Regnum Christi

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“Ask a Priest: Does My Atheist Girlfriend Have a Chance at Salvation?”

Q: I’m worried about my girlfriend, who’s an atheist. The rest of her family is religious and believes in God. I told her I accepted her beliefs. But yesterday I forgot those who believe go to heaven and those who don’t go to hell. I don’t want her to spend eternity with Satan. She is a truly kind soul. Yes, she has sinned—everybody has sinned. Will the Lord give her a chance to get into heaven? Thank you. – A.E.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: I’m sorry to hear about your friend who calls herself an atheist.

Atheism isn’t the kind of thing that naturally attracts people. It involves a choice. Perhaps your friend has visited the wrong kinds of websites or seen one too many bad videos on YouTube.

As to your question: Yes, God will give her a chance at salvation. He “wills everyone to be saved and to come to knowledge of the truth” (1 Timothy 2:4).

God sees your friend as his beloved daughter, and he would love to have her with him someday in heaven. However, the Almighty respects our freedom. He won’t force his love on anyone.

Without knowing more details, I’d recommend this:

First, start praying and offering up sacrifices for your friend. Your intercession for her might merit the grace she needs to say yes to God.

Second, always be patient and kind and respectful to her. This will show her some of the fruits of your own faith.

Third, you might want to become familiar with the arguments for God’s existence (see Peter Kreeft’s site). This might prepare you for dialogue with your friend.

And be sure to guard your own faith! You don’t want to fall into the trap that your friend has fallen into. Be careful about “accepting her beliefs”; you know that she’s in the dark and needs to come to the light of Christ.

Lastly, you might want to step back occasionally and see if there is progress in your friend. If she digs in her heels and clings tighter to atheism, that is a warning sign.

We can hope, of course, that she doesn’t go in that direction. You mention that she is a kind soul and that her family is religious. That might be the fertile ground (along with your prayers and sacrifices) on which the Holy Spirit will work.

And who knows? You might be a chosen instrument for helping to bring your friend to faith.

I hope some of this helps. Count on my prayers for you and your girlfriend.

 

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“Ask a Priest: Can Non-Christians Enter Heaven Without Sanctifying Grace?

Q: How do non-Christians enter heaven without sanctifying grace? -O.A.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: You touch on an intriguing topic. Jesus tells us, “Amen, amen, I say to you, no one can enter the kingdom of God without being born of water and Spirit” (John 3:5). So how could non-Christians, the unbaptized, be saved and enter heaven?

Two points are worth noting right away.

First, no one can enter heaven without sanctifying grace. We all need it. Sanctifying grace is an indwelling of God in us. It “perfects the soul itself to enable it to live with God” (Catechism, 2000). Sanctifying grace can be lost by a single mortal sin (see Catechism, 1861).

Second — and this helps to answer your question — “God has bound salvation to the sacrament of baptism, but he himself is not bound by his sacraments” (Catechism, 1257). In other words, God can grant salvation even to a non-Christian who by definition has not received the sacraments. How exactly God works in this case is a mystery.

The Second Vatican Council stated that non-Christians can reach salvation. In its document Lumen Gentium (The Light of Nations), the council said: “Those also can attain to salvation who through no fault of their own do not know the Gospel of Christ or His Church, yet sincerely seek God and moved by grace strive by their deeds to do His will as it is known to them through the dictates of conscience. Nor does Divine Providence deny the helps necessary for salvation to those who, without blame on their part, have not yet arrived at an explicit knowledge of God and with His grace strive to live a good life” (No. 16).

As regards children who have died without baptism, the Church can only entrust them to the mercy of God. “Indeed,” the Catechism in 1261 says, “the great mercy of God who desires that all men should be saved, and Jesus’ tenderness toward children which caused him to say: ‘Let the children come to me, do not hinder them,’ allow us to hope that there is a way of salvation for children who have died without Baptism.”

So that is our hope: We believe that God can and does open to heaven to those who tried to live good lives or who died before having a chance to receive baptism.

These are comforting teachings, connected to the theological virtue of hope, but they can also be misinterpreted. For example, some people use them as an excuse not to share their faith with others, not to reach out to non-believers with the Gospel. But that is a kind of spiritual laziness. If we truly love others, we want to help them discover the good news of Jesus Christ. And since God has made baptism the normal means for receiving sanctifying grace, we should be interested and active in helping those who haven’t been baptized learn about God’s grace and receive the sacrament.

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“Ask a Priest: Could Aborted Babies Be Angry?”

Q: I know someone who is a Roman Catholic but who is afraid of eternal life because she is worried that her aborted children will be waiting for her and be very angry with her. Is this situation possible? Is being afraid of eternal life a mortal sin? – H.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: It’s a very sad situation that you cite. It sounds as though this poor woman is struggling terribly with her past. My heart goes out to her.

Now, when you mention eternal life, I’m assuming that you mean heaven.

Anyone who makes it to heaven will, by definition, be totally purified.

Hence there is no need for fear of heaven. There will be no anger in heaven, no one to fear.

It would be good that this woman who had the abortions be encouraged to seek God’s mercy in the sacrament of confession if she hasn’t done so yet.

If she has already gone to confession for these sins, the problem might be that she hasn’t quite forgiven herself.

If that is the case, you might want to encourage her to attend a Rachel’s Vineyard retreat or something similar. It’s possible that your acquaintance might need therapy, too.

She has reason to hope that her babies are with Our Lord and that they hold no grudges against her.

To come back to your second question: Fear of eternal life seems to indicate a shaky sense of hope or a weak understanding of heaven. It also smacks of a temptation from the devil, who tries to sow seeds of despair.

Rather than bring focus on the question of mortal sin here, it would be better to focus on what could be done to help this woman experience divine mercy.

She needs to know that in eternal life Our Lord “will wipe every tear from their eyes” (Revelation 21:4).

You might want to intensify your prayers for her. Count on mine.

 

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“Ask a Priest: What Can I Say to a Grieving Widow With No Faith?”

Q: When my brother-in-law died, it was sudden but not unexpected as he was in poor health. My sister called me as I’m her closest relative, just a few blocks away. She was and is devastated. She has been agnostic for most of her life. They were married in the Catholic Church, though he wasn’t Catholic. I’m at a loss on how to console her since she has no faith. Of course, I’m praying for them behind the scenes. Anyway, what happens to him? I’ve read somewhere that at moment of death God will give you the opportunity to finally say yes to him. I’m praying that this is true. Any words of wisdom? Thank you. – G.W.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: I’m sorry to hear about the death of your brother-in-law.

We can’t really guess the state of someone’s soul, including those who didn’t seem to have faith. God alone knows the heart and mind of each person.

Perhaps your brother-in-law was secretly searching for truth and trying to live the best way he knew how. God takes all of that into account and is as merciful as he can be at the particular judgment.

And at the moment of death the Almighty could give a person a special grace to say yes to him. We can always hope.

In the meantime, it would be good to pray for your sister and brother-in-law, and to let your sister know that you are praying for the both of them.

This sudden death might be an occasion for your sister to reconsider some of her own beliefs, or lack of them. At this moment she might even be more open to hearing about our hope in eternal life.

You might try mentioning to her and that the love she had for her husband is a taste of the love that God has for each of us.

Indeed, the love that couples have for each other can give them a sense of something higher than themselves that unites them. This, too, is a taste of the Almighty, for “God is love” (1 John 4:8).

You might try explaining at an opportune moment why you are praying for her husband. Our prayers for the dead are our sign of faith in a heaven, and they express our hope for the resurrection of all the deceased someday.

Above all, it would be good to just reassure your sister of your love for her. If helpful, you might pass on books that speak about the faith and/or the afterlife. Two suggestions would be Heaven, the Heart’s Deepest Longing and Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Heaven.

I hope some of this helps.

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“Ask a Priest: Could I Practice Witchcraft and Still Get to Heaven?”

Q: I want to start practicing a form of witchcraft for self-healing but am scared that this would be considered paganism. Can I practice witchcraft and still believe in God and go to heaven? – B.A.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: To practice witchcraft is, by definition, a repudiation of God and his providence, even if you still believe in the Almighty.

You would certainly put your soul at risk of eternal loss by getting involved in witchcraft.

You would deliberately be inviting satanic powers into your life.

The devil would love that, since he is out to destroy you.

A few numbers from the Catechism are worth quoting:

Divination and magic

2115 God can reveal the future to his prophets or to other saints. Still, a sound Christian attitude consists in putting oneself confidently into the hands of Providence for whatever concerns the future, and giving up all unhealthy curiosity about it. Improvidence, however, can constitute a lack of responsibility.

2116 All forms of divination are to be rejected: recourse to Satan or demons, conjuring up the dead or other practices falsely supposed to “unveil” the future. Consulting horoscopes, astrology, palm reading, interpretation of omens and lots, the phenomena of clairvoyance, and recourse to mediums all conceal a desire for power over time, history, and, in the last analysis, other human beings, as well as a wish to conciliate hidden powers. They contradict the honor, respect, and loving fear that we owe to God alone.

2117 All practices of magic or sorcery, by which one attempts to tame occult powers, so as to place them at one’s service and have a supernatural power over others — even if this were for the sake of restoring their health — are gravely contrary to the virtue of religion. These practices are even more to be condemned when accompanied by the intention of harming someone, or when they have recourse to the intervention of demons. Wearing charms is also reprehensible. Spiritism often implies divination or magical practices; the Church for her part warns the faithful against it. Recourse to so-called traditional cures does not justify either the invocation of evil powers or the exploitation of another’s credulity. [end quoted material]

If you need healing, it is better to turn to Our Lord. You might need medical help, too; that is OK.

In any case, you don’t want to turn to the evil one. The price for his help can be eternal agony.

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“Ask a Priest: Could I Hold Grudges in Heaven?”

Q: I tend to be a bit of a grudge holder, and there are lots of people in this world that I really can’t stand to be around. I feel like this feeling is here to stay no matter what I do, so I am wondering if I were to die and go to heaven, would it still be a crime to want to avoid them completely even when I’m there if they were to somehow make it up there too? – D.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Holding grudges against people can be a serious sin against charity. It shows a manifest refusal to forgive others.

As such, it is the kind of offense that could keep a soul from reaching heaven.

It might be worth pondering that reality.

Jesus is willing to forgive us our many sins. In turn, he asks us to forgive others. He warns, “If you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your transgressions” (Matthew 6:15).

Notice that this is not a mere suggestion from Our Lord.

So much did Jesus drive home the point that he included that petition in the Our Father, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”

A few clarifications might make things easier in the way of love and forgiveness.

First, Jesus tells us to love one another. But he doesn’t insist that we have to like one another.

Loving someone means that we wish the best for the person and that we hope he reaches heaven someday.

Liking someone means that we find a person naturally agreeable. Our personalities match. We get along easily. While that is OK as far as it goes, it doesn’t go deep enough.

We might like the guy at work who’s always joking and always buying coffee and doughnuts for the office. But we might not care that he’s on his fourth marriage or that he’s a borderline alcoholic. We might like him, but we don’t love him in the Christian sense that we are really concerned about his soul.

Then there is the act of forgiveness itself. Forgiveness is an act of the will, not the feelings. We can make an act of forgiveness even if our feelings for someone are still bruised.

The key thing is that we want to forgive. We can’t control our feelings so easily, however. Feelings tend to drag up the rear. So don’t worry if, after forgiving someone, you still feel the wounds that he inflicted on you. Feelings take a while to dissipate.

If you want to go deeper into this topic sometime, the book Forgiveness: A Catholic Approach might be helpful.

Again, this is the kind of thing to ponder in the light of eternity.

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“Ask a Priest: Why Be Afraid of Death?”

Q: If our goal is heaven, why are we so afraid of death? I was raised in a good Catholic family. My older sister just had her firstborn son last year. It was a premature birth, but my first nephew was really active and healthy. However, God decided to take him back six days later, when my little nephew died from a blood infection. I still remember my sister and parents crying. I have never cried so much in my life. I always think that my nephew is now living a very happy life in heaven, lying close to Jesus. And he probably met my cousin who died a week later due to COVID-19. I do not know what heaven looks like, but that is what I choose to believe. Why are we so afraid of death if we believe there is heaven waiting? Why does God put us in this world and make us experience death in order to enter his everlasting Kingdom? – R.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Please accept my condolences for your family on the death of the baby and the cousin. It must have been especially heartbreaking to lose the little one.

As for your questions, it might be good to unpack them a bit.

First, death is not natural. It wasn’t part of God’s original plan for the world. Death and suffering entered because of the sin of our first parents.

We are body and soul together, and we instinctively chafe at the idea of death. Even Jesus sweated blood in the Gethsemane, thinking of his impending death. So, it’s normal that we should fear death. In and of itself death isn’t appealing. It’s a kind of defeat of our bodily dimension.

Now, it is useful to distinguish between the fear of death and the fear of dying.

In a moment of calm, we can intellectually and morally accept that death is simply a door that can lead to the afterlife. Our faith teaches us as much.

It’s a different case, however, when a loved one actually dies. That can hit us hard, and understandably so. We feel a deep loss. Even Jesus wept at the death of Lazarus (John 11:35). So, it’s not incongruous that your “good Catholic family” would weep at the death of the little one, even as they had the hope he was with Our Lord.

Or take the case of our own declining health, with its struggles and agonies — the process of dying can be frightening.

This is one reason why the sacrament of the anointing of the sick can be so helpful. The Catechism in No. 1520 says, “The first grace of this sacrament is one of strengthening, peace and courage to overcome the difficulties that go with the condition of serious illness or the frailty of old age.”

A separate issue is heaven. As Christians we can have the hope of heaven, and this is why we can still be optimistic even as we fear death itself.

Our hope in heaven, however, should be balanced. We should be careful not to presume that all of us will get to heaven automatically.

We can be sure that a baptized baby is in heaven. But we who reach the age of reason need to cooperate with God’s grace through our prayers and reception of the sacraments and our almsgiving, etc.

If we try to lead a good life and stay humble, we can have a reasonable certainty that we are on the right path. But again, we want to avoid presumption.

On the other hand, someone who isn’t leading a good life might by motivated by the fear of death to repent and make peace with God.

Returning to the first point above, it’s good to remember that death was not part of God’s original plan. Sin mysteriously brought death into the world.

Nevertheless, God allowed this to happen since he is able to bring something good out of it.

What could that “good” be?

Pope Benedict XVI in his encyclical Spe Salvi quoted from Saint Ambrose in the funeral discourse for his deceased brother Satyrus:

“‘Death was not part of nature; it became part of nature. God did not decree death from the beginning; he prescribed it as a remedy. Human life, because of sin … began to experience the burden of wretchedness in unremitting labor and unbearable sorrow. There had to be a limit to its evils; death had to restore what life had forfeited. Without the assistance of grace, immortality is more of a burden than a blessing.’ A little earlier, Ambrose had said: ‘Death is, then, no cause for mourning, for it is the cause of mankind’s salvation’” (No. 10).

Death can also teach us to appreciate the gift of life more, and prompt us to use our time in this world wisely and well.

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“Ask a Priest: Will Michael Jackson Songs Endanger My Soul?”

Q: I would like to ask if I am going to hell for listening to Michael Jackson’s songs? So I saw this video on YouTube where this girl was sent to heaven and hell for 23 hours, and in hell she saw Michael Jackson and he told her to tell people to stop listening to his music and to not dance to his music either, because he said that it was all from the devil. Also, people would be following the same path and going to hell. I am very scared. – M.C.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: It would be good to be skeptical about people who claim to have gone to heaven and/or hell — and then returned to do YouTube videos.

A separate issue is the kind of music you listen to.

In all things we should keep our salvation in mind. St. Paul reminds us, “Whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31).

So, the question you might ask yourself is whether Michael Jackson songs will help you get to heaven. Perhaps there is better music to listen to.

Listening to music is a form of recreation. But not all forms of recreation are good for our soul. Some recreational activities can turn us in addicts, or stimulate our base and self-centered desires. What does the kind of music you listen to do to your mind and heart? Does it help refresh and inspire you, or does it bring out a dark side and make you less docile to the Holy Spirit?

The best music helps us to focus on God, not the singer.

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Today’s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to [email protected] and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything – liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events… Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question…

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“Ask a Priest: Can Someone Be Tossed Out of Heaven at the Last Judgment?”

Q: The Nicene Creed says, “He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead.” Would that mean someone who’s in heaven can be judged again? Could someone in heaven go to hell after that final judgment? If so, how and why? Also, would people in hell be part of this final judgment? And if yes, would it be possible that they could go to heaven? Also, since in this final judgment there is no purgatory, what will happen to the people in purgatory when Jesus comes back to judge them but they are not clean yet? And what would happen to people on earth who otherwise would have gone to purgatory? – T.K.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: The final, or last, judgment doesn’t function the same way as the particular judgment does.

Let’s say this at the start: Anyone in hell doesn’t get a second chance at the last judgment, and anyone in heaven has no fear of losing heaven.

The final judgment is a kind of last act of history, when all the sins and secret motives of everyone are revealed. This includes souls in hell.

The Catechism in No. 1039 says, “The Last Judgment will reveal even to its furthest consequences the good each person has done or failed to do during his earthly life.”

A separate issue is: What about the souls still in purgatory and those still on earth when the final judgment comes?

The Church has no definitive as to what happens in these cases.

Perhaps at the time of the final judgment all the faithful on earth might have already undergone such trials so as to not need any more purification for their sins. God might also choose an alternate means of purifying the souls of the faithful prior to the final judgment.

Perhaps, too, all the souls in purgatory will have been purified by then.

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Alex Kucera

Atlanta

Alex Kucera has lived in Atlanta, GA, for the last 46 years. He is one of 9 children, married to his wife Karmen, and has 3 girls, one grandson, and a granddaughter on the way. Alex joined Regnum Christi in 2007. Out of the gate, he joined the Helping Hands Medical Missions apostolate and is still participating today with the Ghana Friendship Mission.

In 2009, Alex was asked to be the Atlanta RC Renewal Coordinator for the Atlanta Locality to help the RC members with the RC renewal process. Alex became a Group Leader in 2012 for four of the Atlanta Men’s Section Teams and continues today. Running in parallel, in 2013, Alex became a Team Leader and shepherded a large team of good men.

Alex was honored to be the Atlanta Mission Coordinator between 2010 to 2022 (12 years), coordinating 5-8 Holy Week Mission teams across Georgia. He also created and coordinated missions at a parish in Athens, GA, for 9 years. Alex continues to coordinate Holy Week Missions, Advent Missions, and Monthly missions at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Cumming, GA.

From 2016 to 2022, Alex also served as the Men’s Section Assistant in Atlanta. He loved working with the Men’s Section Director, the Legionaries, Consecrated, and Women’s Section leadership teams.

Alex is exceptionally grateful to the Legionaries, Consecrated, and many RC members who he’s journeyed shoulder to shoulder, growing his relationship with Christ and others along the way. He knows that there is only one way, that’s Christ’s Way, with others!