death

Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: Since Marriage Isn’t Eternal, Is It Worthwhile?”

Q: I am only 18, and my Catholic foundation is admittedly rocky on this subject. I have been feeling a deeper calling to my faith as of late, but cannot get over one matter that has consumed my thoughts for nearly a month: marriage. And not just marriage. But the irrational feeling that my future wife would die young. This was triggered when I read that earthly spouses will not have a similar relationship in heaven, which makes me feel that marriage is empty and somewhat pointless in the end. I always wanted to get married, but now I don’t know what to think. I have wondered if this is a calling to the religious life. If you could offer any thoughts or resources that could be useful I would greatly appreciate it. – N.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: It is good to remember that marriage (between Christians) is a sacrament, which means that it points to something beyond itself. It is also a special conduit for God’s graces.

Marriage is an icon — an image if you will — of the love that unites the three Persons of the Trinity. It is also the means by which spouses cooperate with God in raising up new human life in the world.

True, marriage doesn’t last into heaven. But that is because no one will need it in heaven: There we will encounter the ultimate object of our love, God.

This doesn’t mean marriage doesn’t have any value. It is a foretaste of the love that awaits us in heaven.

If marriage didn’t have value because it doesn’t last for eternity, then nothing in this world really has value. But that seems to go against our intuitions. Things in this world are important. The way we choose to live is important. Our decisions have ramifications for our eternal destiny.

A better way of thinking might be this: We are pilgrims in this world, and we should make choices with an eye toward eternity. We should choose things that help us reach our ultimate end, which is union with God.

One of the great helps, for the vast majority of people, is marriage. It helps people get over their selfishness. It demands sacrificial love of spouses for each other and for their children. And a loving marriage gives a stable environment within which to raise children, as well as a great witness to the wider community.

Moreover, it is God’s chosen way of bringing new human life into the world. Remember his first command to the first couple: “Be fertile and multiply” (Genesis 1:28). You could read more about marriage in the Catechism, starting at No. 1601.

All of this is to say that marriage is by no means insignificant. It is a bedrock of any healthy society.

Now, returning to your particular situation: You mention about an “irrational feeling” that your future wife would die young.

True, there are no guarantees in marriage. Marriage requires faith in a loving God and his providence. It also demands that we go beyond the limits of our at-times narrow way of thinking.

Marriage is something of a leap of faith, for it calls people to venture into the unknown.

As such, it can make people vulnerable — hence we use the term “falling in love.” When we are falling, we feel helpless. That is part of the thrill of love. A person opens himself to another person who will accept and love him in return.

We all need to make a leap of faith sometime, whether we are called to marriage or priestly or religious life or even a path such as the military. At some point, we realize that unless we make a commitment to someone or something outside of ourselves, we will remain self-centered and become stagnant.

Perhaps it is worth taking some of this to prayer and asking the Holy Spirit for enlightenment. What is the basis of your fears? Are you afraid to be vulnerable? to have trust in God? to give of yourself to others?

Remember Jesus’ words, “Unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces much fruit” (John 12:24).

Perhaps you might find our Be Not Afraid online retreat guide useful. I hope some of this helps.

Keep learning more with Ask a Priest

Got a question? Need an answer?

Today’s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to [email protected] and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything – liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events… Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question…

“Ask a Priest: Since Marriage Isn’t Eternal, Is It Worthwhile?” Read More »

Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: Why Did God Allow the Fall of Adam?”

Q: Before the fall of Adam, Scripture says there was no death. Did that mean that humans were to remain on Earth and not ascend to heaven? This all goes back to the question some people ask, “Why did God allow all of this?” Yes, we have free will, but why would the “tree of life and the tree of knowledge of good and evil” even be placed in the garden in the first place? According to my research through Catholic sources only, one answer is to test us through our free will, but another answer posed the thought that God already knew what would happen even though it was our free will. This makes sense to me because a logical human being would have a backup plan just in case Adam did eat from the tree. God is infinitely greater than us. So I’m sure God was prepared for either result or even already knew it. Perhaps the temptation was allowed not only to test us, but to allow the human spirit to enter heaven where there is absolutely no evil? I understand that Eden was a paradise and God walked with man, but the fallen angels were still cast out of heaven, and temptation, in this case through the serpent, was clearly in the garden; therefore, man would have never been truly “safe” from the fallen angels or completely one with God in heaven. There might not be definite answers you can offer, but theories and philosophies are more than welcome. – F.M.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: It is good to see that you are thinking and asking these deep questions. That is part of the purpose of Scripture: to draw us deeper into the mystery of God and of salvation history.

Let me say upfront that I won’t have definitive answers for all your questions. Some of these matters are mysterious, which is why we never quite figure out everything. Nevertheless, there are some observations that might help you.

First, let’s say that the temptation – the serpent, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil – was a test that allowed man to affirm his love and obedience to God. Man failed the test, but that doesn’t mean he lost forever the chance to be united with God in heaven.

As to your questions: First, people would not have remained on earth for all eternity. Our real home is in heaven, so before original sin came along the plan was probably that we would go from this world to the next world fairly smoothly.

As for free will and why God allowed the fall to happen, this is certainly one of the most perplexing questions. God knows all things from eternity. So, yes, he knew man would misuse his free will and sin.

But God’s foreknowledge of man’s fall doesn’t mean God caused the sin. Moreover, God can bring good out of bad, and in this case man’s fall meant that a redeemer would be needed.

That redeemer was Jesus, the Second Person of the Trinity who took on human nature and suffered and died for us. God became one of us, in other words.

That is why in the Easter Vigil Mass, at the Exsultet, we hear that line about “O felix culpa” (O happy fault). The fault of man (sin) brought us so great a redeemer (hence the cause for joy). This is a very profound insight, the kind we could meditate on for a lifetime. We could say that the sending of a Redeemer was God’s backup plan.

As for the trees in Eden: the tree of life could be seen as a symbol of immortality (that is, the absence of death). After the fall, man is barred from the tree of life. This reflects the fact that man will now face death.

The tree of the knowledge of good and evil can be seen as a symbol of the test that God put man to. Eating the produce of this tree is in itself an act of disobedience — which is why man has knowledge of good and evil after disobeying God and partaking of the forbidden fruit.

Maybe your deeper question is why God put man to the test in the first place.

Testing is the way we can grow. Every time we resist a temptation, we grow stronger. To leave someone untested is to leave him a baby all his life. God didn’t want man to remain a baby, but to be a responsible adult who would freely choose to love and obey his Creator.

Man was safe from the influence of the fallen angels to the extent that he obeyed God. Being “safe” isn’t the point of life, by the way.

Imagine a child whose parents never let him out of the house, never let him play with neighborhood kids, so that he would be “safe.” Would that be a happy child? Would that be a healthy child? Maybe not. It might be a child who never learns, never grows, never knows how to deal with real-world problems.

Perhaps you still have questions. That’s good, because these aren’t meant to be exhaustive answers. These are the kinds of questions you can pray about for years. If such praying and questioning brings you closer to God, then that is good.

For more reading, you might want to take a look at Frank Sheed’s Theology and Sanity as a possible next step.

Keep learning more with Ask a Priest

Got a question? Need an answer?

Today’s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to [email protected] and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything – liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events… Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question…

“Ask a Priest: Why Did God Allow the Fall of Adam?” Read More »

Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: How Do the Particular and Last Judgments Differ?”

Q: I am a little confused on what is the difference between the particular and the general judgment. Can you help me to understand more fully what both of these are? – S.P.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: The particular judgment is what each of us individually will face at the moment of our death. We will learn immediately our fate: either heaven right away, purgatory for a while and then heaven, or hell for eternity.

Our fate will depend on the state of our soul at death. If we die in mortal sin, our destiny is hell. If we die with any unforgiven venial sins or if we still owe a debt of temporal punishment for past sins, we will go to purgatory for a period of purification before entrance into heaven.

The general, or last, or final judgment will be at the end of time. It will include all those who have died and all those still on earth.

At the last judgment everything comes to light: all the hidden motives and actions of all of us, all the consequences of our decisions, all the ways God worked in our lives. It’s kind of a wrap-up event, the last in history.

The distinction between these two judgments is one of the topics covered in our Retreat Guide for All Saints’ and All Souls’ Day: Fire of Mercy. You might want to watch or listen to it to dig a little deeper.

There won’t be any changes in the fate of individuals who already died. Someone already in heaven doesn’t have to worry about losing paradise. A soul in hell won’t get a second chance at heaven.

A fuller treatment about the final judgment can be found in the Catechism, which is quoted extensively here:

THE LAST JUDGMENT

1038 The resurrection of all the dead, “of both the just and the unjust,” will precede the Last Judgment. This will be “the hour when all who are in the tombs will hear [the Son of man’s] voice and come forth, those who have done good, to the resurrection of life, and those who have done evil, to the resurrection of judgment.” Then Christ will come “in his glory, and all the angels with him. … Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate them one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats, and he will place the sheep at his right hand, but the goats at the left. … And they will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”

1039 In the presence of Christ, who is Truth itself, the truth of each man’s relationship with God will be laid bare. The Last Judgment will reveal even to its furthest consequences the good each person has done or failed to do during his earthly life. […]

1040 The Last Judgment will come when Christ returns in glory. Only the Father knows the day and the hour; only he determines the moment of its coming. Then through his Son Jesus Christ he will pronounce the final word on all history. We shall know the ultimate meaning of the whole work of creation and of the entire economy of salvation and understand the marvelous ways by which his Providence led everything towards its final end. The Last Judgment will reveal that God’s justice triumphs over all the injustices committed by his creatures and that God’s love is stronger than death.

1041 The message of the Last Judgment calls men to conversion while God is still giving them “the acceptable time, … the day of salvation.” It inspires a holy fear of God and commits them to the justice of the Kingdom of God. It proclaims the “blessed hope” of the Lord’s return, when he will come “to be glorified in his saints, and to be marveled at in all who have believed.” [end quoted material]

Note that phrase about “the acceptable time”: Now is the time to prepare for our particular judgment. For it awaits us all.

Keep learning more with Ask a Priest

Got a question? Need an answer?

Today’s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to [email protected] and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything – liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events… Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question…

“Ask a Priest: How Do the Particular and Last Judgments Differ?” Read More »

Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: What If My Grieving Brother Lost His Faith in Jesus?”

Q: I have a brother who lost his wife due to cancer. She was young and a very strong Christian. She did not want to be put on drugs to save her, for she was in the last stages. She prayed very hard for God to “take the devil out of her.” I believe he did just that when he took her to heaven. My brother, though, does not believe in Jesus Christ any longer. His wife was such a devout Christian, and he thinks Jesus did not hear her pleas. How can I make my brother believe that Christ is truly here with us and hearing our prayers? He believes now that once you’re gone, that’s it. Thanks for any help you can give me. – K.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Please accept my condolences on the passing of your sister-in-law. The presence of death and evil is one of the great mysteries of this world. How do we reconcile this with the existence of an all-powerful, all-loving God?

There is no simple answer. This question has puzzled mankind for millennia. The Book of Job confronted this question, though its answers still leave many people guessing.

Perhaps the best answer is Christ himself. No one was more innocent than he, yet he suffered and died a terrible death for our redemption. Moreover, it was God the Father who sent his Son to die for us. That is a remarkable sign of his love for all of us.

As for pain and evil in the world, it seems that God allows them in order to bring about something good.

Why did the family see your sister-in-law as a devout Christian? Probably because of her faith  and charity and humility. And why did she stand out for these virtues? Probably because they are relatively hard to find nowadays.

In other words, her goodness stood out, and was appreciated by those around her, precisely because she was a contrast to the widespread evil in the world. This is one paradoxical way that God brings good out of bad — we can see the beauty of a devout Christian more clearly against a dark background.

Perhaps, too, your sister-in-law offered up her suffering for the salvation of souls. Maybe her example inspired others and led others to a deeper conversion. We won’t be sure about this until the last judgment. But we can have faith that God was able to bring something good out of her suffering.

For now, it is understandable that your brother is grieving. And if his faith is a bit weak, it is understandable that he is seeing things in the worst light.

At an opportune moment it might be good to remind your brother that he can have the hope of being reunited with his wife someday. But he will have to try to stay close to Jesus as she did. How else could her holiness be explained, but by her closeness to Our Lord?

Also, when the time is right, you might want to help your brother remember all the good that he received through the gift of his wife in his life. We are all going to die. Death is a guarantee for each of us.

That his wife died sooner than he would have preferred doesn’t negate the beauty and the goodness of his relationship with her during the years that she was still here. It’s all a matter of what we choose to focus our attention on.

And who is to say that God, instead of giving her a cure for cancer, didn’t give her something better: entrance to paradise?

From what you describe, it sounds as though your sister-in-law was deeply touched by her relationship with Jesus, and that bond strengthened her till the end of her life. We can easily imagine that she now prays that the husband she left behind will discover the value of that same kind of relationship.

For more reading you might look at Making Sense Out of Suffering, by Peter Kreeft.

Count on my prayers for you and your family.

Keep learning more with Ask a Priest

Got a question? Need an answer?

Today’s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to [email protected] and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything – liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events… Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question…

“Ask a Priest: What If My Grieving Brother Lost His Faith in Jesus?” Read More »

Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: Am I Wrong to Forgo Marriage After the Death of My Beloved?”

Q: There was a girl who I was in love with, but unfortunately I lost her to a brain tumor. Since then I took a decision of not getting married to any other girl. I am also not holy enough to be a priest. I just want to stay a bachelor for the rest of my life. I still believe in God and love him. I sometimes even pray so that I don’t get married. Will it be right if I did this? Is there anything wrong or sinful in what I am doing? – J.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: It must be heartbreaking to lose this young woman whom you loved. May God rest her soul.

It is understandable that your first reaction is to want to retreat into a life of solitude. You need to go through a period of mourning. It would help a lot to intensify your prayer for the repose of your friend’s soul; in this way you could continue to show your love for her. With time your heart can heal.

Looking ahead, it is good to remember that God has a mission for you. It is not something that you need to shoulder alone, for the Almighty will be there to give the grace you need to carry out the mission.

You speak of “not getting married to any other girl.” You also mention that you are “not holy enough to be a priest.”

Perhaps in the first case you think that you are incapable of loving anyone else. In the second, you seem to think you are unworthy of a life of special service to the Church.

Let’s start with the priesthood first. The priesthood is a vocation, a call from Christ. It isn’t a backup career for someone whose hopes at marriage seem to fade. Rather, it is a call to participate in the priesthood of Christ to serve and help sanctity the people of God and to preach the Gospel. If Christ calls someone to the priesthood, he will give the man the graces necessary to follow the vocation.

At a deeper level, perhaps, your comments about marriage and priesthood are two sides of the same coin: You feel inadequate for both.

In one sense you are right. Certainly, none of us priests are adequate for the priesthood on our own. Similarly, the demands of marriage and parenthood can push anyone’s abilities to the breaking point. What empowers priests to be good priests, and spouses to be good spouses and parents, is divine assistance.

And that’s what you might remind yourself of now. You can do a lot with your life if you stay close to God and let the Holy Spirit strengthen and sustain you.

With God’s grace you can learn to see all the events of your life things through his eyes – even the tragic events. “We know that all things work for good for those who love God” (Romans 8:28).

What this can mean in your current situation is this: The love this young woman inspired in you is meant to grow, not wither. Part of your mission now is to spread love to others around you, in a way that is proper to each person.

This doesn’t mean that you must get married. But you don’t want to give up on life, either. Your own experience of heartbreak can make you more sensitive to the needs of others. That is a trait you want to cultivate.

Some of this might take time. During your period of mourning, when the strong experience of loss might be overwhelming, it would be good to avoid making a lifelong decision not to marry. Stay open to wherever God might lead.

Again, you need to go through a stage of mourning. But do it with the hope that your friend is with Jesus.

And remember that Our Lord has something wonderful in store for you. To discern what that might be, it would help to seek out a good, regular confessor or a spiritual director. Your friend would no doubt want you to find out what Jesus wants for you.

Keep learning more with Ask a Priest

Got a question? Need an answer?

Today’s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to [email protected] and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything – liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events… Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question…

“Ask a Priest: Am I Wrong to Forgo Marriage After the Death of My Beloved?” Read More »

Away Flew Mary: A Regnum Christi Essay on Faith, Friendship, and the Pain of Loss

Away Flew Mary is not a typical Regnum Christi (RC) essay addressing a specific virtue or offering instruction to members. Mary’s story is simply a personal testimony of walking through daily life to death with my Regnum Christi sister, Mary Alwan. This is a reflection of a faith-based friendship, started in the RC Movement, that was deepened and strengthened through the carrying of the cross. We each know that God works in our lives daily, but in His way and in His time. It is our responsibility to enter the silence, be in His presence, and listen to Him as he speaks. The Holy Spirit gave me the graces to write this story for my own spiritual and emotional healing. Until now it has been shared only with Mary’s daughters and a few others. It has laid undisturbed, on my bookshelf, for six years now, until now. 

Away Flew Mary: A Regnum Christi Essay on Faith, Friendship, and the Pain of Loss Read More »

Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: How Can I Trust God After My Mom’s Death?”

Q: When I was 12 years old I saw my mother take her last breath and die from cancer. That was 10 years ago. At that time I had been an altar server for three years at my parish and I continued to serve. But as time passed by I started to feel like God betrayed me and didn’t love me. Every time I served I felt anger, because here I am serving someone who took my mother away. So, after serving for six years I left because that sense of betrayal was hard for me to cope with and it still is. I’m afraid to get close to my faith again because I’m afraid to get hurt once more. When I pray, I do it because I’m afraid of God. I’m afraid of what he can do in my life if I don’t pray. I’m sacred of him and his power. I hope you can give me some advice. Thank you and God bless you. – A.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: My heart goes out to you. I am sorry to hear that you lost your mom at such a young age.

Hard as it was to lose her, you mustn’t think that God somehow betrayed you. God loves you and your mom. And while it might be difficult to grasp, God loves your mom even more than you do.

It was not part of his original plan for suffering and death to be present in the world. Those came because of the sin of our first parents.

There are three sure signs of God’s love for you.

First, he created you. Your very existence depends on him. He sustains you out of love.

Second, he created your mom and gave her as a gift to you.

Third, he sent his only Son to suffer and die on a cross for your redemption and your mom’s redemption — and for the redemption of all of us.

Now, there is no doubt that one of the great mysteries is why God allows pain and suffering and evil in the world.

Here we can recall that the suffering of Jesus brought something good — redemption. Likewise, our own suffering can be united with his for the sake of souls.

God can also bring something good out of suffering. Perhaps beneath your sorrow and fear is a desire to want to be close to God. You aren’t indifferent to him, which could be a lot worse. And it is significant that in the closing of your e-mail, you wrote, “… and God bless you.” You might already have a sense that he is really is a good God, a loving God.

Sometimes it is the people we are closer to who can baffle us and seem mysterious at times. It is the same with God. Even the psalmists complained to him – and that was recorded in Sacred Scripture.

Perhaps the passing of your mom has kept you asking the deep questions of life. Perhaps this has helped you avoid a lot of the frivolity that seems to grip many of your contemporaries.

Perhaps the passing of your mom has kept you asking the deep questions of life. Perhaps this has helped you avoid a lot of the frivolity that seems to grip many of your contemporaries.

Regardless of the good that God will bring out of that painful loss, you might want to try thanking him for all the good that you received from your mother and for the years that you did have her, rather than being angry at the Lord for her death.

Death comes for us all. Suffering comes for us all. But those hardships don’t have to negate the many gifts and good things that God sends us in our lives. We have the freedom to think of those and let them shore up hope and gratitude in our souls.

In the recent past there was someone else who lost his mom at a young age — he was only about 8 years old at the time of her death. He later lost his brother during an epidemic and at age 20 he lost his dad. With faith and confidence in God this young man went on to become a priest. Today the world remembers him as Pope St. John Paul II.

Certainly, the ways of God are mysterious. But be sure that he loves you and wants you close to him.

Perhaps this is a moment to draw close to the Blessed Virgin Mary. She is your Mother, too, and she wants nothing more than for you to be close to her Son, Jesus. Perhaps Mary might be a little easier for you to draw close to. John Paul II found great comfort in his devotion to Our Lady.

It might be good for you to cultivate your devotion to her. Ask her to help you trust God and to see his plan for your life. You can be sure that Our Lady would love for you to be reunited with your own mom someday. (You might find helpful our Retreat Guide “God Is Faithful.“)

I hope some of this helps. Count on my prayers.

Got a question? Need an answer?

Today’s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to [email protected] and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything – liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events… Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question…

“Ask a Priest: How Can I Trust God After My Mom’s Death?” Read More »

Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: Is Assisted Suicide OK for Me?”

Q: I suffer from a very rare neurological disorder that is extremely debilitating, and death is almost always inevitable from complications from the disease. I have amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or Lou Gehrig’s disease. I haven’t lost my faith in God and I have accepted my condition. I don’t necessarily believe in praying for a cure because to me, God isn’t some kind of genie that grants wishes. It also seems extremely selfish to ask for when so many people are suffering in the world. I just pray that my family can cope and to find peace. So now to my question, will God forgive me if I hasten my inevitable death via legal physician assisted suicide? They passed the law where I am from and I am an eligible patient. My family doesn’t complain so much about taking care of me, but I know caring for me is burdensome and sucking the life out of them. Please lend me your knowledge. Thank you very much and God bless. – M.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: I am sorry to hear about your medical condition. Our Lord has given you a heavy cross to bear, but he will be by your side to help you carry it.

I don’t want to sound blunt, but, no, suicide is not allowed in any case.

Permit me to quote from a few numbers in the Catechism.

2280 Everyone is responsible for his life before God who has given it to him. It is God who remains the sovereign Master of life. We are obliged to accept life gratefully and preserve it for his honor and the salvation of our souls. We are stewards, not owners, of the life God has entrusted to us. It is not ours to dispose of.

2281 Suicide contradicts the natural inclination of the human being to preserve and perpetuate his life. It is gravely contrary to the just love of self. It likewise offends love of neighbor because it unjustly breaks the ties of solidarity with family, nation, and other human societies to which we continue to have obligations. Suicide is contrary to love for the living God.

2282 If suicide is committed with the intention of setting an example, especially to the young, it also takes on the gravity of scandal. Voluntary co-operation in suicide is contrary to the moral law. [end quoted material]

You need to believe that your life still has meaning. You are a beloved daughter of God. Your example of facing your decline with a spirit of faith can be a great witness to others. Your life is a gift that you need to take care of as best you can. Your suffering can also be a motivation for unity within the family.

Suicide would be a terrible example to others, not least of all because it can inspire (if that is the right verb) other people to give in to despair. Suicide can also lowered people’s esteem for the gift of life. You don’t want to add to this kind of problem.

Instead, stay close to Our Lord. See this as a moment when he has invited you to share in redemptive suffering. You can offer up your suffering for yourself and for your loved ones, and for the conversion of sinners.

You might find our Retreat Guide A Mother’s Tears” helpful; it has a conference about the value of suffering and what “offering it up” is all about.

Keep learning more with Ask a Priest

Got a question? Need an answer?

Today’s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to [email protected] and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything – liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events… Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question…

“Ask a Priest: Is Assisted Suicide OK for Me?” Read More »

Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: So Many Lost Souls – Where Is Jesus’ Victory?”

Q: I often feel a sense of unease when I come across such phrases in the Gospel as “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven” or “The gate is wide and the road broad that leads to destruction, and those who enter through it are many.” If Jesus through his death and resurrection has won a victory over sin, death and Satan, then how am I to understand this victory if, as the Gospel and the Church Fathers suggest, very many, probably the majority of humanity, will be damned? Surely, the high number of damned souls would be Satan’s victory and consolation. Although I am also against abortion because it is murder, I sometimes wonder whether giving birth to a child is just adding to the sum total of human wickedness and potential demon-fodder. Unless my thinking is mistaken, how am I to understand the Gospel as good news? – P.S.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A. First, the Church has never officially declared what percentage of humanity would be lost. It is a speculative question, and we won’t know the answer until the last judgment.

We should always have hope for the salvation of souls. There is no reason to abandon praying for souls of the living or dead. Prayers make a difference!

Second, it is good to remember bringing children into the world is a good thing. God’s first command to the first couple was to “be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28). The idea that somehow a new life is adding to the misery in the world is badly mistaken. I dare say that you might have been influenced a lot by the world’s viewpoint here. Many people who support abortion and contraception try to justify them on the grounds that limiting the number of people in the world is good. That isn’t a Christian viewpoint. God wanted the first couple to multiply and to “fill the earth” (also Genesis 1:28). Suffice it to say that each person’s very existence is a sign of God’s glory. It isn’t for us to judge that new lives shouldn’t be raised up in the world.

Third, God gives everyone enough grace to reach heaven — if the person does his part. No one ends up lost but for his choice.

Fourth, as for the world being a nasty place: It has been a mess since the sin of the first humans. That sin brought original sin into the equation. The result is that we inherit a damaged human nature which is prone to doing bad things. The devil is strong — but Jesus is much stronger. Our faith teaches us that. The world is good; sin brings evil. But that isn’t God’s fault.

What is needed here is a spirit of faith and confidence in God’s providence. This is the moment when the world needs Christian witnesses. This is when the world needs to see the Gospel come alive in the lives of Christians.

This is the moment when we need to bring the light of Christ into a darkened realm. Mother Teresa did that, and she helped change the lives of millions. Such is the grace of God that can transform hearts.

So it might be good to forget the world thinks. Look to the example of Mother Teresa and other saints. They didn’t buy into the pessimism of the world. Rather, they built their lives on Christ. One way to imitate the saints is to stay close to prayer and the sacraments, and do what you can to help those around you.

Be bold about your Christianity. The world needs to see such boldness in you. (Perhaps the online retreat about discouragement might be helpful, A Cure for Discouragement.

I will pray for you!

“Ask a Priest: So Many Lost Souls – Where Is Jesus’ Victory?” Read More »

Scroll to Top

Looking for another country?

RC Near You

News & Resources

News & Resources

The Regnum Christi Mission

The Regnum Christi Identity

Alex Kucera

Atlanta

Alex Kucera has lived in Atlanta, GA, for the last 46 years. He is one of 9 children, married to his wife Karmen, and has 3 girls, one grandson, and a granddaughter on the way. Alex joined Regnum Christi in 2007. Out of the gate, he joined the Helping Hands Medical Missions apostolate and is still participating today with the Ghana Friendship Mission.

In 2009, Alex was asked to be the Atlanta RC Renewal Coordinator for the Atlanta Locality to help the RC members with the RC renewal process. Alex became a Group Leader in 2012 for four of the Atlanta Men’s Section Teams and continues today. Running in parallel, in 2013, Alex became a Team Leader and shepherded a large team of good men.

Alex was honored to be the Atlanta Mission Coordinator between 2010 to 2022 (12 years), coordinating 5-8 Holy Week Mission teams across Georgia. He also created and coordinated missions at a parish in Athens, GA, for 9 years. Alex continues to coordinate Holy Week Missions, Advent Missions, and Monthly missions at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Cumming, GA.

From 2016 to 2022, Alex also served as the Men’s Section Assistant in Atlanta. He loved working with the Men’s Section Director, the Legionaries, Consecrated, and Women’s Section leadership teams.

Alex is exceptionally grateful to the Legionaries, Consecrated, and many RC members who he’s journeyed shoulder to shoulder, growing his relationship with Christ and others along the way. He knows that there is only one way, that’s Christ’s Way, with others!