LGBTQ

Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: What If I Don’t Want My Kids to See ‘Lightyear’?”

Q: We are a Catholic family with four children and are trying to do our best to not succumb to secular ideals. We have rather liberal “Catholic” family members who cannot understand why we do our best to do things for the glory of God, especially when the topic is about LGBTQ. So soon, we are staying at my brother’s house in Texas for a vacation. The new Toy Story movie, Lightyear, was brought up, and they invited us to see it when we come to visit. The United Arab Emirates recently banned this movie entirely for the same-sex kissing scene. Disney apparently took out the episode but then reinstated it later. I would like to be able to explain to my extended family why we have to opt out on watching the movie. I need advice on the right words to say, preferably quoting the Bible or the Catechism. Thank you in advance. – M.R.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: It is admirable that you are trying to raise your children to have a Christian outlook on life.

I’m not sure, however, that quoting the Bible or the Catechism to your relatives will help in this instance.

Perhaps it is better to just say gently but firmly that you don’t feel comfortable allowing your children to watch the movie.

If the relatives press you, you could mention the scene above and say that it would send the wrong signal to your children.

If the relatives press you further, you can simply mention that God has a plan for sexuality, and you are trying to live it and teach it to your children.

Try to remain charitable and calm as you explain these things.

If the relatives push back, well, then you might just need to reconsider how comfortable you are vacationing with these relatives.

In the meantime, it might be good to intensify your prayers for these relatives. Ask the Holy Spirit to open their hearts.

In any case, witnessing your faith can be a great act of charity for the relatives.

For your own background, this is what the Catechism says:

Chastity and homosexuality

2357 Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex. It has taken a great variety of forms through the centuries and in different cultures. Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained. Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity, tradition has always declared that “homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered.” They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved.

2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. They do not choose their homosexual condition; for most of them it is a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

2359 Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.

I hope some of this helps.

 

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Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: How Much Should Be Spent on an Engagement Ring?”

Q: I have been looking at engagement rings and noticed it seems hard to not find a retailer who in some way approves of or supports the LGBTQ lifestyle. I even found a neat retailer who makes diamonds in a lab so that they are ethical, unlike some mined diamonds. The retailer has some very nice simple diamond rings, but I noticed it is supportive of gay marriage. It isn’t blatant on their website but I read an article saying they are OK with it. Would it be wrong to buy from them? Also, how much should one reasonably spend on an engagement ring, from a Catholic perspective? They have nice ones under $1,000, but I can feel like a cheap guy buying one of them. Maybe that is more the world’s propaganda than anything. I don’t have a huge income, but I could spend more than $1,000. – N.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Probably a lot of stores support the LGBTQ lifestyle to some degree. In America, business is business, as they say.

I don’t think there is a problem if you bought a ring from one of these shops, so long as you don’t signal your support for pro-LGBTQ lifestyles.

If you can find a more traditional shop, then that would be an option. Perhaps there are Christian shops in your area. But if you can’t find one, don’t worry about it.

As for the price of a ring: that is really a personal decision.

It might be good, though, to lean toward something modest. Given the amount of poverty in the world, it’s a good idea to live a modest life and to share things with the poor.

This might be something to talk over with your fiancée-to-be. Now might be a good time to start a dialogue about what kind of life you envision together, and how the two of you view material goods.

If the two of you can have a shared vision of your life together — a life that includes prayer, frugality, concern for the poor, etc. — that could go a long to helping you to avoid the rat race of consumerism and to live an integrally Christian life. In a word, it could help you become saints.

When you decide to propose to your sweetheart, you might do it in some kind of spiritual context (after a prayer together, for instance). That will help make it a beautiful, faith-filled moment — as multifaceted as the diamond that adorns the ring.

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Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: Was I Right to Skip a Pro-LGBT Restaurant?”

Q: I chose not to go to a restaurant that had an LGBT flag on the building, and certain family members challenged my decision. They asked why I would not eat at that restaurant when I eat at Asian restaurants that have a statue of a Buddha on display or at Indian restaurants where there are symbols of their beliefs that obviously are not in sync with mine as a Catholic. In trying to respond I got confused and would like to know how to answer those questions. – K.M.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: It is admirable that you are trying to witness to your beliefs.

Strictly speaking, though, the way you answer would depend on what your own thinking is, which only you know.

Given the context of the situation, perhaps these points are worth considering.

Few people in North America would be scandalized by Christians eating at an Asian restaurant that display symbols of an Eastern religion. Many people might perceive them more as cultural symbols.

In any case, the liberty to practice one’s religious beliefs is something the Church respects. While Catholicism differs significantly from Eastern religions, we can recognize the right of others to practice their faith.

In the case of the LGBT flag, the restaurant seems to making a statement. Its proprietors are publicly showing support for groups that promote disordered behavior which can especially scandalize young people.

Here, it is a prudential decision whether someone chooses to eat at the restaurant. If you were to go there, someone might surmise that you are in favor of LGBT behavior. In that case you might be giving scandal. My guess is that you do not want to do anything that directly supports objectively sinful behavior. Nor you do want to be perceived as supporting it.

In this particular case, people would more likely think that you support LGBT lifestyles rather than, say, Buddhist beliefs, based on your choice of a restaurant.

This is not a black-and-white situation, however. Some people might not even know what the flag is about. They might not even notice the flag. They might just assume that customers going into the restaurant are simply hungry and aiming to get a good meal.

Or perhaps the restaurant is making a simple show of solidarity with LGBT folks, as a way of acknowledging their humanity. After all, even the Church reaches out to people who struggle in this area, without condoning their behavior.

As to your specific question: Someone who refuses to patronize an LGBT-flag restaurant might do so on the grounds of avoiding scandal and not wanting to send the wrong signal. All things considered, the risk of scandal would be less of a problem in the case of an Asian restaurant displaying a Buddha statue.

I hope some of this helps.

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Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: What If a Catholic Campus Has an LGBTQ Club?”

Q: In the fall, my oldest son is going off to college at a Catholic university. For various reasons we love this school and feel that it is a good fit for our son. However, at our recent visit for freshman orientation, I was very surprised to find out that there is an LGBTQ club on campus. I find it hard to understand why a Catholic university is allowing for a club that is in direct moral conflict with Church teachings. I have always taught my children that all people deserve dignity and respect because we are all children of God. Yet, there is moral truth. I know that my children have to maneuver through the waters of an ever-changing and diverse culture in society, and I have tried my best to root my children in Catholic teaching. However, doesn’t permitting this club on a Catholic campus send our young people mixed messages regarding Church teachings on this issue? Do you have any recommendations for students or parents to handle or respond to this issue? – K.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: What you have learned firsthand is the tip of the iceberg of problems that have plagued many Catholic campuses for decades: a rising tide of secularism and a concomitant watering down of the faith.

The problem you mention is all too common nowadays. Unfortunately, there is no quick and simple solution.

You mention that, for various reasons, you love this school and thought it was a good fit for your son. Perhaps it would be good to step back and ask yourself a few questions. Did you do any research into the school before your son applied? Or were you going on past memories of the place?

Many problems with the religious identity of Catholic colleges in the U.S. can be traced back to the 1967 Land O’Lakes Statement, which marked a decision by a number of high-profile Catholic institutions to blaze a new trail in higher education. (For background, see a National Catholic Register article from 2017).

The 1967 document helped to fuel a secular trend on many Catholic campuses in the name of modernization. This secularization grew stronger with age. Yet many Catholics continued to send their children and money to these campuses which failed to uphold truths of the faith.

Among the responses to the problem was Pope St. John Paul II’s 1990 apostolic constitution Ex Corde Ecclesiae and the norms for its subsequent application in the United States. That is a lightning-quick overview of the problem.

How might you proceed? Perhaps a few suggestions might help.

First, if your son still intends to go to this school, you might encourage him to find a support network that will help him live his faith on campus. This means connecting with good Catholic students and perhaps a solid chaplain or even a good, off-campus parish priest.

This LGBTQ aspect of the college’s culture is certainly disturbing, but perhaps there are no better options, from your perspective. If that is the case, try to stay in touch your son throughout his college career to ensure he has access to authentic Catholic teaching.

Second, it might be good to rethink at some point in the future (say, in six to nine months) whether it might be better for your son to look elsewhere to continue his college education. Part of that reflection could involve his contacting the college to hear how it explains the apparent contradiction between campus culture and the Catholic faith.

Third, you might want to educate yourself further on the problems in Catholic education. One resource is the Cardinal Newman Society. It is a group that has had its share of opposition. But you could judge its merits for yourself.

Also helpful to educate yourself more about how best to talk about this particular issue is the video “The Third Way.

In the meantime, you might want to intensify your prayer life for your son. Count on my prayers.

Keep learning more with Ask a Priest

Got a question? Need an answer?

Today’s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to [email protected] and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything – liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events… Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question…

“Ask a Priest: What If a Catholic Campus Has an LGBTQ Club?” Read More »

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Alex Kucera

Atlanta

Alex Kucera has lived in Atlanta, GA, for the last 46 years. He is one of 9 children, married to his wife Karmen, and has 3 girls, one grandson, and a granddaughter on the way. Alex joined Regnum Christi in 2007. Out of the gate, he joined the Helping Hands Medical Missions apostolate and is still participating today with the Ghana Friendship Mission.

In 2009, Alex was asked to be the Atlanta RC Renewal Coordinator for the Atlanta Locality to help the RC members with the RC renewal process. Alex became a Group Leader in 2012 for four of the Atlanta Men’s Section Teams and continues today. Running in parallel, in 2013, Alex became a Team Leader and shepherded a large team of good men.

Alex was honored to be the Atlanta Mission Coordinator between 2010 to 2022 (12 years), coordinating 5-8 Holy Week Mission teams across Georgia. He also created and coordinated missions at a parish in Athens, GA, for 9 years. Alex continues to coordinate Holy Week Missions, Advent Missions, and Monthly missions at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Cumming, GA.

From 2016 to 2022, Alex also served as the Men’s Section Assistant in Atlanta. He loved working with the Men’s Section Director, the Legionaries, Consecrated, and Women’s Section leadership teams.

Alex is exceptionally grateful to the Legionaries, Consecrated, and many RC members who he’s journeyed shoulder to shoulder, growing his relationship with Christ and others along the way. He knows that there is only one way, that’s Christ’s Way, with others!