faith, the more powerful your prayers can be, and the better the chance you will have to convert your dad (and raise your children well).

As for your immediate relationship with your dad: It might be better to focus on the wholesome interests that you two have in common, such as your kids and extended family members.

Putting Jesus first in your life will help you navigate all the other relationships.

A helpful book for honing the art of evangelizing might be Go! 30 Meditations on How to Best Love Your Neighbor as Yourself.

I hope some of this helps. Count on my prayers.

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Fr. Jaime Building Holy Families Podcast

Fr. Jaime Lorenzo Addresses Hard Questions from Catholic Parents in New Podcast

October 19, 2023 / Legionaries of Christ, Marriage & Family, Regnum Christi News

Fr. Jaime Lorenzo, LC, was ordained only three years ago on September 5, 2020, but he has been working with youth and young adults for nearly a decade. Today, he is serving as the Executive Youth and Camp Director for ECYD, and he has recently begun a new video podcast series called Building Holy Families, designed to provide parents with the tools and resources to support them along their spiritual journey and in their mission to build a happy and holy home.

It was his years of work with youth that inspired and motivated Fr. Jaime to focus on the spiritual formation of parents and helping them to build a foundation of faith in the family. In organizing and hosting the various youth events, retreats, clubs, activities, and camps that his ministry entailed, and accompanying so many boys and young adults over so many years, Fr. Jaime came to realize that he, as a priest, could only do so much, and that the solution to many of the faith struggles he was witnessing in the youth he was serving could only really be found in the families themselves.

“At one point during a moment of prayer/frustration, I realized that I am only doing half of what these kids need – the other half, or most of the work, is done in the home,” says Fr. Jaime. “And I felt the call to reach out to the families and work with them – personally with those who are close by, but also through videos and social media as a way to reach a wider audience.”

The Building Holy Families podcast provides conversations and suggestions on a diverse variety of topics (like “How to have meaningful conversations with your children,” “Inspiring trust,” and “Should my child get a phone?”) but what they all have in common is that they are short, sharable, and practical. Most of the episodes are approximately 7-10 minutes long, and offer parents ideas, motivations, and challenges to get them thinking about their own spiritual journey and owning the faith for their family. Here, parents can find best practices to guide their children through the world that is full of spiritual obstacles and not always amenable to the faith, while their eyes and hearts are set on heaven. And one of the biggest spiritual obstacles facing Catholic families today, according to Fr. Jaime, is a lack of passion for the faith.

“The faith has become very basic and very easy to live, but the fire, the excitement, and the depth is sometimes lacking,” says Fr. Jaime, who sees many families simply going through the motions – attending Mass and receiving the sacraments, but living a Catholic faith that is dry and monotonous and lacking true life and a real thirst for God. “The world has humanized God, and humanized the faith, to the point where the call to grow isn’t very strong. What’s really lacking is growth in the faith as a family, the call to grow, to go deeper. A lot of families don’t know how to do that, or they’re looking for places or people to help them be formed and guided and keep growing in the faith, and they don’t know where to go.”

Fr. Jaime’s podcast offers a space for these conversations to happen. In one of his episodes, Fr. Jaime talks with Jacquie Lustig, a Consecrated Woman of Regnum Christi and the Assistant Vocations Director for the Consecrated Women, who is currently working with youth ages 10-18 in Cincinnati, Ohio. Together, Fr. Jaime and Jacquie discuss how parents can show active love towards their children in the face of challenges, discouragement, frustration, and exhaustion, and when it even feels like their love is not reciprocated or appreciated. “When kids get home, even if they don’t know it sometimes, those girls or those boys are testing to see ‘how loveable can I all of me be?’,” suggest Jacquie. “No one has a harder job than being a parent, because you’re kind of like the cliff that those waves keep crashing against, but sometimes you just need to stay the course and give yourself permission to say, ‘I’m doing a good job.’ And just keep showing up.”

But in the midst of the all the challenges facing the family today, Fr. Jaime sees an abundance of hope. For him, the Church is a place with a multitude of resources around the globe, particularly within the world of technology, and a space where people can come to be nourished, to be accompanied, and to grow, and Fr. Jaime sees his podcast as just one more resource of personal formation and growth for the family. “It’s a beautiful thing that Regnum Christi, and, in fact, the whole Church, is called to offer that place to have those conversations, to share experiences and stories, successes and failures, and to support and accompany each other through this journey together.”

Fr. Jaime releases a new episode approximately once a week during the school year, and he plans to introduce new topics and new guests in the upcoming months. You can watch Building Holy Families on YouTube or listen to it on any podcast platform. If there are any topics you would like Fr. Jaime to cover, feel free to email him.

Besides his work with youth, Fr. Jaime is one of the core team of Regnum Christi Music Collective, a musical group consisting of Legionary priests, Consecrated Women of Regnum Christi, and lay Regnum Christi members, who come together to create and perform. You can hear their music anywhere you stream music, or on their website rcmusiccollective.org, or subscribe to their Regnum Christi Music Collective YouTube channel for updates on new music.

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Little Apostles: A Gospel Meditation Podcast for Children

July 6, 2023 / Consecrated Women of Regnum Christi News, International News, Marriage & Family, News, RC Education News, Regnum Christi, Regnum Christi News

Guillermo “Memo” Buenabad, a parent at the Cumbres International School in Aguascalientes, MX, used to listen to a podcast with Gospel reflections with his children on their way to school each morning. This podcast was produced by Legionary priests, and in order to discuss it in children’s terms, he paused it, and each one shared with the family what stood out to them.

One day, during Mass at the school, the idea occurred to him to make a podcast for kids that was narrated by the children of Cumbres Aguascalientes. He mentioned it to his spiritual director, who encouraged him to go ahead with it, reminding him that the school has a recording studio available.

He approached Carmen Ramírez, the school’s principal, with the proposal, and she received it with great enthusiasm and full support to begin recording as soon as possible, and to start this new apostolate directed by children, for children.

Initially, the 3^rd and 6^thgrade students and their parents were invited. Later, children from the whole school were brought on board, which guarantees that they have candidates to record practically 365 days a year.

As for the technical part, having a newly inaugurated recording studio has made their task much easier, as does its professional equipment. It has a number of microphones that have allowed them to find the ideal combination so that the children’s voices are heard with total clarity.

“Some of the children have such gentle voices that they need to have the microphone super close to capture everything, others have very high-pitched voices and saturated the channel at first, but at the school we have learned how to achieve the highest definition in the recordings.” -Mary, IT director of the school

The way in which the children have made progress in the recording studio has been very interesting. Some enter very nervous and begin to relax as the activity goes on, while others arrive very confidently and are able to record the episode on the first take. They are already familiar with the dynamic of the opening prayer, the reading of the Gospel, the reflection, and the prayer of thanksgiving.

In general, everyone has been developing the skills necessary for this apostolate, such as reading, and oral communication skills.

Memo’s apostolic spirit also involves the parents, both those with children in his children’s grades, and then those of the other grades.

“At the beginning, the parents participated with a bit of fear and hesitation, but Memo has made it very easy by being instructive, helping the parents overcome their fear, which has made the parents more and more willing. Drawing closer to the Gospel and participating in the podcast has created a very positive impulse to share with our children and the whole community.” –Sofi Macías, elementary school principal

The parents were open to the idea of reading and reflecting on the Gospel as a parent/child dynamic. They are given a guide with the corresponding verses before recording the episode, which gives them a sample script, but ultimately they decide what to say and follow where the Holy Spirit guides them in the moment.

“As a parent/child dynamic it is very enriching, since sometimes we don’t give ourselves the time to speak with our children about the Gospel.” –Memo Buenabad

The recordings are usually made early in the morning, when the students arrive at school with their parents, or a few minutes after dismissal, when the students are picked up. Every podcast episode lasts between three and four minutes, since it is directed at kids and should hold their attention.

“Guillermo’s enthusiasm for this type of evangelization is great and, without a doubt, comes from his desire and interest to see his children evangelized. It spreads from him and helps the school be able to engage all the parents. This way we can make the Gospel available to them, because in the end, it is God who evangelizes; we are just instruments and offer means so that his Word touches our hearts and converts us.” –Carmen Ramírez, Consecrated Woman of Regnum Christi and the school’s head principal

Their next challenge is to increase its listenership so that not only the parents who come in to record listen to it, and not only on the day on which their child recorded, but that they listen to it daily. Therefore, they are making changes to their means of outreach so that it is more available to everyone.

For now, the podcast is on Spotify, and one episode is uploaded every day. The next step is to make it known to all the schools in the Regnum Christi Semper Altius Network of Schools, so that it inspires other institutions to do something similar, and that both kids and parents feel involved in the Gospel reflection, which doesn’t have to be complicated, difficult or demanding in terms of time or method.

The podcast’s future is promising, with growth that enables all Regnum Christi members in Mexico to know it, share it, and bring it to other countries.

In addition to being available on Spotify, they are weighing the possibility of uploading it to other platforms for greater diffusion, and they are evaluating whether to involve middle- and high-school students so that they can edit the episodes.

It has been reproduced in Columbia and Argentina, and they have grown their audience to include new people who are not from the school communities. This is precisely the goal.

Some families outside the school have expressed their desire to participate in the podcast, and although it is an apostolate of the school, it is a Regnum Christi apostolate, which helps the students value what they have received and launches them from the school out into the world.

“We aren’t isolated verses; we are all members of the same poem. Everyone here is united in the same mission, those who make the recordings, edit them, put together the podcast, parents and students.” –Memo Buenabad

Congratulations to the whole team at Cumbres International School Aguascalientes. Let’s pray that God may bless them with many fruits for this new apostolate.

Translated from the original Spanish publication.

Little Apostles: A Gospel Meditation Podcast for Children Read More »

“Ask a Priest: How to Judge Whether Certain Media Are Helpful or Harmful?”

July 4, 2023 / Ask a Priest, Social Media, TV, Movies

Q: How can a person go about discerning whether or not it is safe or healthy to watch or read certain media? I’ve been bewildered trying to find out what the controversy is especially with Harry Potter. There seem to be people who think it’s perfectly OK and others who think it’s dangerous. The Lord of the Rings and The Chronicles of Narnia both feature magic, good and bad — but somehow they are acceptable? How can I decide what is acceptable and healthy and what is not? For example, I watch a show called Teen Wolf. The theme of the show is that the teenager bitten by the wolf turns into a werewolf. He refuses to give into the killer instinct (as others do). He is a good werewolf whose strength is his character and loyalty to his friends. The show features rituals and occult to some degree (I don’t know if the rituals are real). I wonder if it is wrong to watch a show like this? I ask this because I’m disabled and TV/movies are some of the few things I can enjoy and do. – C.M.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Each person has to discern what will help and what will hinder his spiritual life.

People respond differently to media. What might be harmless entertainment to a mature Christians, could be detrimental or confusing to a child or to someone with little or no formation in the faith.

So, you have to know yourself and what you are comfortable with.

Two observations might be worth mentioning.

First, whatever we watch and read can affect our very way of thinking. Our minds are like sponges.

Over time, the kinds of things we absorb from the media can make a good or bad (and profound) impact on us, sometimes without our even realizing it. One can imagine how racy TV shows and movies have helped lead lots of folks to adopt immodest dress in public.

One rule of thumb is to ask whether you would be comfortable watching something with Jesus or the Blessed Virgin sitting by your side.

Second, you mention this werewolf show. You might ask yourself whether there aren’t better things you can dedicate your time to, such as serious books (including the Bible) and edifying documentaries and online courses. And, of course, there is the option of dedicating more time to prayer.

Remember, the good is the enemy of the best. And ideally, the bad shouldn’t even be allowed in your house.

In any case, if your viewing is stuck at the “Teen Wolf” level, it might be time for a rethink.

For related reading on the Church’s take on the media, see “The Church and the Internet.” Also worth a peek is this list of 100 films hailed by the National Catholic Register as pro-Catholic (but note its warning).

I hope some of this helps.

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RC Music Collective Now on Hallow!

May 4, 2023 / APP News Feed, Consecrated Women of Regnum Christi News, Legionaries of Christ, Legionaries of Christ News, Regnum Christi News

The RC Music Collective is a group of Legionary priests, Consecrated Women, and lay members of Regnum Christi who have been writing and recording music together since 2019, and they now appear on a brand-new platform! Listeners can now find RC Music Collective on Hallow, a Catholic prayer app used by millions of people world-wide that offers a wide selection of contemplative prayer resources, meditations, Catholic Bible readings, music, and more.

But this new collaboration between RC Music Collective and Hallow did not develop overnight, and required some patient waiting from the members of the group. In August of 2022, at a retreat for Catholic business leaders, the RC Music Collective provided the music for adoration and Mass, and for the entertainment portion of the evening following dinner. It was providential that during that dinner, Emily Roman, a Consecrated Woman of Regnum Christi and one of the four members of the core team of RC Music Collective, ended up seated next to Hallow CEO, Alex Jones, and was able to share with him about some of the work the collective had been doing. Another four more months passed before, in December 2022, Joe Frederickson, the content lead at Hallow, reached out to begin discussions, and finally, in mid-March of this year, RC Music Collective signed a contract with the app.

RC Music Collective now has its own playlist on Hallow, with eight songs so far, including Revival featuring Colleen McKenna, from their 2021 album of the same name, and Pray for Us (a song for Mary), from their current compilation of songs, called “Follow.” The Hallow app also features “praylists,” a collection of prayers, music, or meditations directed toward a single theme; three of RC Music Collective’s original songs (Gethesemane, So in Love, and Revival) are featured on the app’s current Easter praylist.

Since being featured on the Hallow app, RC Music Collective has seen a dramatic increase in its audience – the number of views on their YouTube channel has risen significantly by several thousand for each video, and the number of monthly listeners on Spotify has doubled! Besides seeing an increase in traffic to their videos, songs, and website, the group has also noticed a rise in the number of comments from listeners sharing the beautiful spiritual experiences to which the music has been leading them. “One young person shared how the song ‘Pray for Us’ had brought her to a very powerful encounter with Mary as her mother,” says Emily. “We have received so many testimonies about how the songs have been deeply touching people who otherwise might not have found our music.”

Along with Emily, Legionary priests Fr. John Klein, LC, Fr. Jaime Lorenzo, LC, and fellow Consecrated Woman of Regnum Christi, Jill Swallow, make up the core team of RC Music Collective, who carve out time to spend a week together at least three times a year: for a recording session, a musician’s retreat, and a song-writing week. Jack Dardis and Sarah Carpenter, who frequently collaborate with RC Music Collective, joined the core team this year for the song-writing week, which took place in March in Louisiana. During the week, they were joined by Greg Boudreaux of The Vigil Project, who has been an excellent mentor to the collective throughout its musical journey. As a result of this year’s song-writing week, the group has six to eight songs to discern next steps for – and possibly record – in the upcoming months.

In the midst of their week dedicated to writing songs, RC Music Collective also had the opportunity to play their music at a parish in Covington, Louisiana. Archbishop Gregory Aymond had requested during Lent that each parish within the archdiocese of New Orleans host three evenings of adoration and confession, so the collective, in collaboration with the Regnum Christi locality, provided the music, accompanied by reflections, for one of those nights. This beautiful experience of prayer and song was well received, and the members of the collective continue to discern how God is calling them to invest their time and use their gift of music, and the beautiful chemistry that they have together, toward similar events in the future.

Most recently, the group gathered to host its third annual musician’s retreat, called Music for Mission, held near the end of April in Atlanta, Georgia. The goal of the weekend retreat is to form musical apostles, Catholic musicians who embrace the gift of music in their lives and strive to find its place in the Church. The retreat incorporates four key elements: much-needed fellowship and community with other Catholic musicians, collaborative workshops that can help dispel some of the fear and intimidation surrounding the song-writing process for young musicians, formative talks on the power of music and its role in worship and the liturgy, and perhaps most importantly, time for silent prayer. “We included an element of silence on the Saturday morning of the retreat, to emphasize for these musicians that silence is actually as important as sound,” says Emily “In fact, alternating between silence and sound is what makes music, and yet our world doesn’t really lend itself towards silence.” The retreat included Mass each day, times of communal and private prayer, adoration, and, of course, a fun evening on the last night featuring a jam session and an open mic.

In this month of May, be sure to check out Pray for Us (a song for Mary), the collective’s first song dedicated specifically to the Blessed Mother, and one that is particularly special, not just to Emily, but to all four members of the group: “We all had a sense that Mary wanted a song, and we were all brainstorming, but nothing really clicked. Then Fr. John preached a homily on the Feast of Our Lady of Lourdes on September 15th, and he began to share his own relationship with Mary in such a tender way that after Mass, Jill and I just stayed in the chapel and wrote. In the end, we had these notebooks full of ideas, and hearts full of what we wanted to say to Mary. When we were all together struggling to come up with a song, I brought out my notes and set them on the piano and suddenly the song came together so quickly and so simply, after such a long time of knowing a song was there and just wishing we could see it! The Holy Spirit moved us so much in the writing process, and now we hear so often from people how much the song has touched them and put words to their own prayer, and how it has helped them encounter the Blessed Mother.”

You can find out more about the RC Music Collective on their website at rcmusiccollective.org, check them out on Facebook or Instagram, or subscribe to the Regnum Christi Music Collective channel on YouTube. Listen to their music on Hallow or any music streaming service.

Emily has been serving in the Atlanta area since 2013, and is currently the Director of Campus Ministry at Pinecrest Academy, a Regnum Christi school in Cumming, Georgia. She graduated from Mater Ecclesiae College in Rhode Island with a Bachelor’s Degree in Religious and Pastoral Studies, and this summer she will be beginning her Master’s Degree in Educational Leadership at Notre Dame University.

RC Music Collective Now on Hallow! Read More »

“Ask a Priest: What If a Celebrity Priest Seems to Neglect His Parish?”

May 13, 2022 / Ask a Priest, Mass, the Eucharist and Priests

Q: I took a new job at my church some months ago. It is very rewarding, and I truly feel like God put me in the position for a reason. I was hired to work with volunteers and handle the schedule of the priests. Our pastor has become a bit of a celebrity and has started a virtual show that he hosts three times a week. He is reaching thousands of people around the world, and it is really an amazing thing to see. But I am so disheartened because his priority is not our parish, and I really feel the parishioners are being neglected. For example, we use retired priests to help out when we need it. Our poor retired priests said they are unable to say no if I call them, and I truly worry that they are being overworked simply because our pastor is too tired from his other endeavors. He has not heard confessions in two weeks for one reason or another. He will not do more than one funeral a week, or more than two weddings a month. He does not have regular office hours. He recently built a studio in the rectory for his show, and he rarely comes by the parish office anymore. I am increasingly disheartened and I am not sure who to speak to or just stay quiet. I know that I could never understand the demands and pressure of a priest. I am looking for guidance or insight. There is another staff member who is very close to him and does not allow anyone to speak to him. It is just very hard to understand what is appropriate. There was a lot of turnover before I was hired, so I know this is not a new problem. – J.R.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: It can happen that priests get distracted from their core duties, even for the best of motives.

Obviously, I don’t know how the priest sees the situation.

You might try approaching that staff member who is close to him, and see if the both of you can approach the pastor.

If the staffer refuses, you might try contacting your pastor directly, in person or by e-mail, about how much you appreciate his work, but that you are concerned that the substitute priests are burning out.

This might prompt your pastor to rethink his priorities, especially if he finds out the retired priests are suffering.

If that fails, you could contact the chancery, to bring the problem to the bishop’s attention. At that point you should leave things in the bishop’s hands.

In the meantime, you might want to intensify your prayers for the pastor and the parish.

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“Ask a Priest: Can a Confessor Ban Me From All Movies and Social Media?”

May 10, 2022 / Ask a Priest, Social Media, TV, Movies

Q: When I went to confession last week my confessor gave me some harsh advice after I asked him about my choice of movies and shows. I am usually careful about what I watch. For example, I avoid violent content, and I try my best to weigh the pros and cons of a movie. The same goes for video games. My confessor told me to avoid movies at all cost and even social media. I was worried after that because I know that I am morally bound to obey his advice. I was taken aback, since I am just 18 and in college, so my classes are online. I do watch movies and shows in my unproductive time (around four hours or so daily). I want to know whether I still need to follow whatever advice I get in a confession? Plus, I have scrupulosity, so it doesn’t let me live in peace. – R.O.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Since I don’t know the whole context of the conversation between you and the confessor, I don’t want to second-guess the advice that he gave in the moment.

While we should take seriously the advice of a confessor – the confessional can be, after all, a special forum in which the Holy Spirit works – the following of that advice might not always be obligatory but rather prudential.

The penance that a priest prescribes is obligatory, but his advice is something that you would want to weigh the pros and cons of, and decide whether to follow it.

Ideally the confessor could educate a penitent’s conscience about the objective sinfulness of something. For it is the evil of the thing that obliges a penitent to avoid it, not the priest’s obliging him to avoid it.

Perhaps the priest felt as though he didn’t have a lot of time to give you a detailed moral explanation, and so advised an across-the-board ban on movies and social media. Or, if he perceived that just about any media pose a grave danger for you, the prohibition might have been the strong medicine he thought you needed.

In general, though, I wouldn’t say that a person is obliged to avoid all movies and social media.

Some movies can be uplifting, and social media can be a powerful tool if used correctly.

The key here is discernment. We have to be prudent about our use of media.

You mention that you spend four hours a day watching movies and shows. That seems like a lot of time.

You mention “unproductive time.” There really shouldn’t be unproductive time in our lives.

Every day is a gift of God. One of the most valuable things he gives us is time — and like all our God-given gifts, we should use them for his glory and for the good of others.

My suggestion is that you spend some time in prayer and see how you might use your days more productively.

Being of college age, you have a capacity to learn things more quickly and deeply. These are the years that you want to use well, to study hard, to form yourself well. It would be a pity to spend a quarter of your waking hours watching movies.

In lieu of movies, you might consider the fine resources online that could help you grow in your knowledge of the faith, such as Catholic Answers, the St. Paul Center for Biblical Theology, Discerning Hearts, and Renewal Ministries.

For more reading about use of the media in general, see the Second Vatican Council decree Inter Mirifica and John Paul II’s apostolic letter “The Rapid Development.”

Remember, someday we will have to give an account to God of how we used that great gift of time.

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Catholic Women Now: A Dream Written in the Margins Comes to Life

April 20, 2020 / APP News Feed

Catholic Women Now: A Dream Written in the Margins Comes to Life

Julie Nelson is the co-host of Catholic Women Now, a popular Iowa radio show for women, but if she had let failure stop her from pursuing God’s plan for her life, she probably wouldn’t be on the air today.

Julie’s first foray into radio was not a shining portent of the show’s current success. When she was working as the Adult Faith Formation director at her parish in Des Moines, Iowa, the local Catholic radio station invited her on air for a half-hour interview spotlighting her ministry. In Julie’s words, she “completely bombed” the interview, and didn’t even tell anyone that she had been on the air. “Who would want to listen to that drivel?” she thought, walking away from the interview. But the seed of her future calling as a radio personality had been planted.

Her second chance at radio was a turning point in Julie’s life. When she had the opportunity to interview a fellow staff member on air, not only did she discover that she could do it with humor and ease, but she found something else too: a real – and unexpected – passion for radio. Soon after, while Julie was attending a silent retreat, she was prompted by the retreat leader, Father James, to write down the dream that God might be placing on her heart. In tiny letters, in the margin of her journal, Julie timidly wrote: “Lord, I want to be on the radio.” God, with Julie’s passionate participation, took it from there.

Noticing that there was no local programming specifically for Catholic women, Julie approached the station manager at Iowa Catholic Radio with an idea that would become, in 2013, Catholic Women Now, a half-hour show exploring a wide variety of topics relevant to Catholic women today. On their weekly show, Julie and her co-host, Chris Magruder, explore the broad, and sometimes weighty, themes of faith, family, and friendships in an intimate, compassionate, and conversational way.

This conversational quality is what makes Catholic Women Now such a warm-hearted and relatable show. When Julie and Chris began broadcasting their show, their principal goal was to meet the spiritual needs of the Catholic women who would be listening, in a comfortable and relaxed way. Julie wants women, when they’re listening to the show, to feel as though they’re at a coffee shop, chatting with friends. “We’re not interviewers, but conversationalists,” explains Julie, “It is important that the women listening feel part of the conversation. The show is theirs. Everyone listening is a friend.”

And it’s clear that this conversational approach is working – more and more women all over Iowa are tuning in. Julie attributes the success of the radio show to its being local and community-based. “[The show] has helped women to be more connected with each other among the Catholic community and parishes,” says Julie, and this sense of belonging is an important part of the Catholic Women Now ministry. Four times a year, the radio station hosts a free, in-person luncheon, emceed by Julie and Chris. Here, they get to personally meet their listeners and develop an even deeper relationship of community and accompaniment that is so important to the show.

Appealing to women of all interests and life stages, Catholic Women Now covers a vast array of topics, from family life to friendship, all centered around living the Catholic faith. “The show is the what, why, and how to live this in our lives,” says Julie. Women can tune in to hear how to live their faith in an authentic way, and find heart-felt and practical advice on real-life issues, like letting go of insecurities, growing in the spiritual life, strengthening their marriages and relationships with their children, and becoming the women God has called them to be.

Meeting people and hearing their stories is Julie’s favourite part of the job. Interviewing, to Julie, is a form of accompaniment; asking questions and listening to her guests’ life experiences is an act of empathy in itself. “I have always enjoyed meeting people and understanding what has shaped their journey, and what lessons they learned along the way.”

Along with tackling the often-serious subjects of religion, relationships, and the feminine genius, Julie and Chris have a lot of fun too. One of their most popular shows featured an interview with Brother Andrew Corriente, recent winner of The Great American Bake-Off: Holiday Edition. This balance of fun topics and faith formation contributes to the overall tone of Catholic Women Now – one of joy, hope, and above all, authenticity.

And it’s this authenticity, now more than ever, that women are seeking. “The world is broadcasting a message of false empowerment,” says Julie, explaining that the media message that women commonly receive today is that “joy, success, and conquering of self is up to each of us.” But what happens when women find that they can’t achieve all these things on their own, that they can’t do it all? “We wonder what is wrong with us,” Julie says. Women today, in reaction to these false messages, are experiencing a sense of failure, feelings of inadequacy, and sheer loneliness in their struggles as they compare themselves to others. Catholic Women Now responds to these experiences by encouraging women to find their true identity not in the world, but in God. “I think the show is meeting a need of supporting women in their dignity as a daughter of God,” says Julie. “Our show brings to women that the answer is faith and trust in God, who alone suffices.”

For Julie, this means being vulnerable with her listeners. “As a speaker, I have to be open about my own struggles,” she says. Over the seven years that Catholic Women Now has been on the air, Julie has learned to overcome her fear of being misunderstood or making mistakes. “Over time, God has shown me that it is not about me.” Before every show, she prays to be God’s vessel, and that Christ will use her to reach the hearts of her listeners. She also prays that she will not take herself too seriously. “I make mistakes and will make more mistakes,” she says, explaining that the unforgiving nature of live radio has helped her to be more genuine with her listeners, and more attentive to her guests. Since there’s no way to edit, and no time to worry about minor mistakes in delivery, Julie has learned to be fully present to the person she’s speaking to, not only during an interview on the air, but also in person. “It has humbled me,” she says. Every show is closed with a spontaneous, intercessory prayer for women.

It’s clear that the humble, prayerful, and authentic approach of Catholic Women Now is having a real impact on its listeners. Julie frequently hears from listeners not only that they have been touched by something they’ve heard, but also, through the radio show, that they themselves feel heard. “Women want to have a place to feel accepted and acknowledged especially in the daily chores and duties of life,” says Julie.

For one such listener, the radio show had a profound influence on her life: she decided to convert to the Catholic faith! “We recently had a guest on the show whose conversion from Protestant to Catholic was influenced by listening to Iowa Catholic Radio. Catholic Women Now was one show that impacted her journey,” says Julie. “I think hearing the faith from woman made her at ease.”

What new plans does God have in store for Catholic Radio Now, and Julie herself? In the midst of the current COVID-19 pandemic, more and more people are searching for and tuning in to online content. The radio show will be looking to offer more online discussions and live-streaming events, but most importantly, Julie and Chris will be focusing on providing programming that brings much-needed hope to their listeners.

As well, in response to yet another aspiration God has placed on her heart, Julie is pursuing a ministry as a Catholic speaker. “God had a plan,” Julie says, of her dream, inscribed in her journal so many years ago, to become a radio personality. Julie faithfully and passionately continues to follow God’s plan for her life.

You can tune in to Catholic Women Now on Iowa Catholic Radio every Thursday at 9:00 a.m. or 9:00 p.m. (Central).

To contact Julie Nelson for a speaking engagement, visit her website at https://julesforthecrown.com/.

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Alex Kucera

Atlanta