“Ask a Priest: What If a Confessor Grew Impatient With Me?”

Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest
Q: I had a very bad experience recently at confession. The priest didn’t allow me to finish and kept interrupting me and arguing that he didn’t want long stories or details or repetitions as these are already absolved in previous confessions although I said I glossed over them previously and wanted to do a better job. He raised his voice impatiently, and because the booth wasn’t completely soundproof I’m sure many waiting parishioners heard as well. He made me feel I was wasting his time and that my confession was trivial. I feel so angry and embarrassed after the event. Should I just give a generic confession without going into detail next time? – J.A.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: I’m sorry to hear about the incident. Ideally, a priest should always be patient in the confessional.

Perhaps this priest was having a bad day, or perhaps he sensed that you were rattling on needlessly and leaving other people waiting for their turn at confession. He might sense a bit of scrupulosity in you, too, since you brought up things from previous confessions.

If you know that other penitents are waiting, it’s generally a good idea to stick to the essentials. “Sins, not stories,” is the advice one pastor used to give at the start of big penitential services.

While it’s important to give a sense of the gravity – for instance, telling a lie to cover up a minor mistake differs from telling a lie that sends someone to prison – you don’t need to give a three-minute recap with all the smallest details of every sin.

And being succinct in confession is becoming more important as the number of priests declines and the availability of confession is less frequent. It helps to prepare confession well, even jotting down the key things you want to mention.

Don’t let any of this dissuade you from staying close to the sacrament, however. It is one of the treasures of the Church.

And pray for vocations. We need more priests — and confessors. Count on my prayers.

 

Have a question?

Today’s secular world throws curve balls at us all the time.

Ask A Catholic Priest is a Q&A feature that anyone can use.  You can ask about anything: liturgy, prayer, moral questions, current events. Our goal is to provide a trustworthy forum for dependable Catholic guidance and information. So go ahead and ask your question…

Need an answer?

Be in the know

Sign up to receive the latest questions and answers by email biweekly.

Have a Question about the Faith? Get the answer here!

Scroll to Top

Ask a Priest a Question

Please note:

Questions regarding details of abuse of minors or vulnerable adults (including pornography) could be the subject of a mandated report to civil authorities. Mandated reporters are persons identified by law who have an obligation to report suspected child abuse and neglect. 

Sign Up to Receive Ask A Priest

* indicates required

Looking for another country?

RC Near You

News & Resources

News & Resources

The Regnum Christi Mission

The Regnum Christi Identity

Alex Kucera

Atlanta

Alex Kucera has lived in Atlanta, GA, for the last 46 years. He is one of 9 children, married to his wife Karmen, and has 3 girls, one grandson, and a granddaughter on the way. Alex joined Regnum Christi in 2007. Out of the gate, he joined the Helping Hands Medical Missions apostolate and is still participating today with the Ghana Friendship Mission.

In 2009, Alex was asked to be the Atlanta RC Renewal Coordinator for the Atlanta Locality to help the RC members with the RC renewal process. Alex became a Group Leader in 2012 for four of the Atlanta Men’s Section Teams and continues today. Running in parallel, in 2013, Alex became a Team Leader and shepherded a large team of good men.

Alex was honored to be the Atlanta Mission Coordinator between 2010 to 2022 (12 years), coordinating 5-8 Holy Week Mission teams across Georgia. He also created and coordinated missions at a parish in Athens, GA, for 9 years. Alex continues to coordinate Holy Week Missions, Advent Missions, and Monthly missions at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Cumming, GA.

From 2016 to 2022, Alex also served as the Men’s Section Assistant in Atlanta. He loved working with the Men’s Section Director, the Legionaries, Consecrated, and Women’s Section leadership teams.

Alex is exceptionally grateful to the Legionaries, Consecrated, and many RC members who he’s journeyed shoulder to shoulder, growing his relationship with Christ and others along the way. He knows that there is only one way, that’s Christ’s Way, with others!