Double Standards or Understanding

Dear Friends,

During our Easter break in the formation center where I serve, a speaker facilitated a workshop on community life. One point she drove
home was to recognize our double standards: the standards we hold others to and the excuses we find for ourselves. She read a list of these, which were met with smirks and chuckles of recognition. I share a couple to give you an idea!

She is being lazy and irresponsible when she misses her serving turn. I forgot because I have a lot going on.”
She is too direct and is insensitive to others’ feelings. When I speak like that, I am just trying to be honest.”

At the beginning of his Spiritual Exercises, St Ignatius of Loyola recommends that we presume a good interpretation of the other person’s words and deeds. When in doubt, we should ask them what they meant.

How many unnecessary conflicts and hurt feelings could be saved by this simple advice? Our Lord tells us: “Stop judging, that you may not be judged. For as you judge, so will you be judged, and the measure with which you measure will be measured out to you”  (Matthew 7:1).

This is one of those Gospel passages that can make us squirm. Who doesn’t struggle with this? But perhaps we can turn it on its head and see it as an opportunity to receive unmeasured mercy.

Forgive and you will be forgiven… a good measure, packed together, shaken down, and overflowing will be poured into your lap” (Luke 6: 38).

Yours in the Heart of Christ,

Glory Darbellay

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