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“Ask a Priest: How could Mary’s marriage to Joseph be considered valid when it was not consummated?”

/ Ask a Priest, Mary
Q: As a non-Christian, I am baffled. Why was Mary’s marriage unconsummated? As it was not, how could it have been considered valid? And if it was not valid, how could it have been appropriate for her and Joseph to travel together? -D.G.K.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: I appreciate your interest in Mary and your insightful question. Let me preface my comments by saying that what follows is based on faith, the testimony of Scripture, and the teaching authority of the Church, which is guided by the Holy Spirit. I cannot “prove” anything and won’t try to. I will just try to explain what the Church teaches.

The Blessed Virgin Mary has a special role in the history of salvation. She conceived Jesus through the work of the Holy Spirit. Part of God’s plan was that the earthly Mother who would give birth to his Son would remain a virgin all her life. Virginity and celibacy can point our gaze to the afterlife, when there will be no marriage or conjugal life as we understand them.

Mary’s motherhood was exceptional, and it should be no surprise that her marriage was exceptional too. In this case, true, Mary and Joseph never had conjugal relations. Given the extraordinary circumstances of the conception of Jesus, and what Scripture suggests as far as Mary’s intention, “It may be presumed that at the time of their betrothal there was an understanding between Joseph and Mary about the plan to live as a virgin.” So said Pope John Paul II at a general audience on Aug. 21, 1996.

In a 1989 document on St. Joseph, Redemptoris Custos, John Paul II wrote, “While clearly affirming that Jesus was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit, and that virginity remained intact in the marriage (cf. Mt 1:18-25; Lk 1:26-38), the evangelists refer to Joseph as Mary’s husband and to Mary as his wife (cf. Mt 1:16, 18-20, 24; Lk 1:27; 2:5). And while it is important for the Church to profess the virginal conception of Jesus, it is no less important to uphold Mary’s marriage to Joseph, because juridically Joseph’s fatherhood depends on it” (No. 7). The Pope adds in his 1996 audience, “Mary and Joseph’s communion of virginal love, although a special case linked with the concrete realization of the mystery of the Incarnation, was nevertheless a true marriage.”

The Church’s liturgy reflects this belief in the true marriage of Mary and Joseph. Four of the Eucharistic Prayers used at Mass refer to “blessed Joseph, her Spouse.”

For us Catholics, then, there is no question about the validity of the marriage. In the culture Jesus grew up, it was crucial for him to have a legal father and Mary a legal husband. And God’s grace assuredly allowed Mary and Joseph to live a celibate life together.

Admittedly theirs was a special marriage. But then, the Child they provided a home for was special too. I pray that you cultivate your interest in the Holy Family and the Catholic faith.

Got a question? Need an answer?

Today’s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type your question HERE and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything – liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events… Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question…

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“Ask a Priest: Why Does Jesus Evade Mary’s Question in the Temple?”

/ Ask a Priest, Bible
Q: When Jesus was 12 years old his parents were looking for him and after three days they found them in the temple. Why did he not make a direct, literal response to his mother about why he went missing? Instead of giving a proper explanation, he surprised her by asking her why she should have been worried in the first place. In fact, that should be like a mean thing a child says to his mother, especially after she has been frantically looking for him for three days. Over and above this he started speaking about his Father’s house, which seemed out of context. Second, why does it say that after this, he became obedient to them? Was he not before this as well? What does that mean? – P.M.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Your questions touch on one of the core mysteries of our faith: the Incarnation.

Jesus is both true God and true man. This means that as a 12-year-old his thinking was similar to that of a youth. Jesus shows a bit of naivete, if you will, in that he didn’t think to mention to Mary and Joseph beforehand that he intended to stay in Jerusalem.

Yet, as God the Son, he stayed behind in Jerusalem because he knew that his mission was to do God the Father’s will.

This is where Jesus shows his two natures. He displays awareness of his divine mission and yet shows youthful inexperience by not informing his parents. If these seem odd to be happening in the same Person at the same time, that is a reflection of the mystery of Christ himself.

If you don’t understand it totally, don’t worry. Mary didn’t understand it totally, either. That is why she “kept all these things in her heart.” She needed time to process what her Son said.

The Gospel passage simply says, “He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them” (Luke 2:51). It doesn’t say that he was disobedient to them beforehand. His staying behind in Jerusalem could be attributed to youthful innocence rather than to malice.

Keep learning more with Ask a Priest

Got a question? Need an answer?

Today’s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to [email protected] and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything – liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events… Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question…

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“Ask a Priest: It’s Hard to Accept Jesus as Son of God. Am I Doomed?”

/ Ask a Priest, General
Q: I was raised Lutheran and have always believed in God. But in my heart I can’t absorb Jesus as his son and a deity, rather than a human prophet. It’s hard to call myself Christian — it’s also hard not to. Am I arrogant and doomed? – K.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Your question touches on the core mystery of the Christian faith: God is a Trinity of three Persons. And one of those Persons took on human nature and walked among us. This is who Jesus is: true God and true man. This is the mystery of the Incarnation.

Our minds can’t totally comprehend these mysteries of the Trinity and the Incarnation. And yet, there Jesus was: conceived in the womb of the Blessed Virgin Mary, born in Bethlehem, crucified in Jerusalem, raised on the third day.

As to who Jesus is, the interesting thing is that we can’t really settle for some middle ground. Jesus is either God-made-man or he is the one of the biggest frauds in history. That contrast sounds stark, but it is accurate.

We can’t say Jesus was just a human prophet because that is not how he presented himself. “The Father and I are one” (John 10:30). The crowds certainly knew what Jesus was getting at — and some of them didn’t like it. “We are not stoning you for a good work but for blasphemy. You, a man, are making yourself God” (John 10:33).

You mention that is it hard not to call yourself a Christian. Why is that? What is it that draws you to Christianity? What do you see in it that is attractive? For at the center of Christianity is Christ.

Perhaps is might help you to spend time reading the Gospels. Also helpful might be Fulton Sheen’s classic Life of Christ.

It is good to remember that when Jesus took up his cross, he was thinking of you and your salvation. He suffered and died for love of you, to give you a chance at salvation. He loves you more than you realize, and he hopes you can come to an understanding of that love.

You ask if you are arrogant. I doubt it, because you are honest enough to admit that you are struggling to understand who Jesus is.

You are if you are doomed? I wouldn’t dwell on the dark side. It is better to ask yourself whether there is hope to acquire a deep faith in Christ.

If you pray for that faith, and try to learn more about the person of Jesus, one could imagine that the Holy Spirit will be anxious to “guide you to all truth” (John 16:13). I hope some of this helps.

Count on my prayers.

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“Ask a Priest: Creation and the Incarnation – Miracles or Contradictions?”

/ Ask a Priest, Doctrine
Q: So I’ve been thinking a lot about God making square circles. And I’ve heard people say, well, it’s a nonsensical term. Or that it’s asking if he can make a contradiction. But what about creating the universe? Getting something from nothing, how is that not a contradiction? How does that make sense? What about God becoming man? How can a perfect God become an imperfect man? How can he die? So are these two miracles that we believe that God did, not a contradiction like him making a square circle or making 2 + 2 = 5? -R.V.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: There is a big difference between a contradiction and a fact of divine Revelation that is hard for our minds to grasp. A contradiction is easy to dismiss – it is simply nonsensical. It’s not that God is limited; it is simply that a contradiction makes no sense, it carries no real meaning.

As for creation and the Incarnation, those are mysteries that our minds cannot quite get a grip on. But that is a reflection of our limits rather than God’s limits. He is God, after all, and his power is infinite.

If creation seems hard to accept, then look at the alternative. That would mean the world wasn’t created, that it has always been here. But if that were the case, where did the world come from? It couldn’t create itself. If it wasn’t created by God, then he is not master over it — but that would imply that he wasn’t omnipotent.

And if the world were eternal (not created by God), it seems to rival the Almighty in some way. In this scenario the world didn’t need God, and it doesn’t need him to exist. Which, again, would imply God is not all powerful.

Hence, the account of creation makes sense, in that it reflects the fact that the world needed something or Someone greater to create it – which is where God comes in.

The incarnation of the Second Person of the Trinity is a different kind of mystery. (Christ, by the way, was not an imperfect man; he is the perfect man.)

One thing we can be sure of: Christ was real. He rose from the dead. He did miracles. He showed he was God. By taking on human nature, he was also true man, and hence could suffer and die like the rest of us. Since he is also Truth itself, then we can believe all of this, even if we don’t totally understand it.

But that is OK. We are only human, after all. It is too much to expect us to have the same intellectual capacity as God. And if that is humbling — to not understand these two particular miracles — then that is good. We need lots of humility when dealing with the mysteries of God. I hope this helps.

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Welcoming the Word: A Retreat Guide on the Annunciation

/ Mary, Retreat Guides

God never stops thinking of us – he never stops reaching out to us, wanting to give us grace, light, and wisdom. The problem is that we aren’t always good listeners! This month’s Retreat Guide, Welcoming the Word: A Retreat Guide on the Annunciation, will delve into both of those truths. It ponders the amazing fact that God never stops thinking of us. It uncovers three attitudes that made the Blessed Virgin Mary one of the Bible’s greatest listeners – three attitudes that we can all develop. And it highlights five common messengers that God uses to send us his words.

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Audio

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Alex Kucera

Atlanta

Alex Kucera has lived in Atlanta, GA, for the last 46 years. He is one of 9 children, married to his wife Karmen, and has 3 girls, one grandson, and a granddaughter on the way. Alex joined Regnum Christi in 2007. Out of the gate, he joined the Helping Hands Medical Missions apostolate and is still participating today with the Ghana Friendship Mission.

In 2009, Alex was asked to be the Atlanta RC Renewal Coordinator for the Atlanta Locality to help the RC members with the RC renewal process. Alex became a Group Leader in 2012 for four of the Atlanta Men’s Section Teams and continues today. Running in parallel, in 2013, Alex became a Team Leader and shepherded a large team of good men.

Alex was honored to be the Atlanta Mission Coordinator between 2010 to 2022 (12 years), coordinating 5-8 Holy Week Mission teams across Georgia. He also created and coordinated missions at a parish in Athens, GA, for 9 years. Alex continues to coordinate Holy Week Missions, Advent Missions, and Monthly missions at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Cumming, GA.

From 2016 to 2022, Alex also served as the Men’s Section Assistant in Atlanta. He loved working with the Men’s Section Director, the Legionaries, Consecrated, and Women’s Section leadership teams.

Alex is exceptionally grateful to the Legionaries, Consecrated, and many RC members who he’s journeyed shoulder to shoulder, growing his relationship with Christ and others along the way. He knows that there is only one way, that’s Christ’s Way, with others!