Apostolate

Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: What If I Feel Betrayed by Laypeople in a Ministry?”

Q: For 10 years by my husband and I have been members of a lay Catholic evangelical group that has a womb-to-tomb ministry. A few months ago, our city chapter leader and his spouse removed us from service in the core group and said that we were an obstacle to their moving forward in ministry. They refused to explain. We have had occasional differences about administrative matters in the past, but nothing that we believe were so serious as to what was said. We feel that this move stemmed from some deep-rooted dislike that this leader has for us. We are fine with not being in the core group because in this mission the leader has the authority to choose; but it is very hard to get past the reason stated and how it was done. We decided to continue in the mission and do whatever we can to serve the Lord. Yet, we see that we are continually sidelined. We recognize that we made some mistakes too, but at times we are overwhelmed by a sense of betrayal, lies and hypocrisy from the very people who professed to be our brothers and sisters in Christ. We try to leave it to the Lord in prayer, and in spite of knowing that this is not a big cross to carry, I find myself wanting justice or at least an explanation. Am I right in having such expectations? How do I deal with them and find peace? Is it better to leave the group? – S.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: I’m sorry to hear about the situation. Yet it’s not unusual.

Wherever there is an apostolate to help souls and build the Church, there seems to be a fair amount of disunity and disagreements. Part of this is thanks to the devil, who makes a special effort to get people fighting one another. Disunity is usually the devil’s calling card.

With that in mind you might consider staying and working to build up the work as best you can, notwithstanding the treatment you have faced.

Ultimately it helps us to do things for Jesus alone, and not because we will be praised by people around us.

I’m not implying that you and your spouse are involved in self-seeking here. It’s just that sometimes, despite our best efforts, we are misunderstood and unappreciated. This is why it helps to keep your focus on Jesus (he suffered the same kind of treatment). Do things for the glory of God and the good of souls, and you won’t go wrong.

Remember, too, that even in the darkest situations, the light of Christ can shine if we maintain a spirit of forgiveness and mercy

Nonetheless, it’s a prudential decision whether to stay with this particular group or to move on and dedicate your efforts to something else.

You might want to take some of this to prayer and see where the Holy Spirit is leading you. Then make your best decision.

Keep learning more with Ask a Priest

Got a question? Need an answer?

Today’s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time. AskACatholicPriest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use. Just type in your question or send an email to [email protected] and you will get a personal response back from one of our priests at RCSpirituality. You can ask about anything – liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events… Our goal is simply to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question…

“Ask a Priest: What If I Feel Betrayed by Laypeople in a Ministry?” Read More »

Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest

“Ask a Priest: What’s a Single Person to Do?”

Q: It seems as though the Catholic Church places heavy emphasis on marriage. Although I feel called to marriage, I am not married at this time. This is not due to a lack of effort and prayer on my part. As a single Catholic, is there any value to my existence as far as the Church is concerned? If the answer is yes, then why don’t I ever hear about the virtues and beauty of being single? If marriage really is better than the single life, then why don’t we, as a Church, help singles to get into a marriage, especially if those singles feel called to that state? Something as simple as prayers for singles at Mass would be great. If it helps in how you answer these concerns, I do serve as a lector at Mass and teach in a Catholic school. Yet, I feel like a non-entity within my faith community. Thank you for your time and God bless you. -C.C.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Of course you have value in the eyes of the Church! You are a dearly beloved daughter of God — and a gift to the rest of us.

You touch on a valid point, however. The ministry and works of the Church often overlook singles. This might be linked to lots of reasons. For one, limited resources tend to be used in family-oriented needs. Second, the single life traditionally hasn’t gotten as much attention as it deserves; indeed, it has often been seen (including by many singles themselves) as an interim phase of life. The Church arguably has been slow to respond to this sector of the faithful.

First, I’d suggest that you try to see this time of your life as an opportunity. See it as a chance to spend time going deep in your prayer life, enriching your intellectual formation and specifically your knowledge of the faith, and engaging in works of charity and apostolate within the Church. There is no shortage of other folks out there who could probably use your help and talents. (It sounds as if you are already doing that, which is great.)

This will help you to avoid that temptation to put life on hold. Every moment of life is a gift of God, and every moment is time you have to draw closer to him. By using your talents, etc., for the good of others, especially your students, you are also giving glory to God.

I mention all this because — let’s be honest — there is no guarantee of meeting Mr. Right. There never is. What is important is that you don’t leave your life “in neutral” in the meantime. If you have a full life of prayer, apostolate and work, and a network of good friends, you are more likely to spend your time in healthy circles where you have a better chance of meeting a good man.

In the meantime, feel free to suggest ideas to your parish. That idea of praying for singles (perhaps in the petitions at Mass) would be a great idea. If social prospects are limited in your parish, look for something at the diocesan level – or start something, if nothing now exists. (For further reading, check out Mary Beth Bonacci’s materials here.)

It might be good to keep in mind, too, that marriage has its own crosses. More than a few spouses suffer grievously (and quietly) because of difficult partners, family illnesses, tensions with in-laws, financial strains, etc. This isn’t meant to dissuade you, but to be a reminder that everyone suffers in the mystical body of the Church.

In case you ever feel unloved, glance at a crucifix to remind yourself that Someone loved you so much that he died for you.

Count on being in one of my Mass intentions. God bless.

“Ask a Priest: What’s a Single Person to Do?” Read More »

Scroll to Top

Looking for another country?

RC Near You

News & Resources

News & Resources

The Regnum Christi Mission

The Regnum Christi Identity

Alex Kucera

Atlanta

Alex Kucera has lived in Atlanta, GA, for the last 46 years. He is one of 9 children, married to his wife Karmen, and has 3 girls, one grandson, and a granddaughter on the way. Alex joined Regnum Christi in 2007. Out of the gate, he joined the Helping Hands Medical Missions apostolate and is still participating today with the Ghana Friendship Mission.

In 2009, Alex was asked to be the Atlanta RC Renewal Coordinator for the Atlanta Locality to help the RC members with the RC renewal process. Alex became a Group Leader in 2012 for four of the Atlanta Men’s Section Teams and continues today. Running in parallel, in 2013, Alex became a Team Leader and shepherded a large team of good men.

Alex was honored to be the Atlanta Mission Coordinator between 2010 to 2022 (12 years), coordinating 5-8 Holy Week Mission teams across Georgia. He also created and coordinated missions at a parish in Athens, GA, for 9 years. Alex continues to coordinate Holy Week Missions, Advent Missions, and Monthly missions at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Cumming, GA.

From 2016 to 2022, Alex also served as the Men’s Section Assistant in Atlanta. He loved working with the Men’s Section Director, the Legionaries, Consecrated, and Women’s Section leadership teams.

Alex is exceptionally grateful to the Legionaries, Consecrated, and many RC members who he’s journeyed shoulder to shoulder, growing his relationship with Christ and others along the way. He knows that there is only one way, that’s Christ’s Way, with others!