Q: I had a very bad experience recently at confession. The priest didn’t allow me to finish and kept interrupting me and arguing that he didn’t want long stories or details or repetitions as these are already absolved in previous confessions although I said I glossed over them previously and wanted to do a better job. He raised his voice impatiently, and because the booth wasn’t completely soundproof I’m sure many waiting parishioners heard as well. He made me feel I was wasting his time and that my confession was trivial. I feel so angry and embarrassed after the event. Should I just give a generic confession without going into detail next time? – J.A.
Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC
A: I’m sorry to hear about the incident. Ideally, a priest should always be patient in the confessional.
Perhaps this priest was having a bad day, or perhaps he sensed that you were rattling on needlessly and leaving other people waiting for their turn at confession. He might sense a bit of scrupulosity in you, too, since you brought up things from previous confessions.
If you know that other penitents are waiting, it’s generally a good idea to stick to the essentials. “Sins, not stories,” is the advice one pastor used to give at the start of big penitential services.
While it’s important to give a sense of the gravity – for instance, telling a lie to cover up a minor mistake differs from telling a lie that sends someone to prison – you don’t need to give a three-minute recap with all the smallest details of every sin.
And being succinct in confession is becoming more important as the number of priests declines and the availability of confession is less frequent. It helps to prepare confession well, even jotting down the key things you want to mention.
Don’t let any of this dissuade you from staying close to the sacrament, however. It is one of the treasures of the Church.
And pray for vocations. We need more priests — and confessors. Count on my prayers.