Q: My husband fell over a year ago and fractured his back and is confined to a wheelchair and a walker now at age 84. He is diabetic, too, but his mind is very sharp. When I go shopping, I always ask him if he needs anything. The last time I went he said he wanted a pie, which he probably shouldn’t have. But I got it because he is known to get angry if I tell him what to eat. One time he said he didn’t want me or the doctor to tell him what he should eat. Am I committing a serious sin giving him things he shouldn’t eat because of being diabetic? I feel at his age he should eat what he wants. Otherwise, it makes life a little miserable when he doesn’t get his way. – Jean

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC

A: You are rightly concerned about your husband’s health.

While the pies might satisfy his sweet tooth and give him a sense of control over his life, the impact on his health would directly affect you and all the family.

It’s understandable that your husband looks for ways to assert himself. Being confined to a wheelchair and a walker is probably a heavy cross for him.

But this is where your spousal love can help spare him from the potentially heavier cross of further declines in health.

Here you might remind him of how much you love him and how much joy it would bring you to see him stay healthy.

If he senses your deep love, he might be able to perceive your suggestions more easily as expressions of concern – and not as nagging.

Would it be a sin to get him the pie if he insists? Let’s just say that the onus is ultimately on him to eat properly.

In any case, be sure to pray and sacrifice for your husband. The Holy Spirit can help to stifle your husband’s sweet tooth – and remind him how fortunate he is to have such a loving wife.