“Ask a Priest: May I Romantically Text a Woman Who’s Not My Wife?”

Regnum Christi Spirituality Center Ask a Priest
Q: I’m a 74-year-old married man, who has been texting with a woman who is much younger and lives on another continent. I plan to honor my obligation to my wife, but the marriage is loveless. After many long and deep conversations with this younger woman, there have been messages of love between us. As long as the communication is chaste, is it OK to continue? – J.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: Honoring your obligation to your wife includes avoiding any inappropriate interaction with other women – texting included.

It’s a form of flirting, and it isn’t a way to show fidelity to your wife.

You mention that your marriage is loveless. Love is an act of the will, not the emotions. In that sense, a loveless marriage is chosen. It doesn’t just happen.

You committed to your wife freely. This is a moment when the demands of marriage might be costlier.

Perhaps you might not feel the same “rewards” from marriage as before. That is OK. That means this is an opportunity to purify your love, to stay dedicated to your spouse for her sake and for God’s glory.

It would be good to stop the texting immediately and to focus on loving your wife.

Try praying with her and perhaps getting to daily Mass together. You might want to get to confession, too.

Your mission is to help your wife get to heaven. Presumably, you want to get there, too. But you haven’t crossed the finish line yet.

 

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Alex Kucera

Atlanta

Alex Kucera has lived in Atlanta, GA, for the last 46 years. He is one of 9 children, married to his wife Karmen, and has 3 girls, one grandson, and a granddaughter on the way. Alex joined Regnum Christi in 2007. Out of the gate, he joined the Helping Hands Medical Missions apostolate and is still participating today with the Ghana Friendship Mission.

In 2009, Alex was asked to be the Atlanta RC Renewal Coordinator for the Atlanta Locality to help the RC members with the RC renewal process. Alex became a Group Leader in 2012 for four of the Atlanta Men’s Section Teams and continues today. Running in parallel, in 2013, Alex became a Team Leader and shepherded a large team of good men.

Alex was honored to be the Atlanta Mission Coordinator between 2010 to 2022 (12 years), coordinating 5-8 Holy Week Mission teams across Georgia. He also created and coordinated missions at a parish in Athens, GA, for 9 years. Alex continues to coordinate Holy Week Missions, Advent Missions, and Monthly missions at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Cumming, GA.

From 2016 to 2022, Alex also served as the Men’s Section Assistant in Atlanta. He loved working with the Men’s Section Director, the Legionaries, Consecrated, and Women’s Section leadership teams.

Alex is exceptionally grateful to the Legionaries, Consecrated, and many RC members who he’s journeyed shoulder to shoulder, growing his relationship with Christ and others along the way. He knows that there is only one way, that’s Christ’s Way, with others!