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Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: Does God Want Me to Avoid the Sacraments?”

Q: I live in a rural area in the South where there is only one Catholic church in the county. None of the other options within driving distance have a mask mandate. I am immunocompromised, and my doctor has told me not to be anywhere inside unless masks are worn even though I am vaccinated and received the booster. I have asked the church closest to me to consider finding a way to include the immunocompromised, but the latest response has gotten nowhere. We have Eucharistic adoration at our parish, and when I suggested that masks be required at least during one hour, the lay leader in charge said it might be best for me to wait until it is safer. I do not think COVID is going away anytime soon, so when it is safer seems very far in the future. I feel angry and resentful about the attitude toward those who are already so isolated. It seems so contrary to what Our Lord would do. It’s made me lose a lot of respect for the clergy and the diocese when they are preaching about ways to be a better person that are hypocritical. I receive the Eucharist almost weekly at home, thankfully, and the priest has been accommodating when I’ve requested reconciliation — but I used to go weekly and I feel like I’m a bother if I ask more than monthly. I’ve spent months in prayer about this issue, and the only answer I seem to receive is to stop trying to fit into a congregation that doesn’t want me there. I am able to attend as long as masks are worn, but no churches will comply here. Is it possible that God doesn’t want me to attend Mass? I love the sacraments and cannot believe that would be God’s will. Thank you for your ministry. – C.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: I’m sorry to hear about the situation.

While your frustration in understandable, you never want to think that God somehow doesn’t want you in the Church or receiving the sacraments. Those are thoughts you want to recognize as temptations.

It’s unfortunate that parishes and dioceses are still working their way through the pandemic and its aftereffects.

Some of the decisions being made come down to prudence. It might be good to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and to assume that people are trying to do their best.

With all fatigue from the pandemic, some parishes might believe that requiring masks of everyone might be too much of a burden on the vast majority of people.

Some commentators note that an ongoing insistence on masks can actually undercut people’s confidence in the vaccines and keep others from getting the shot. And the more that people avoid the vaccine, the greater the risk of their getting and spreading COVID — and being a threat to the immunocompromised. It’s something of a catch-22.

Even before the coming of COVID, doctors would probably have advised their immunocompromised patients to avoid public gatherings; and there would have been no expectation that businesses or other institutions take extraordinary means to accommodate those prone to diseases and illness.

In any case, the effectiveness and necessity of masks, lockdowns and social distancing, etc., are hotly debated to this day, with experts coming down on both sides of the issue. If there is no consensus in the wider society, it’s not surprising that there is no uniform agreement in Catholic circles.

I mention all this to put things in perspective. God certainly wants us to receive the sacraments. But this isn’t to say that access will always be easy.

That you are able to receive the Eucharist weekly and the sacrament of confession occasionally is a sign that the parish is trying to reach out to you. It hasn’t abandoned you.

Nevertheless, it sounds as though this situation is starting to shake your faith. The devil would love for that to happen. He is the first one to exploit problems to sow disunity, especially within the Church.

To counter that, it would be good to intensify your prayer life and ask the Holy Spirit for serenity and guidance.

Then, in a moment of serenity, try to draw up a list of steps you could pursue. Try to be realistic; you shouldn’t be discouraged if you can’t have things 100% your way. God can shower his graces in many ways. And one of things he blesses is our obedience to the proper authorities.

You seem to be willing to give total obedience to your doctor. Perhaps a bit of that same spirit of obedience should be applied in the spiritual realm. Try to see that pastors and bishops are doing their best to accommodate as many people as possible.

That said, there might be ways to access the sacraments while taking reasonable precautions. For instance, you might see if you could go to a sparsely attended Mass and sit in the choir loft and receive Communion afterward from a masked minister.

If you want to confess more often, you might seek out the sacrament of reconciliation where a confessional has ample separation between priest and penitent.

In any case, it is good to remember that life involves a certain amount of risk. Every time we get in a car or an airplane, we are risking injury or even death. The vaccines themselves have caused a few deaths, so even they aren’t 100% guaranteed.

And be wary of how the devil might be using all this to get you discouraged or angry at a parish or diocese. It would give him a chuckle to see you pull away from the Church.

I hope that some of this helps. Count on my prayers.

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Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: What If My Co-worker Gets on My Nerves?”

Q: I’m a new Catholic. At work, my ambulance partner often does things that get under my skin or she intentionally tries to get on my nerves. She has told me that I was a bad partner. Some days she doesn’t even talk to me for the whole 14-hour shift. I’ve found that this often leads me into the trap of becoming resentful and asking things like, “If you don’t like working with me, why haven’t you asked for a new partner?” She also used to be a Catholic, but has since rejected it and, knowing Catholic doctrine, intentionally points out beautiful nurses in hospitals as a joke to tempt me into sin. Is my resentfulness at points and my sometimes passive-aggressive behavior in frustration mortal sin, over and over again? – A.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: I’m sorry to hear about the situation. The fact that your partner is a fallen-away Catholic, gives you the silent treatment for 14 hours at a stretch, and tries to tempt you about the nurses, is a sign that she has deep problems of her own.

I won’t try to guess what those problems might be. But perhaps a few observations might help.

First, try to remember that your partner is a beloved daughter of God. Jesus suffered and died for her on a cross, and he only wants her happiness and holiness. This will help you to view her from Our Lord’s perspective and with more compassion.

Second, it’s no coincidence that you are her work partner. Perhaps Our Lord has you by her side to influence her in a positive way. So, you want to see her as someone who needs to be evangelized.

Your charity could help bring her back to the faith. Your e-mail implies that she tempts you precisely because she knows you are Catholic, and a new one at that. Catholicism might still mean something to her. Her “humor” might be a way of trying to ease her own conscience about her relationship with the faith.

Third, and this follows on the previous point: try to see this woman as part of your mission in life. You are here to bring her the love of Christ.

God doesn’t allow difficulties in our life unless he can bring something good out of it. This partner, oddly enough, could be your path to holiness. “Do not be conquered by evil but conquer evil with good” (Romans 12:21).

Fourth, try to be objective and see if there is anything you might be doing that rubbed your partner the wrong way. You mention that she said you were a bad partner.

What does all of the above mean in practice?

It means praying for her each day. It means being proactive in your charity with her. You might thank her or compliment her on little things she does during the day — the extra service she shows toward a patient, for instance.

Make a point of not saying anything negative toward her. Try to maintain an atmosphere of Christ-like love as much as possible.

As for your passive aggressive behavior: Try to work on fortitude and assertiveness. Avoid the temptation to do anything that seems sneaky or underhanded. Instead, say what needs to be said, gently but firmly. And be quick to apologize when you are at fault.

If you need to take anything to the confessional, by all means do so.

As for the gravity of the sin in every situation, that is hard to tell. Suffice it to say by trying to cultivate your prayer life and sacramental life, and by working on charity, you will open yourself to God’s grace and go a long way in taming the anger.

One other consideration: Your ability to work as a team could impact the quality of care you give to patients. If the tensions drag on, you might want to approach your supervisor about a change of partner, at least for the sake of the patients.

In any case, you can still pray for your partner. That can help to bring the healing she needs.

Keep learning more with Ask a Priest

Got a question? Need an answer?

Today’s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to [email protected] and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything – liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events… Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question…

“Ask a Priest: What If My Co-worker Gets on My Nerves?” Read More »

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Alex Kucera

Atlanta

Alex Kucera has lived in Atlanta, GA, for the last 46 years. He is one of 9 children, married to his wife Karmen, and has 3 girls, one grandson, and a granddaughter on the way. Alex joined Regnum Christi in 2007. Out of the gate, he joined the Helping Hands Medical Missions apostolate and is still participating today with the Ghana Friendship Mission.

In 2009, Alex was asked to be the Atlanta RC Renewal Coordinator for the Atlanta Locality to help the RC members with the RC renewal process. Alex became a Group Leader in 2012 for four of the Atlanta Men’s Section Teams and continues today. Running in parallel, in 2013, Alex became a Team Leader and shepherded a large team of good men.

Alex was honored to be the Atlanta Mission Coordinator between 2010 to 2022 (12 years), coordinating 5-8 Holy Week Mission teams across Georgia. He also created and coordinated missions at a parish in Athens, GA, for 9 years. Alex continues to coordinate Holy Week Missions, Advent Missions, and Monthly missions at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Cumming, GA.

From 2016 to 2022, Alex also served as the Men’s Section Assistant in Atlanta. He loved working with the Men’s Section Director, the Legionaries, Consecrated, and Women’s Section leadership teams.

Alex is exceptionally grateful to the Legionaries, Consecrated, and many RC members who he’s journeyed shoulder to shoulder, growing his relationship with Christ and others along the way. He knows that there is only one way, that’s Christ’s Way, with others!